So sorry, this is the Below Deck discussion forum. I made it all about me and my mental health but talk about Below Deck here.
I’m literally having a mental break down. I can’t take too much more of this pandemic shit. I just want to go back to bed. I do not want to do this day. I do not want to do it. I want to roll up in a little ball and not exist. I thought I was strong enough, but I am not. So um, I apologize but I am calling in sick with you guys tonight. I’m also sorry for not responding to you emails. I will eventually.
I am watching Andy Cohen on Kelly Clarkson right now and Andy says he is going to have another kid. I don’t feel well and I am going back to bed. Tell me what is happening tonight.
Sleep. Rest. Feel better. I’m ready to throw in the white towel myself. Too many demands from too many directions, and I’m barely taking care of myself. I need foot & ankle surgery. I have been warned not to wait too long or my ankle cannot be fixed. I have members of my family that would run my ass til the damn thing can’t be fixed.
Meg, I understand the war. Your situation is worse than mine, However, we eventually all have a place where we can’t take any more stress.I CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE. And I am just an old fat lady sitting on the couch that should be recapping reality shows. I am not functional. I can’t do anything today, I am broken and fucked up.
Take a break, get some rest, and enjoy Banjo. We will be here when you feel up too it. I feel like I’m going through the exact same thing,I just can’t take much more stress, only difference is I’m only 32 with a 5 year old. We have to start taking better care of ourselves, it’s time we get back to a happy place, even if it’s just a few minutes a day.
Awe, I just read your reply. You are more than just an old fat lady. You do so much for us here. More than I think you know. You give us an outlet to comment, bitch, gripe, snark, console each other. The reality shows can wait. We can swap comments about anything you want or nothing at all and you can rest. We are not going anywhere. You are a priority, not the site. Love you!!!
I agree I don’t think many of us come for the updates. Its so much more
Girlfriend! You do you! We’ll be here. Reach out if needed. ♥️
Thanks I am fine. I just need a minute.
Well, I still come to your site first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Feel better TT, this is hard for you. I’m not trying to piss everyone off, but nothing really changed for me since this pandemic. I still cook, clean, do yoga, take care of the 6 cats, take care of my husband who is an utter slob and sit outside with the cats and knit. The only difference is I was having groceries delivered for a while but now I go to grocery stores more often than delivery. If I lived alone, I’d have a lot more time on my hands and it would probably bug me but considering all I do is cook, clean, get groceries and take care of “other beings”, it’s just been like Groundhog Day for a while now. I gotta say, if it wasn’t for my cats, I don’t know what I’d do. I love them more than anything. Every last one of them. i do think it’s healthy to break the routine tho, for our mental health. Sometimes I shake things up around here and do yoga, cook, THEN clean… HA HA HA HA. TT, maybe watch some comedy shows. Laughter really does help.
I am not doing good. I keep trying to force my GBF to tell me he loves me, lol. He totally does. This should not be hard for me. I am sort of a shut in,in the first place. I know people mock me online. I am just despondent, My dog is dying, I just can’t.
TT, I think the Banjo thing is making it worse. Can’t you take him and go visit family or a friend for awhile? Just get out of your house and get to different surroundings?
No need to apologize. You are strong enough, this is just a moment. After reading your site for years, weak is not a word that comes to mind about you Tamara. Give your self space to be where you are and you with get up and go forward when you can. Right now you need to take care of yourself. From a fellow human that struggles everyday. Love are kindness to you!
Wow, Willow79, this is so well said and I agree 100%! We all hit a wall at different times, but I know I’m there right now too as is my family. It’s okay not to be okay, but there are so many of us wishing you well, TT. Thanks for all you do for us and for giving us this space to connect.
Re: Below Deck, tonight’s episode was so sad and frustrating. Can you imagine being that jaded and privileged that you complain through the whole vacation, can’t find enough to keep you entertained, and miss the beautiful sunset sail? What a waste!! Stay home – let someone take the vacation who will appreciate it!
My dream if I went on one of the Below Deck vacations would be an unlimited charcuterie board, a pasta course at every meal, and no beach picnic because they never go well.
That family should have been on Captain Sandy’s yacht, they have no interest in sailing.
Sounds like the blues to me. Down here on the gulf coast, the island is bustling with spring break travelers. We don’t get the crazy beach scene like you see in Miami cuz it’s just too boring here. We are a pet friendly, family friendly, nature loving kind of place that is very quiet and isolated. The weather has been sporadically nice and it has helped me a lot. My work is tourism based so it’s good to be back working. It’s helped and being tired from work is much better than being tired of worrying and doing nothing. I’ve had First moderna vaccine and it has helped a lot with my anxiety. I still worry a lot. I’m way too sensitive and worry way too much but when I get the blues., I take a drive and it helps me. I get out and see different stuff and am always glad to be back when I get home. I take my mask and gloves in case I decide to get out in the world but I feel safe in my car. My dog loves to ride so he bullies me into getting out. I think he was somebody important in a past life, so I just go along. Hang in there! We need you now more than ever to cover the important things like the trial.
