For the love of all that is holy can we just get this wedding over with? It’s not going to happen on this RHOA recap, but a least we get to the wedding date. I happened to be near the site of the wedding that day as I was at my sister’s for the weekend. The weather was bad, like “remind me where we go in a tornado in this house?” bad. I was also the line with my best production sources getting the play by play about what was going on. Source said production was on site but Bravo called them off at the last minute over the weather that caused the wedding to move inside in violation of local COVID rules and production rules. Production was pissed but Bravo and local ordinances call the shots. I didn’t find all of that out until my Bravo source got back into the office later on in the week. Anyway, we have a few weeks to get into all of that.
The “Rehearsal Dinner”
We start on the Friday before the wedding, and Cynthia and her daughter, Noelle are getting a couples massage. There is nothing I would hate more than a couple’s massage. I don’t want anyone in the room to talk with just let the person rub me down in peace and quiet. God I miss massages. I can’t believe these two fools went in COVID. It looks like she is having a “rehearsal dinner” at Lake Bailey where they can neither “rehearse” or dine. So they ordered pizza. Why are all these people crammed in her house on the night before he wedding to eat Pappa John’s pizza? It is good to see Eva there. Kenya needs to shut the fuck up about Bolo. No one cares anymore.
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Cynthia is unhappy with the press talking about her having a big wedding during a pandemic. Especially, Wendy Williams. She makes it seem like she took all these Covid measures. No Mam! Production paid for that and it was a big chunk of the filming budget that Bravo gave them. So that is why production was so pissed when it all got called off at the last minute by the Bravo suits. Also, girl, you deserve to be called out for having yourself a huge wedding in a pandemic. And I know Cynthia says no one one got COVID at her wedding. But if I had to bet on it, I’d bet someone did.
Oh Hey! Let’s Talk About Bolo Some More!
Drew rolls up on a dark and rainy night at Shamea’s house. What is this all about? It’s apparently a party for the “nieces” and not the aunties. The Nieces apparently think there is a city in France called “Niece” some of them don’t even know that Nice is in France. Many of the nieces at this party are way to old to be at this party and should be grouped with the aunties. Marlo (43) is there with Porsha (39 and 3/4). Only Drew, Shamea and Latoya are in their 30s. This is apparently the counterparty to the rehearsal pizza party.
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Y’all I CAN.NOT recap this Bolo shit any more. This is episode THIRTEEN! We’ve been talking about this for six episodes. Latoya arrives late as usual and puts her party shirt on in front of everyone. She has some sort of tape over her tits. Then the play truth or dare Jenga where Latoya keeps hating on Drew. Because of course. Marlo does five laps around the living room with her tits out as a dare. Latoya and Porsha get into it about Latoya cooperating with Kenya to leak the fucking Bolo story. Then Latoya and Drew get into it in some sort of which of the two of us who are married did the most with the stripper? (Answer, Latoya.) Finally, everyone is turning on Latoya.
Cynthia’s Dad Cancelled On The Wedding
Cynthia’s dad didn’t want to catch the Covid. On the other hand, Cynthia’s mama seems a lot happier preparing to for this wedding than the last one! All the housewives get glammed up for the wedding. Porsha really slayed it. Drew has lost her voice (from screaming at Latoya the night before) and can’t sing at the wedding. Cynthia isn’t bothered anything that is going wrong. It is her wedding day and she seems really in love with Mike. We got limited footage from inside the wedding. But it’s enough to know that Cynthia was happy and that is all that mattered.
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Cynthia looks beautiful. Mike chokes up seeing her go down the aisle. It sucks that Bravo could not film this whole thing. Thankfully, Bravo was able to get some of the footage from Cynthia’s personal videographer and others at the wedding. Now that the show has aired, this would be a good time for all the people who told me I didn’t know what I was talking about and Bravo filmed the wedding to mention that I was right AGAIN. But that never happens.
Dennis and Porsha Meet For Dinner
These two were arguing again right up to the wedding. Porsha didn’t want Dennis invited to the wedding but Cynthia already had invited him. Porsha thinks he just came to see if she had a date. I believe they were both there by themselves. Dennis says he doesn’t even know why they broke up. Porsha is worried that their daughter will have baby issues over their hostility toward each other. She wants them to just move on. But she cries. Then there is a romantic montage of these two from shady production. Porsha just want to stop the back and forth.
P.S. Did I miss the trip to NOLA? It was right before the wedding DURING a hurricane. I suppose they just didn’t get any footage. Or they did and I forgot.
TT I had no doubt in my mind that you were correct about Cynthia’s wedding and all that went with it. My daughter, who isn’t really a Houswives fan knows enough about the shows to chat about them. She’ll say to me sometimes “oh did you hear about ________ <—insert any Housewife drama you choose". She tells me about it and I say "did you read that tom Tamara Tattles"?? When she says no I always tell her that unless I read something here I don't believe it. I started reading here when you covered Jodi Arias and have been here everyday since. I'm not a big time commenter at all, just know I'm in the back row waving hi!
LOL at Skeeter saying she is not a “Big Time Commenter.” They don’t come much bigger than you! xo ~tt
I don’t understand why Kenya is so bothered about what did or didn’t happen in S.C. She acts like she is SO offended because her daughter was there, but she KNEW that Kandi was planning the bachelorette party. I think it just gives her something to complain about. Porsha is single; why does she care what or who she did? I have never disliked Kenya more.
Amen to that. She is miserable and takes it out on everyone else.
