Tonight’s RHOA Recap is running a bit late because I just woke up for the day. It’s true, I slept through Easter all together. Banjo and I both wake up throughout the night (and um day today) to pee, so we were up off and on for a few minutes and then got right back to sleep. So much for my planned Easter dinner. I’ll probably cook the chicken for Banjo. Anyway, off to the latest drama albeit a late start, and still a bit drowsy. I’ll be wide awake at 3 am though. Le sigh.
Big Freedia Cares Even Less About BOLO Than I Do
There is more than one hurricane coming tonight. We start with all the ladies except Drew on the van to a mystery destination chosen by “the hostess” Drew. She has brought them to a restaurant through the kitchen where Big Freedia awaits. She is going to give them a cooking lesson. They are making booty poppin’ potatoes and margaritas. The potatoes look amazing with onions, sausage and onions. Then Big Freedia gives a booty poppin’ lesson. Marlo tells Kenya and Kandi about her conversation with Porsha. Marlo wants to know from Kandi if she knows whether Porsha really slept with BOLO. Kandi is not going to discuss it. Once more with feeling NOBODY CARES!
Over dinner, Marlo asks Big Freedia for advice on her being caught in the middle of Porsha and Kenya over the damn BOLO situation without naming any names. Big Freedia says to try to stay out of the middle. Marlo keeps talking in generalities. Porsha is pissed off that this conversation is even happening. Kandi says that the situation doesn’t have anything to do with Marlo. I’m shocked that Kandi is inserting herself in this conversation. Usually she just sits there and pulls faces. Plus there is food. Just eat the food, Kandi! Kandi says that Marlo is putting herself in the middle of the conversation for
screen time no reason. Kenya and Porsha are both pissed that Marlo is putting everything on Front Street in front of Big Freedia. Then, Marlo just makes a dramatic exit (with her drink in hand) and storms out tells them, “Goodnight with your fake asses.” AND SCENE.
The Old Porsha Returns
Or it was supposed to be the end of the scene. But it appears Marlo can’t figure out how to exit the building. That’s kind of hilarious. So she has to go back through the kitchen where the ladies are having dinner. She’s still ranting and raving for no reason. I feel like she has taken a lot of lessons form Nene on this move right here. She has no storyline so she is going to jump into this one. No one knows why Marlo is so hot and bothered over something that has nothing to do with her. She says “A bitch ain’t going to put a lie on me without me straightening her ass out.” Porsha takes that as a shot of her. This is so overproduced it makes no sense at all.
Drew tries to bring Marlo back to the table. Porsha starts screaming at Marlo, “YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH ME!” Over and over. She needs to shut her mouth because Marlo will filet her like a fish. Kenya gives Big Freedia a kiss and a thank you and goes outside. Big Freedia gets up still chewing food and seeks shelter. Kenya, Drew, Marlo and Latoya (who sat silently shaking in her boots this whole time because it seems she has been told by production not to drink on camera anymore after the Halloween party from hell) all end up in the parking lot. Marlo storms off again and Latoya quietly trails in her wake.
Porsha, Porsha, Porsha!
Kenya and Drew go back inside. Drew apologizes to Big Freedia who is cleaning up the kitchen. Kenya tries to explain to the sane people who are actually eating their dinner in peace what is going on. A bunch of overproduced stupidity, that is what. In Kenya’s explanation she starts off with , “Marlo thought she and Porsha were friends…”. Porsha starts screaming Don’t Say My Name! After a literal season of “Say Her Name Breonna Taylor.” Activist Porsha is back as the old Porsha threatening everyone. That didn’t take long.
Kandi has had just about all she can take. So while she waits hoping for a dessert, she points out that if someone slept with a stripper, who the fuck cares? How would that affect any of us in some way? Everyone says they would not care. So why are they still talking about it? Porsha and Kenya go after each other again. Kenya screaming at her that she fucked BOLO. Porsha screamed back that she fucked BOLO, she fucked the man who made the pig, (ROFLMAO, not the man who made the pig!), she fucked everybody and it was so good. Porsha and Kenya just literally volley the word “bitch” back and forth for a bit. I think the toddlers need a nap. Once again, Kandi tries to just find a way to make them stop bringing up BOLO. Later at the hotel, Kandi admits to Marlo when questioned privately that Porsha has lied in her past. Alot. But so has Kenya.
The next morning the girls show up to discover Porsha flew home without telling anyone. Drew went to Cynthia’s room to tell her. Apparently, she also told Latoya who went to Kenya’s room to tell her. Latoya and Kenya think it is hysterical. Kenya basically does a victory lap around her room. Shamea is still there without Porsha. Kandi also left early over the storm. She had work coming up that she could not miss by being stranded in a storm. Is it me or is this the longest episode ever? We are only half way through and it’s already a really long post.
Kandi got out just in time. The weather is terrible and the power has gone out during a serious lightning storm. Everyone is nervous and trying to pack up in the dark. These fools all went down there KNOWING that the hurricane was coming. It’s not like a tornado that just creeps up you.
Back In The ATL
Everyone is so excited that Biden won, and it is making me emotional all over again that we pulled through here in Georgia. Porsha talks about our hero, Stacey Abrams and all the black voters that pushed us over the top. Meanwhile in real life, our shithead Governor just passed a law making it harder for low-income people to vote. So we are back where we started. 🙁
Kandi shot a movie. We also saw the opening of Blaze their new restaurant. The ladies and husbands show up to celebrate. The old lady gang all shows up! The restaurant is gorgeous. Porsha refuses to even acknowledge Marlo. And that is where we leave it until next week. Porsha is going to go in on Marlo for getting liposuction as if Porsha hasn’t had a lot of work herself.