Can you believe it’s already time for another Summer House recap? This week has flown by! If you need to catch up on last week’s drama click here. We pick up where we left off with the guys and gals having separate girls/guys nights. The ladies have a spa night. The guys have a ‘get shit faced’ night. Ooof Carl is going to drink. He says he has more control over it now but it worries me. Kyle is an aggressive, loud leprechaun.
The girls discuss who in the house they would procreate with. Hannah and Danielle would have sex with Kyle. Hannah, obvi. We called this in the comments. But Danielle? Really? Kyle and Carl press Luke over Ciara. Lindsay takes up for Luke which doesn’t go over well. Amanda and Paige corner Luke in the kitchen. They ask him if he’s ever slept with Lindsay. He says he hasn’t. They don’t believe him. If a random psychic messages Hannah to say that, it MUST be true! I’m no psychic but I predict this “psychic” is a producer who should be fired. Most. Obvious. Lie. Ever.
Scheme Work Makes The Dream work
Down at the pool, Hannah’s machinations are becoming a reality. She is relishing in the fact that her fake ass rumor about Luke and Lindsay is picking up steam. Hannah, sitting in the pool cackling as Lindsay’s schock over this rumor turns to anger, is disturbing. Why is Hannah able to have this much control? Pandemics are a bitch. At this point Lindsay is seething. She sees what they’re doing and she doesn’t want to be a part of it. Don’t these ladies know who she is? She’s Lindsay Muthafuckin Hubbard!
Amanda tries to calm Lindsay down but if you’ve ever seen Godzilla, you know you can’t calm an activated monster. Lindsay has every right to feel upset. As does Luke. Hannah, Paige, Amanda and to some extent Ciara, are ostracizing him. Lindsay and Danielle are the only two who will treat him as a human. It’s just a shitty thing to do. And to see Hannah take so much pride in Luke’s demise in the house is flat out creepy.
The next night the gang sets up the house for a pub crawl. Each bedroom has a different theme. It’s such a momentous night that Ciara is even cleaning up her room for it! Ciara’s room is an Atlanta theme. Lindsay is retired in Florida. Hannah and Paige represent NYC clubs. Carl is Amish PA. Luke is Minnesota, Amanda and Kyle are California and Danielle is the Hamptons. Carl was the best as not only did he dress the part, his room had hay bales in it.
Luke decides to confront Ciara on why she’s so distant. Ciara tells him that she doesn’t want to send him mixed signals. Ciara tells Luke she doesn’t like him texting her at night. Luke doesn’t see that as a big deal because he’s texting her to be nice. It seems neither one is feeling heard. Ciara says they just shouldn’t be friends as she storms out of the room. Call me cynical but it seems that once Ciara got accepted by the giggly girl squad, her use for Luke vanished. I like Ciara but if that’s the case, that’s super crappy.
Kyle notices some sparks between Ciara and Carl. Carl thinks Ciara is attractive. Luke and Lindsay go outside to talk about how they never slept together. Amanda can’t believe they would just walk out together and not expect to be noticed. Drunk Kyle says “who?” Funniest moment of the night.
The Afterglow Of Gaslighting
Kyle and Carl end up in the kitchen talking about Luke. Carl is pissed because he has had to take responsibility for his fuck boy behavior but doesn’t feel that Luke is capable of owning his. Ciara comes into the kitchen to reiterate that she doesn’t want Luke to text her after 9pm. Drunk Kyle wants Luke to admit that he likes to lead girls on. Kyle, if you’re going to try to become a feminist warrior, please refer to the over 18 females in the house WOMEN. Thank you. Also, the projection from both Kyle and Carl is glaring.
Kyle gets increasingly mad as Luke leaves the house. Luke loses it outside. The producers try to stop him as he storms back into the house. Carl, who had gone to bed, comes running out and goes after Luke. All the WOMEN are trying to hold the guys back. END SCENE. Dammit they are stretching this fight out until next week! Welp, the tooth fairy just flew in to tell me that Kyle is cheating on Amanda with Hannah, Paige and various Lover Boy cans.
I’m off to Twitter to state this as #fact. Hope y’all had a good time reading this! I’m sorry I’ve been so slow to comment on the comments. It’s been a crazy few weeks but I will get to each one I promise! I cannot thank you enough for reading/commenting. The shared love of this show (and the TamaraTattles site!) is everything. See you in the comments!