Can you believe it’s time again for the Summer House recap? I don’t know about y’all, but I really needed this show tonight. After last week’s tease, I am dying for the Hannah/Kyle sit down to happen! We come back to the gang doing their daily stuff. Because life is totally unfair, Ciara talks about eating all the food whilst rocking a hot pink bikini. When I say rocking I mean that she is so stunningly beautiful that this image is forever burned in my mind. She’s a nurse who works her ass off so if anyone deserves to be stunningly beautiful and eat while doing it, it’s her. I’m crying into a chocolate trifle as I type this.
Kyle decides to confront Hannah because he doesn’t like having arguments with friends. Paige, Amanda, Ciara and Danielle eavesdrop upstairs as we all would do. Kyle and Hannah sit outside and seem to have a civil enough talk. Kyle feels hurt that whenever he criticizes her, Hannah flips it and degrades his and Amanda’s relationship. Hannah says she doesn’t like the way he talks to women. Hannah tells him to stop talking to her like he was her dad. Then Hannah flips out on him and says not to bring up her dad!
She storms off leaving Kyle baffled. He never brought up her dad or her family…her overly dramatic exit made zero sense. After she calms down, Hannah calls a roommate meeting. They facetime Carl who is quarantining in his room so that he can be a part of it. Hannah apologizes for making life in the house hard, which was nice. THEN she pushes it and calls Kyle “the man” who she looks up to. Danielle, Amanda, Paige and Lindsay collectively roll their eyes. I’m pretty sure we could all smell the bullshit seeping through our tv screens, amiright? Kyle’s ego was fed so he’s content. All’s well in the Summer House. For now.
Dude, Where’s My Carl?
Carl’s covid test comes back negative so he can rejoin life in the house. Yay! He’s thrown himself into work instead of alcohol to deal with his brother’s death. Lindsay does a virtual visit with her therapist. Her therapist wants Lindsay to take the time to decide if working on things with Stephen/Stravy is worth it or not. Lindsay is terrified of being 34 and not having a stable partner. She wants control of her life but things like this she can’t control, which is a tough pill to swallow.
It’s a beach day for the gang! Except for Danielle, who actually works. Kyle works from the beach because Loverboy won’t produce itself! Now I’m going to set this next scene for you because it’s going to win an Emmy, Oscar, Golden Globe and Sag award. Picture it: our fair Lindsay looking beautiful in a sun hat, light blue button down shirt, over a pink bikini top and denim shorts. The sun is setting as the waves of the ocean break against the rocks. She calls Stephen/Stravy, who she calmly breaks up with. Stephen/Stravy puts on a brave front but alas, we hear the faint break of his heart. END SCENE.
Paige, in darker lighting, snickers that Luke and Lindsay will hook up by the end of summer. Paige is likely right but Paige is going to be pissed when she sees Linday’s breakup scene. I’m betting Paige and Perry’s breakup scene will happen with Paige in bed with piss poor lighting as she eats a Kind bar. Any takers?
Psychic Friends Network Reboot
Kyle and Amanda discuss future plans. Amanda has baby fever so she’s ready to get off birth control now. It makes sense because she’s been driving me crazy the way she’s been babying Kyle this season. As he listens to her, he slowly dies inside. He wants to wait a few years. They settle on potentially getting a dog. Hannah tells Paige that she got an Instagram message from a psychic. The psychic says that Lindsay and Luke had sex. A random Instagram psychic said two people had sex so it MUST be true! Not needing any sort of actual proof or common sense, Paige’s inner Veronica Mars is piqued. Gumshoe Paige: no work by day, languid P.I by night.
Next week on Summer House recap: Everyone gets drunk. Paige grills Luke about Lindsay. Lindsay gets upset with the girls. Hannah and Des are gross over the phone. Oooh the big fight between Kyle and Luke happens! I watched WWHL so y’all don’t have to. Andy askes Hannah pertinent questions, believe it or not! He asked her about the Instrgram psychic and she basically said she was stirring things up. He then points out that she’s marrying the older, gray haired version of Kyle.
Hannah doesn’t really answer that one. She owns not making any sense blaming Kyle for bringing up her dad when she was the one who did. Des comes on camera. Des confirms that they met 2 weeks before Summer House and they grew closer as Hannah and Luke imploded. I’m not sure what to think of Des, other than I think they are made for each other. Take that how you will 🙂 Thank you all for reading! Let’s keep this going in the comments!