ALERT THIS EPISODE WAS NEARLY impossible for me to RECAP DUE TO TECH PROBLEMS. It’s time for part two of the of the reunion and the penultimate RHOSLC recap of the season. This season has been interesting. As things stand now the entire cast will be coming back for season two. Maybe they will actually furnish their houses and actually live in them next season. Perhaps they can spend the hiatus getting to know each other. Something needs to happen to bring some semblance of reality to this franchise. Let’s get straight to the arguing.
We start with Mary who is asked “by a viewer” why she had her sweat glands removed she appears to be making up a condition now. If she had a condition at all it would be hyperhidrosis a condition that means you sweat like a pig. I just think she wanted to have the procedure. Most of the body’s sweat glands (she keeps calling them odor glands) are in the soles of your feet, the palms of your hand, armpits and groin. It doesn’t cause giant boils over 70% of your body. Andy isn’t buying it either. Heather asks if you can remove your “odor glands” just so you don’t have body odor. Mary says no. The correct answer is yes. Mary is a terrible liar. Andy says, “so your odor glands were removed but your sense of smell is very strong,” after a ludicrous discussion about “hospital smell.
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Then there was a lot of discussion about buttkissing and fear of loiters outside 7-11. Then Mary randomly says “her taste is not for black guys.” Okay, it is not really going to be all my fault that this recap doesn’t make sense. True, I am falling asleep, but Mary makes no sense at all. She’s rambling about her taste is for white men. Girl, you’re married. Mary has so much self-hatred that she had her whole body lightened 15 shaded, got a nose job and a blonde wig while she was in NYC getting her glands removed. What she was trying to remove is her blackness. She’s also a colorist. Andy brings up internal racism. Mary asks Jen if her husband is a racist.
Jen Is a Buttkisser
Jen apologizes for calling Mary a grandpa fucker. This is like a kindergarten recess. I have had too much coffee and keep having to make a run for the bathroom every five minutes. But, hey, I’m awake now just in time for an EAS. This caused me to lose my place on the DVR so I’m probably going to have to shelve this until the 12:30 reairing. My tummy will probably keep me up anyway.
AT THIS POINT, THINGS WENT BATSHIT IN THE US
I LOST CABLE! So I need to try to pick it up from here.
I came back to Whitney and Heather and Meredith talking about how horribly Jen treated them on social media. Heather seems to think that Lisa is the queen bee and influences Jen to be the asshole on social media there she won’t be held accountable. Lisa basically gives Heather the “I don’t know her” treatment. Andy points out that Lisa recommended Heather to the show then claimed she didn’t know her when Jen asked. Lisa and Jen are also feeding information to the blogs. Whitney says that Lisa has never thought she was good enough to be there and she talks down to her all the time.
Mary is a total Racist. TOTALLY SHE HATES BLACK PEOPLE.
After several minutes of crazy screaming and crying, Lisa decides she’s the victim and not the bully and dashes off the stage looking for her husband to give her a hug. What is the word for when white people dare to wear braids? This bitch had her skin bleached 19 ways from Sunday , fucks (allegedly, because he probably can’t get it up). Then she calls her black husband WHITE? I don’t even want to deal with this stupidity on my site. I can breathe. Let’s pretend she never said that. Her black husband is white? And she follows that up with “Well he’s light,.” This sort of makes me want to vomit. And they are bringing everyone back next year. I feel like she had him bleached when she was bleached.
I have to tell you the truth, it’s been a hard day for me. And watching this shit is probably one of the stupidest things I do. And I’m old and have done a LOT of stupid things. But this is … I would normally stick with my age group and say a word I’m told we can’t say anymore. But let’s just say ridiculous since we can’t say the other R word anymore.
All shit is breaking lose. And sadly, it is over MARY THE CULT LEADER. I hope Mary FINALLY GOES TO JAIL. It’s late and I do not feel like recapping this word for word. Back to Mary and why she is a grandpa fucker. It’s so stupid. Mary is a weirdo. I can’t recap this anymore. Mary says they have separate beds. Then she cries about how he pays for all her shit . Okay I can’t with this bitch and her bizarre interpolation of what God said. This cunt is ALLEGEDLY stealing from a congregation to buy her designer shit?
I think that having a cult leader on Bravo may be a problem. For me. Is it for you?