After watching this week’s episode of New Amsterdam, I need a mental health break. And the stupidity of a Floribama Shore recap is just the ticket. Let’s see what these morons do next. We begin with Nilsa’s pregnancy announcement. Everyone is really happy about it. Like REALLY HAPPY. Except for Gus 1.0 who realizes he is not going to get any more Nilsa Nookie. Gus is not himself this season. He’s super emotional and really quick to anger.
Well the party is official. Cody has put on his blue jean speedo, boots and a cowboy hat and they are getting in the hot tub. Gus is still whining about the breakup of his bromance with Jeremiah. Then Jeremiah gets in the hot tub and the two former bros are about to hash it out. Everyone else gets out of the hot tub. After grabbing some pizza, the whole house is hanging out by the balconies to hang on every word. The conversation was, “bro, bro, I treated you like a brother….” “Bro, Bro, Bro your boat or something.” For over an hour.
The Drunken Olympics
The next day we finally get to their stupid ways. They all spray wolf urine all around the house to ward off the bears. Then of course the spray each other. And Cody pukes. Meanwhile, I had cornish hen that absolutely had to be cooked today. I didn’t feel like doing it so I did a really half assed job with it and shoved it in the oven. It smells delicious! There is flip cup, cornhole, drunken spinning with drinking and more. LOL. The Hoes won.
After drinking, comes fighting. It’s just a matter of time. At dinner, Gus asks for relationship advice from the girls. Gus is 25 and desperate for a wife. For some reason they have to take shots of Hennessy, vinegar, mayonnaise and pickle relish. Of course they all puke. Everywhere. Cody goes to take a bubble bath. As Cody tries to do sexy poses for Instagram, all I care about it the fact there are glass vases on the edge of the bathtub.
Gus Is An Emotional Basket Case
Gus, dude you are being paid a lot of money to go on a lovely vacation in Montana. You need to take a chill pill and stop obsessing over things that happened in previous season. Be. Here. Now. Dude. Just be present in your current situation that is quite lovely. The group decides to go ice skating. This will not end well. As Amy points out, she can’t even walk without falling. The views on this show are AMAZING. The guys are a bit better at skating than the girls. Nilsa sits in the announcer booth and does commentary because she is pregnant.
Everyone is having a great time and it’s time for a beer break. So of course, Gloomy Gus wants to rehash something Nilsa said about him cheating on his girlfriend from last season. WHY? No on wants to hash out problems right now! Gus has a fit and runs off from the group. So, Kirk goes after him. Nilsa tries to apologize to Gus again, but he can’t stop being pissed off. Everybody screams a whole lot of fuck yous to each other. This was not the funny stupid shit I was hoping for tonight.