For the love of all that is holy can we just get this wedding over with? It’s not going to happen on this RHOA recap, but a least we get to the wedding date. I happened to be near the site of the wedding that day as I was at my sister’s for the weekend. The weather was bad, like “remind me where we go in a tornado in this house?” bad. I was also the line with my best production sources getting the play by play about what was going on. Source said production was on site but Bravo called them off at the last minute over the weather that caused the wedding to move inside in violation of local COVID rules and production rules. Production was pissed but Bravo and local ordinances call the shots. I didn’t find all of that out until my Bravo source got back into the office later on in the week. Anyway, we have a few weeks to get into all of that.
The “Rehearsal Dinner”
We start on the Friday before the wedding, and Cynthia and her daughter, Noelle are getting a couples massage. There is nothing I would hate more than a couple’s massage. I don’t want anyone in the room to talk with just let the person rub me down in peace and quiet. God I miss massages. I can’t believe these two fools went in COVID. It looks like she is having a “rehearsal dinner” at Lake Bailey where they can neither “rehearse” or dine. So they ordered pizza. Why are all these people crammed in her house on the night before he wedding to eat Pappa John’s pizza? It is good to see Eva there. Kenya needs to shut the fuck up about Bolo. No one cares anymore.
Cynthia is unhappy with the press talking about her having a big wedding during a pandemic. Especially, Wendy Williams. She makes it seem like she took all these Covid measures. No Mam! Production paid for that and it was a big chunk of the filming budget that Bravo gave them. So that is why production was so pissed when it all got called off at the last minute by the Bravo suits. Also, girl, you deserve to be called out for having yourself a huge wedding in a pandemic. And I know Cynthia says no one one got COVID at her wedding. But if I had to bet on it, I’d bet someone did.
Oh Hey! Let’s Talk About Bolo Some More!
Drew rolls up on a dark and rainy night at Shamea’s house. What is this all about? It’s apparently a party for the “nieces” and not the aunties. The Nieces apparently think there is a city in France called “Niece” some of them don’t even know that Nice is in France. Many of the nieces at this party are way to old to be at this party and should be grouped with the aunties. Marlo (43) is there with Porsha (39 and 3/4). Only Drew, Shamea and Latoya are in their 30s. This is apparently the counterparty to the rehearsal pizza party.
Y’all I CAN.NOT recap this Bolo shit any more. This is episode THIRTEEN! We’ve been talking about this for six episodes. Latoya arrives late as usual and puts her party shirt on in front of everyone. She has some sort of tape over her tits. Then the play truth or dare Jenga where Latoya keeps hating on Drew. Because of course. Marlo does five laps around the living room with her tits out as a dare. Latoya and Porsha get into it about Latoya cooperating with Kenya to leak the fucking Bolo story. Then Latoya and Drew get into it in some sort of which of the two of us who are married did the most with the stripper? (Answer, Latoya.) Finally, everyone is turning on Latoya.
Cynthia’s Dad Cancelled On The Wedding
Cynthia’s dad didn’t want to catch the Covid. On the other hand, Cynthia’s mama seems a lot happier preparing to for this wedding than the last one! All the housewives get glammed up for the wedding. Porsha really slayed it. Drew has lost her voice (from screaming at Latoya the night before) and can’t sing at the wedding. Cynthia isn’t bothered anything that is going wrong. It is her wedding day and she seems really in love with Mike. We got limited footage from inside the wedding. But it’s enough to know that Cynthia was happy and that is all that mattered.
Cynthia looks beautiful. Mike chokes up seeing her go down the aisle. It sucks that Bravo could not film this whole thing. Thankfully, Bravo was able to get some of the footage from Cynthia’s personal videographer and others at the wedding. Now that the show has aired, this would be a good time for all the people who told me I didn’t know what I was talking about and Bravo filmed the wedding to mention that I was right AGAIN. But that never happens.
Dennis and Porsha Meet For Dinner
These two were arguing again right up to the wedding. Porsha didn’t want Dennis invited to the wedding but Cynthia already had invited him. Porsha thinks he just came to see if she had a date. I believe they were both there by themselves. Dennis says he doesn’t even know why they broke up. Porsha is worried that their daughter will have baby issues over their hostility toward each other. She wants them to just move on. But she cries. Then there is a romantic montage of these two from shady production. Porsha just want to stop the back and forth.
P.S. Did I miss the trip to NOLA? It was right before the wedding DURING a hurricane. I suppose they just didn’t get any footage. Or they did and I forgot.