So the latest calamities over here include voles (do not google, it’s gross) and overflowing toilets, and yet I am here for this 90 Day Fiance recap BECAUSE IT IS THE TELL ALL!! I could not be more excited. This is the best show that a lot of you are not watching. But it gets ALL THE RATINGS that Bravo wishes it still got. It’s huge with those of us who are not Brainwashed By Bravo. My incessant whining about Bravo shows is because I feel like we all have still watch them because we have been watching them and are invested in the housewives. But 90 Day Fiance gives us new people each season and it’s a first season show every season! Now Let’s see where they are now in the Tell All we have all been waiting for.
I can’t you how excited I am for this next two hours. WTF is Yara wearing? She looks like a Martian with a camel toe. Natalie and Mike arrive separately. Julia is doing a lot of narration. I would like to hit Andrew in the head with a brick. He wants answers from Amira? Does he not know by know that we have all seen him gaslight her and treat her like shit and then go tell his mommy that he has no idea why she left him??? Andrew has had a blow out. Natalie arrives and doesn’t speak to Mike. Hazel and Tarik are dialing in virtually from different locations! They are in quarantine in the same house quarantining due to COVID exposure. Thankfully, we don’t have to deal with Stephanie or any of her interchangeable men tonight.
Mike & Natalie
Yara and Jovi seem very much in love with their daughter and each other. Julia says Brandon’s mother is still a pain in the ass. But we start with Mike and Natalie. Natalie says their relationship is currently a six. Mike says it is a seven. Natalie is not wearing her rings. She says she isn’t wearing them because she didn’t want them to get stolen. Natalie is not explaining why they arrived separately. She refuses to answer the question. Mike puts his arm around Natalie when they show her crying all the way to Seattle. Mike feels like shit for refusing to marry Natalie. He apologizes to Natalie. He hates seeing that. Mike took off that night for hours the night before the wedding. Mike seems very inauthentic.
Tamara comes on to talk about Mike and Natalie’s relationship. She says that they fight a lot and she was not surprised that he called off the wedding. His mother said that he told her days before the wedding that he was going to send her back to Ukraine. Mike’s mom says Natalie is a jealous person. His mom clearly doesn’t like Natalie. She is throwing Mike under the bus. In never before scene footage we discover that Mike’s Mom tried to get Tamara to object to the wedding! She’s horrible and she still doesn’t support the marriage.
Yara & Jovi
Yara is sad that her mother hasn’t even met the baby yet. They hope they can get a visa for her soon. They play footage of the bachelor party. Yara cries at the scene where he goes upstairs with the stripper. The other guys all freak out. She has never seen that scene before. The guys are all cringing. This is bad. But great TV. Jovi’s mom comes on and is pissed. She says Jovi has been on a bachelor party for years. Then, we see Jovi doing a lie detector test. He failed the question, “Have you ever slept with a stripper?” Jovi’s mother is pissed. I hate that sex with strippers is a situation on this show.
Brandon & Julia
Yara and Julia seem to be very close friends throughout this process. Yara sticks up for Julia about Betty’s overbearing ways. All the guys say that it was ridiculous to move a wife in with your parents. Brandon says he was looking at apartments for them to live in but Julia didn’t lie any of the options. Of course Betty and Ron Skype in. Basically, Julia is a stripper. She prefers “go-go dancer.” Natalie thinks Julia’s dancing is beautiful. The Russian girls are all banding together. Apparently, she is still shoveling shit on the farm. Everyone hate Betty and Ron, naturally. All the Russian speaking girls are appalled by what Julia has to do on the farm.
This is television gold. Some of the girls seem to think that Julia is playing poor pitiful me. They seem to think she is the real villain in the story. I disagree. Betty is the problem. Next we talk about Betty wanting to put Julia on birth control. Everyone thinks that is ridiculous. Julia says she has a friend who was on birth control and cannot have babies now.
Rebecca & Zied
They start off discussing that Rebecca is 20 plus years older than Zied. She got some botox and lip injections for her fiftieth birthday. Also she got a tummy tuck and a liposuction. The women all argue the pros and cons of cosmetic surgery. Julia is against cosmetic surgery and everyone else thinks she is nuts because she is like 15. Zied says that Rebecca looks better and younger now. I don’t really see a big difference in Rebecca. They keep showing Hazel’s view and she is alone in her room looking really sad.
Tiffany’s daughter and husband seem to have come around to the marriage. They were trying to protect their mother. They are all onboard now. Next, they want to bring Amira on to the show. However, she will not be on the show at the same time as Andrew. She wants nothing to do with him YAY! Production tells Andrew that he has to leave the stage during Amira’s segment. He has a hissy fit and storms off. They will have to film separately.
Next week looks GREAT! I can’t wait!