On this week’s MAFS recap we finally get the couples a therapist. Not Pastor Cal who has been less than helpful this season, but with someone who I hope has some sort of psychology degree. If she can prescribe some sort of medication for Chris, that’s all the better. What Chris needs is for Paige to have male family member come put a foot up his ass.
Virgina & Erik
I have been really anxious about my loss of password clue today. So of course the first conversations in about sharing passwords. My anxiety was so bad today that I thought I might need to go to urgent care for some Xanax. But the thought of going to a place full of sick people just made me more anxious. So I did three Sudokus, and a crossword puzzle to distract myself and that worked enough for me to be ready to recap. Back on topic I think Virginia is an idiot for offering her passwords to Erik. It will just give Erik more things to be jealous of. See ? They are arguing about it already.
Dr. Coles is happy with how things are going with these two. They seem to be doing the best of all the couples. They do both seem to have different political beliefs. Virginia is into social issues and he is more concerned with other political and military topics. This is a big problem for both of them. To me this is an age issue. Sometimes political beliefs evolve with age. Also political issues are different over time. So the time you begin to start forming political views, and the events in the forefront of the news during those years impacts your political beliefs. Also, Erik wants babies, ASAP and if Virginia doesn’t want kids, that is his dealbreaker.
Later, they do a five minute exercise where Erik says he has been cheated on in every relationship. It is a fear. That explains a lot. They really open up to each other. Virginia explains that her parents fought over visitation and custody and she doesn’t want to put a child through that. The next night, Virginia covers their bed with rose petals and snacks for a romantic evening. Erik was thrilled.
Briana & Vincent
These two are the first to meet with Dr. Coles. Apparently, we are going to rehash their arguments when Briana crosses the line with her “teasing.” Then, they talk about the salsa classes and that really seemed to embarrass Vincent as well. But somehow it’s Vincent’s fault for having a bad attitude. He did at salsa dancing lessons to a degree. But, Briana needs to bring it down a notch. Why do I keep expecting these experts to offer some meaningful contributions? I should know better by now.
Later these two play a weird game mostly about eating weird stuff.
Paige & And The POS
I cannot believe we are still doing this. It’s been two days since they decided to “reset” and the POS hasn’t spoken to her since. Because, he is a horrible person. He’s not taking her calls. He does seem to love to show up for therapy session though. And he shows up for this one. Chris plays on his phone as they sit in silence waiting for Dr. Coles. She tell Chris that she feels like he is a completely different person than the person they met at his audition. Paige talks about her high expectations and her huge disappointments. Dr. Coles wonders just like the rest of us, why is she still there. Paige says she needs more contact. Chris says his heart is just not in it. Paige is pissed again. This is all just nonsense.
After the shrink leaves, Paige tries to set a schedule with a person who is just a lump on the couch. He wants to watch action TV shows and play basketball. She wants to play cards, he does not. Did he just suggest Bible study? I can’t with this asshole. And yet, he shows up with some chicken for Bible study with Paige. Chris never wants to say the blessing. He also has nothing to contribute to Bible study. But when he does start babbling, she is literally taken notes. THEN HE SAYS HE BOUGHT THE BABY MAMA A BRAND NEW MERCEDES! I thought he was going to admit that there was no baby. I’m not sure I believe this story. Or anything that comes out of his mouth.
Clara & Ryan
The experts sent a fishbowl of questions to all the couples. Lots of them are about sex. I’m starting to think Ryan is a virgin. Oh Clara has been in a long term relationship where they rarely had sex before. This must make her a bit insecure that the problem is her. But, it’s clearly Ryan. I’m sticking to my virgin theory. Dr. Coles makes a visit to get to the bottom of this. Ryan says he just wants to build a strong foundation before having intercourse. Dr. Coles wants to speak to Clara privately. She says they do everything up to the point of intercourse. So what is the difference? Then Dr. Coles wonders aloud if Ryan is a virgin. Clara doesn’t think so.
Clara says she had never had a sexual relationship where the sex was a meaningful part of a relationship. She seems to put no particular value on sex and Ryan has a very significant value on sexual intimacy. It is very strange that Clara has no emotional attachment to sex. Right? Also, she is crying in this discussion.
Haley & Jacob
These two talk about Haley spending all night with Paige. Who does that when they are newly married? Also, I am surprised that these two had sex. Jacob feels like Haley did it in the first week out of obligation. Now she doesn’t let him even touch her. Haley says that she just doesn’t connect with Jacob. Haley feels like she is doing all the work. She is totally out of this marriage as much as she claims she is trying. The therapist wants them to kiss good morning and good night.
Dr. Coles makes a second visit to Haley. She is worried that Haley may have checked out. She went back to Haley’s questionnaire. One of the questions asked how picky she was when picking a partner. She said very picky. She went on to say that she often goes on to pick a man apart before she even gets to know him. They go back to sleeping in the same bed. She refused any touch or the prescribed good night kiss.