You’re the one that’s miserable
I think she’s trying to be relevant so she’s invited back next year.
Who are you mad at, Jo?
I agree that it was totally irresponsible that Cynthia to have her large COVID wedding. With that said, people who are not getting married or don’t work in the industry don’t understand how it really goes…I’ve been in the industry for 5 years now.
Every vendor has a bad weather clause. So rain, no rain, hail…the wedding must go on bc no one is refunding any money. Even if the venue gets struck by lightning and set on fire, there are no refunds.
Texas, my home state, has been having large, mostly maskless, weddings since June 2020 (go figure why we’re a COVID hotspot). Brides dgaf. They want their wedding and they’re gonna have it no matter what.
Wedding venues skirt local ordinances by using “property capacities” vs the indoor capacities set by the fire marshall. So, if a wedding venue has 100 capacity indoors, but outside can technically fit 100 more, then the total venue capacity is 200 and even at 50% capacity restrictions…people have been having 100 person weddings indoors legally. This is totally irresponsible, but none of the local ordinances are written detailed enough to curtail this.
Lastly, the MASKS. Texas cities for the most part determined back in June 2020 that wedding venues are “private property” and not “businesses open to the public”. So mask mandates by the cities do not apply.
So yes, 100% irresponsible. But Cynthia is being crucified for stuff that literally every bride in many states has been doing since the Summer of last year. Our idiot Governor just lifted the mask mandate in the whole state…so this is not going away soon.
My daughter is getting married in San Antonio this weekend. 10 people and masks. Not the wedding we ever thought we would plan but it will still be nice and get the job done
ItsyBitsy, I love your insider information. But the rest of us can still think Cynthia is an idiot for going through it.
On personal note, I had a family member get married during the pandemic. I have no idea how many guests were invited, but I REALLY wanted a reason to stay in the extremely expensive place they go married. That was on a beach. I REALLY WANTED TO. But oh hell no. So I sent an expensive gift instead. It’s not just the the lovestruck couple that is to blame, it is the idiots who show up. I kind of image that wedding would have been outside, on the water, and gorgeous. But I didn’t want to go to any receptions or other things I would have been expected to go to. Or you know, pay an INSANE AMOUNT to hang out with relatives. And if Banjo can’t go, I can’t go.
Oh and Texas is fucked. STAY HOME WEAR A MASK COVID IS ABOUT TO EAT THAT STATE.
Oh it’s clear no one in Texas OF ALL PLACES! wants to die. We are really going to miss you, IstsyBitsy .
I feel like we need one of those brick walls and someone needs to buy one for ItsyBitsy.
Apparently, I am losing posters (this is according to Twitter). And sadly, I am. I’m trying not to annouce every death.
Cynthia and Mike deserve to be happy: I certainly hope this one lasts for both of them. Their blended family is truly precious.
LaToya is a trouble maker. I can almost see the wheels turning behind her eyes: what can I do to get on TV????
I love Marlo. She is just the right amount of everything. Shade. Tits. Fashion. Beauty. Adopting/caretaking her nephews. She delivers.
Mike is controlling so I doubt that marriage will last long term. One thing seems sure though, Cynthia does seem to have a predilection for guys with that type of mindset.
Great recap especially since I keep screaming Kenya…. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT about who did what at the Bolo party! LET IT GO….and when Kandi asked her why, Kenya never really answered her.
And did anyone notice the woman who got up to embrace Cynthia when she came down the aisle near Mike…chyron said “Barbara, Cynthia’s Mother”
Who’s that?
It was Barbara, Cynthia’s mother. 😊 she has aged a bit. Still gorgeous. Those bones!
In the scene where porsha greets Cynthia, is Noelle pregggers? I watched twice.
Popping on to say mostly lurking but sometimes posting. I loved Porsha’s hair in her talking head! Adored the Josephine Baker short cut!
Porsha actually shaved her entire head. That is usually not a good sign for a woman. But she rocks the short hair and I guess it makes it easier to wear wigs. But I LOVE her in the short cut.
I have attended non-pandemic indoor weddings that were more socially distanced than this, just no. Happy for Cynthia though; may she be more compatible with Mike than she was with her dress.
Also, I’m not a fan of the sex shaming hill Kenya has chosen to die on all by herself, but now I understand her reasoning a bit better. Other than the fact that all of this would’ve leaked anyway, indeed some of the girls would’ve thrown a parade had it been Kenya on Bolo’s dick. Case in point being Porsha saying in her confessional that Latoya is lucky that she is nice because she sure has all the ammo to put HER on blast.
Love the recap!
Latoya…… that girl is trouble. She sucked up to Kenya in the beginning, and now wants to be Porshas friend too?
“Kenya, you in Danger girl” – in a Whoopi Goldberg voice
Latoya is looking out for herself, she is no true friend.
Not a huge fan of “friends” leaking private information for extra camera time in attempts to buddy up to a new potential friend.
Anybody else notice how Porsha and Latoya look at each other? Like they both know what went down (Bolo), they are both guilty, but they are in agreement that they are keeping their mouths shut? Am I the only one picking up on their behavior towards each other? The side eyes, guilty glances?
NOLA happened after the wedding. The second group trip. There was a storm coming then too. They will have more discussion about BOLO.
TT. Do you know? Is Noelle pregnant?
This is the first I have heard. Last I heard she was in a same sex relationship that would mean she’s not pregnant. But I have no idea.
Thank you. I thought I saw a bump. I figured you would know.
Hey TT I was wondering if you saw the article in Variety today that Porsha has just signed with UTA.