When Covid first hit they’re was a lot of “we’re all in the same boat” screw that, it really upset me…. we might all be in the same storm however certainly not in the same boat. Some people have yachts and some are in row boats with holes… what I’ve found is there are days I have that are yacht days, and than weeks that I’m floating on shiplap. I’ve been a regular on your site for over a year and never commented, finally got the courage tonight because I truly feel you and needed to say it’s ok to have a shiplap day, or week…or month… be kind to yourself… your site has kept me sane during every sleepless night since I discovered it and I can’t express my gratitude and appreciation for you enough, for being you… through any storm, on any vessel… you’re amazing
Aw thanks. I am not amazing. I am just someone like all of us and am drinking too much and crying too much and can’t seem to do better. We are all struggling.
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT JEN SHAH
What happened to Jen Shah
Couldn’t have happened to anyone more deserving
I live in Utah and it was all over the news and Twitter, wish I could have driven to the courthouse
Sleeping and resting is the worse thing you can do when you’re depressed. You have to pick yourself up. Go for a walk in a park with trees and grass. Don’t lay around. Keep busy.
i agree, and try to eat fresh foods TT, with real nutrients, nothing better to boost your morale, cooking can be fun and you have a garden, spend some time outside, the sun is good booster too, take care
People are mocking you online? No, no, dear soul…it’s called “gaslighting.”
Tamara, you know I read you every day, this has been happening more often, let’s see what our options are now:
1. Keep doing what you are doing
2 Try to do a little bit each day, get outside each day, it getting warmer, almost tomato weather!
3. Contact the people who say they love you, spend time with them.
4. Get vaccinated
5. Call a Doctor, get some help.
a year ago, I was in the same place, I know there were circumstances, but I just curled up in a ball, crying and watching tv. My outside circumstances gradually improved, but I often think what would happen had they not improved. would I still be curled up on the bed? Possibly.
You cant help this, and it requires tons of courage to take even a small step, I know, but please take it.
BD is full of terrible people, dont worry about it.
Better advice than some professionals have been giving.
#2 and #3 are resonating with me. And what is MOST DOABLE for our TT.
I agree. Sometimes the smallest change in our routine helps with our mental health. Take the dog for a brief walk down the block, go for a 10 minute car ride, call a friend or go get a cup of coffee. Staying in the house constantly worrying about every little thing is bad for our mindset. My daughtervstarted taking anxiety meds the last 3 months and has improved tremendously
TT, I started following you a year when all hell broke loose. I live in Sun Valley, ID and we were actually a ‘hotspot’ at this time last year. Then our real estate market went crazy b/c everyone wants to move to a ski town in the mountains…..the dynamic of our community has changed but I’m one of the lucky ones where Covid has not changed my daily routine as we’re able to get outside and I still get to enjoy my outdoor activities. I race bikes (I should say bicycles) so while all my events were canceled, I still was able to enjoy riding which then turned to ski season. I guess my point is don’t be hard on yourself. Take breaks when you need them. I have really enjoyed your site, your snark and your honesty. My parents passed away several years ago and I learned a valuable acronym from a wonderful friend: H.A.L.T. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired…..if I’m feeling any of these on any given day I put myself in a time-out
Fat Orange TinTin was bugging me last week. But this week …
Whenever I feel a rant coming on, I compose in notes so I don’t lose it if a site crashes
But I am a few minutes in and Fat Orange better pray I never see in in the wild. So I had to post.
Telling his son to eat up because when they go home, he is sending him to Fat Camp. Way to go MO-FO! I hope his son learns some positive self image skills at “Fat Camp.” Dad could at least call it FITNESS camp or HEALTH camp.
What a PUD! I haven’t thought of that term in years. Learned it when the Beatles were young. British slang for a man with a short wiener. The Brit version of cockalorum. Somehow, pud also brings to mind a PUDGY man with a small unit.
He reminded of me as a character that should be on Faulty Towers or the like. Horrendous and hoping he is playing to the camera
yeah, that made me want to puke.. what an asshole.
I’m not doing well either. I wake up thinking it is going to get better only to find myself on the same place. I miss hugs. I miss seeing my family. I miss not feeling like this. TT, your posts reach me so much because of your honesty.
I suffer from BPD. Just got the diagnosis the other week so now am dealing with that. I will make it. Thanks to this community
My dog is dying too. I just want to GO HOME. But my home has become a preschool and my office.
So I came here to see your thoughts on the new alleged felon by Bravo.
I’m sure you’ll get to it. You always seem to know the actual legal details about things. I’d expect better vetting at this point!
Which one of us beotchez are going to reach-out and give our girl a hand here? Seriously my plate is full as the default designated-driver and pill nurse at my own place but Tamara is welcome with Banjo to bring it here in NJ any time-open invite- I will even send an uber from NJ if that is what she needs.
TT-we love you. I saw your tweet about really getting some help. I know it is not easy but your plan is good and it seems like you are SO CLOSE to trying to get some help. Which one of us can please help Tamara push-through to get some good treatment? DON’T MAKE ME COME THERE! haha. Just kidding it would not be horrible but yeah I have my hands full here already-but I will do it if I have to.
You are so sweet. I just whine too much and need to get a plan of action in place. I think I am going to need to fight my fears and go back to my old lady gym and start DOING something.