Below Deck Sailing Yacht Recap: Nookie Mistake

So sorry for the delay in this Below Deck Sailing Yacht recap. The comments sections have taken up a lot of time this week. Lots of comments and we all sort of cranky. I’m feeling a lot less bitchy today, so hopefully the temperature in the comments sections will decrease as well as the melodramatic, “I’m living this site forever!” Nonsense. 🙂 Now let’s go see if Jean-Luc can find the two charter guests he lost!

Oh Yes It’s 80s Night! Oh What A Night!

I can’t believe Jean Luc managed to lose two guests on the first day of charter. That’s a new one! They have been missing for an hour and a half! That is not good! Jean-Luc finally finds them stranded on the shore. They were apparently, “hiking.” Where are the paddle boards? Wait? Are they paddle boarding back? Did he take them to their boards? Why not put them all in the boat with the boards? This makes no sense. Oh I rewound. The morons wanted to paddle back.

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It’s 80s night on Parsifal III and the guests are all still stuck eating vegan because of the primary. While Natasha goes all out for the guests with her chef skills. She is feeding the team ….whatever. Tonight they had hamburgers in hot dog buns. And she basically told the guys to shut up and be grateful they have something to eat. The guests and crew have all gone all out with their wigs and costumes. Alli is trying to get the guest cabins flipped in an hour during dinner. These guests seem rather messy and Alli is overwhelmed. It seems like production is setting her up to fail. Sure enough the guests want to go to bed at 9:45 and she is not quite finished. This is so fake. No one goes on a fancy sailing yacht to crash in their rooms before 10 p.m. NO. BOD.Y.

Who Does That?

Why doesn’t another stew go down to help her? Gary is already trying to figure out which female crew member to screw first. Jean-Luc is still sleep deprived. He also doesn’t seem to know where anything is stored on deck. So he wakes up Gary to help him find the cushion covers. Who does that? Oh the girls hid the covers in the bilge. Again, who does that? Natasha tells Colin the story of her life and she has had a very tragic life. It’s amazing how far she has come. I love that she feels comfortable telling Colin why some perceive her as a bitch. It’s a protective mechanism. Then she seems to like to Daisy about how much pita bread she made. It looks delicious, I can see why the guests would want more fresh homemade pita.

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This episode is making me starving. I overcooked my dinner so I let Banjo have it. And I am pressed on time to get to the Dallas recap. Alli is getting the usual horrible edit they give to the third stew. I love that Captain Glenn lets the guest take the wheel. The staff does not appreciate the heavy keeling. The guests cry when they leave they are so pleased. They left a very large envelope for the crew. The tip was $22,500. They get $2,500 each. Later, Gary offers his bed to Jean-Luc because it is a couple of inches longer. Jean-Luc refuses to take it because he doesn’t want to sleep in the same cabin with Captain Glenn. WTF?

Party On The Parsifal III

The crew is not given shore leave for some reason. But, Captain Glenn gives them the run of the boat and pays for catered food. They are also doing a lot of drinking. Gary still hasn’t decided to sleep with first. Alli is embarrassed to be in a swimsuit because she not a size zero. She’s maybe a four. I predict Gary will go for that long hanging fruit. Jean Luc needs to get out of the hot tub before he drowns. He is SUPER drunk. Sydney starts making out with one of the stews. Gary kisses Alli. Natasha announces she has not had sex for five years. Dani and Alli make out.

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Gary and Sydney look like they are going to hook up. The worst possible choice since they are both deckies. They are all over each other in front of everyone. Everyone, especially Natasha thinks this is a terrible idea since he is her superior. Jean-Luc is sick as a dog. He drank an entire bottle of Jack Daniels. This is not a good sign. This is probably why he doesn’t want to bunk with the captain. Sydney and Gary go to a guest room to have sex. First, Sydney announces that she is the hottest girl on board with her hair a total mess and looking like something the cat dragged in. Sydney asks Gary why she fucking likes him. He says, “This is not going to be a seasonal thing. It’s going to be a one night stand.” She responds, “I know.”

Next week: Gary and Sydney pay the price for their hookup. Someone gets very sick and the doctor comes in head to toe PPE. Also the guests look like dicks.