I don’t usually recap The Bachelor but I do watch it. I don’t recap because it is ALWAYS spoiled before it airs and I don’t see the fun in that But now that we are down to three, and I have seen two different ways this has supposedly worked out, I hope can get a little bit of feedback from those of you who watch without getting spoiled. Or respoiled. So please no spoilers in comments. I promise will get to Below Deck Sailing Yacht as soon as possible. I’ve been SUPER bitchy the past couple days. I don’t know what is wrong with me, even Banjo is pissing me the fuck off.
Michelle Young AKA The Bachelor’s First Option
Contestant #1 Michelle. Frankly I can never remember these people’s names. I think she is the teacher from somewhere cold. Michigan? Minnesota? Somewhere. BTW, the episodes I’ve seen, Matt tells them all he loves them and sees a life for them. Anyway Michelle gets the first bang card. Her date is a a “Pennsylvania Dutch Sauna.” Yeah I don’t know either. But they enjoyed it. I like Matt but I am a sucker. Because every woman he is with he acts like she is the most amazing person on the planet. Almost every one. So who can believe him. It now seems like he’s just learned how to be charming. But, it’s not genuine. And after that producer driven conversation with his dad, I don’t think he is ready to be married.
Michelle tells Matt that she is in love with him when they are in the bang shack. I’m guessing he banged them all. So this is ridiculous.
Bri Springs AKA The Bachelor’s Second Option
Contestant #2 is Bri. I don’t remember much about her at the moment. She seems great and very beautiful. Bri is up next for the bang card. I kind of think she is the best choice. That means she is doomed. While I’ve been accidently spoiled on this show. I’ve been accidentally spoiled TWICE so that makes me unspoiled again. YAY! That said I don’t think he picks Bri. And she would have been a great match for him. But the thing about Matt is he makes ALL OF THEM feel confident they are picking him. At least they give them all different bang beds.
Rachael Kirkconnell AKA The Bachelor’s 3rd Option
You would have to be living under a rock not to have heard about her. Everyone wants her cancelled (despite decisions being made and filming long over) for being a racist. Maybe I haven’t seen everything and should not be wading into this pool at all but here I go. The big fucking deal is that when she was in college at Georgia College in Milledgeville, Georgia, her sorority, Alpha Delta Pi had an antebellum night where all the girls got dressed up in hoop skirts and giant hats and had a party on a “plantation.” Milledgeville is known for having the most plantations in the state of GA. It was temporarily a state capitol in the 1800s.
DOES NO ONE REMEMBER SORORITY HOUSES IN COLLEGE?
Every sorority house in the south has a dress up in “Southern Belle” dresses event. No girl is thinking “Wow, I can’t run for president or win The Bachelor if I put this ridiculous get up on and go fuck some sorority boys.” They are dumb sorority girls out of their mama and daddy’s house for the first time. They are not thinking about slavery or the civil war! They are going out to get laid. Period. There are no confederate flags. No politics goes through their pea brains. They want to get drunk and screw. End of story.
I have however pointed out the insanity and lack of knowledge people like Phaedra Parks a grown ass black woman with a law degree repeatedly referring to herself as a Southern Belle. She should know better. Sorry Rant over. I just hate that this young women is being dragged for going to a party in a fugly dress with her girlfriends. It doesn’t mean I like her. It just means, for fuck sake give her a break. Chris Harrison is on “hiatus” for saying what most people were already thinking. But he just did it in a really poor way. I’ll shut up about that now.
The Bang Card
I just do see what he sees in this one. I forget where he is from and she is a typical Georgia sorority girl. NTTAWWT. I’m just saying they never seemed like a match to me. Their date is making pottery on a wheel and of course the instructor is making it about relationships. You need a strong foundation and put a finger in the whole. She freaks out and calls him outside to talk. Boo Hoo she could not get over what she signed up for. She confronts him about using his other bang cards. Did he just say there are two weeks left? Oh Lord this is going to screw up so much in my DVR.
Matt makes a huge thing out of the she almost died skydiving thing. And tells her he is falling in love with her. UGH. These two got a cottage instead of a hotel room? This girl annoys the piss out of me. I think it is just because she is very young. Maybe they were all cottages.
The reason I even recapped this is because I mistakenly thought it was proposal night. OOPs. We just get to the final two. Sorry Below Deck peeps. I will get to it ASAP. Anyway, I feel like Racheal should have gone home tonight. Bri is my front runner. With Michelle a very close second. Someone is going to be devastated. Of course he sends Bri home. Because he is an idiot. I wish she would have just said, “I’d rather walk out alone.”
Next week is the finale. So, I think and I can get back on the Bravo teat with the rest of you soon. But there will not doubt be one more week after that.