Of all the housewives shows on Bravo, RHONJ seems to have the men in the forefront more than any others. Joe Gorga and Frank Catania are practically housewives themselves. It appears that this RHONJ recap is going to be focused on the men. This is only episode three and I feel like so much has happened already. Will Jackie and Teresa finally come fact to face again? Let’s get to it!
I’ve always wanted to try fake eyelashes. I’m just not sure I could do it. And really no one would see them except the guy at the smokes and beer store. LOL. Anyway, the feud with Jackie and Teresa continues even thought Jackie is not on the trip. Those sausages look so good! Is it me or is Dolores and Teresa wa weird color? Melissa tries to squash the issue between Jackie and Tersesa because they all know Teresa is too dumb to comprehend the situation. Teresa is very into tequila shots lately. That is new. She is also feeding Dolores from her mouth. That’s weird, right?
Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby
Teresa is selling the New Jersey monstrosity that is her house. Her agent calls while they are at lunch at an outdoor restaurant on Lake George. I’m starving for coconut shrimp and crab cakes. I have a pot pie in the oven that is going to take over an hour to cook. Melissa announces that Antonia has boyfriend she has been with since eighth grade. Melissa loves the boyfriend and he seems like a nice guy. She’s just worried that she might be thinking of having sex. She wants to have the talk with Antonia. It’s probably a bit late for that. Melissa seems to be worried about Joe cheating while she is away.
Lake George is beautiful! They ladies get on a floating Tiki bar. This will not end well. Let the drinking begin. I should point out that it is noon. For some reason that escapes me. Dolores decides that Teresa needs to call her brother and tell her that Melissa has been texting with a guy all day. On what planet is this a good idea? How is Jennifer the voice of reason? Melissa feels bad already. I don’t see how this is funny. Then Melissa gets mad because he believes Teresa. Teresa is a good liar. Then she tells him that he’s been punked. Everyone passes out on the van ride home.
Rosé All Day
Back at the house everyone is shitfaced. So why not just keep drinking? At least they switch to rosé. Then, Melissa exposes Margaret’s new boobs. Has Margaret had face work done because she doesn’t even look like herself in this photo! They decide to order sushi for dinner. Meanwhile, Jennifer tells Dolores that Joe Gorga owes one of her friends tens of thousands of dollars. Joe does post lies about his renovations online. The guy he owes money to, was someone who introduced him at some sort of speaking engagement. Jennifer is torn over whether to tell Melissa about what is being said about Joe.
Back in Jersey, Bill Aydin, Joe Gorga, Frank Catania and Margaret’s husband, Joe Benigno get together for a boys night. They all seem thrilled to have four days away from their spouses. They are also eating bait, um, I mean sushi with lots of wasabi. Then it is time for poker. This looks like a lot more fun than the girls are having. The guys all talk about the rumors about Jackie’s husband. Margaret’s Joe says he has heard the same rumor about Evan. The guys basically don’t know what to believe.
Teresa Blows Her … CAT scan?
All the girls except Teresa are missing Jackie on the trip so Margaret and Melissa call her to let her know they are thinking of her. She says that Evan is very upset over the gossip and how it will affect his professional reputation. Jackie wants Teresa to call Evan and apologize for starting a bullshit rumor. Melissa tries to get Jackie to apologize to Teresa for the analogy she used about Gia. She is not willing to do that.
Melissa and Margaret try to get through to Teresa by bringing up her over the top reaction to rumors of Joe cheating on her. Those rumors were actually true! And Teresa is now rewriting history to say she didn’t care about the rumors because she was secure in her marriage. Production rolls the tape. Does she not get that she is being filmed? Everyone tries to get Teresa to apologize. So she threw a hissyfit and tells them all to go fuckthemselves. She will talk to Jackie’s husband if she apologizes for what she said about Gia. No one is going to budge on this issue. Melissa goes to talk to Teresa. Then Dolores goes to talk to her soon.
Someone gave them all tie dyed hoodies. I could really use one of those. I have two hoodies that I live in and they are both filthy dirty and I haven’t taken clothes to the wash and fold since the pandemic began. They are all doing hoodies wrong. They need to be like three sizes too big. They finally all bond over S’mores and wine by the outdoor fireplace. Then they all hear an animal noise, and Teresa and Dolores decide to feed the paranoia my screaming and running in the house. Melissa even throws her wine glass. That is what we call a party foul.
Sorry for the delay, I was busy drunk dialing Nanette and the fiancé and time got away from me.