The big question I have going into this Below Deck recap is are the finally going to fire Elizabeth? The episode summary for this episode literally says, “Elizabeth spends the charter focusing on James instead of her job.” You know, just like every other episode. There is also a mention of Ashling’s “little white lie” catching up to her. Did I miss that on a previous episode? Let’s get right to it because Bravo is screwing up my DVR again by forcing me to tape for two hours. I think I have it all straightened out now but I wish there was a way to stop a recording earlier.
Oh Lord, is the Queen of Versailles and her brood on this episode. Le sigh. We left off with the drunk, entitled, white boys. Oh Ashling’s little white lie might have to do with cutting off the children. Ashling is worried she is going to be in trouble and probably ruined their tips. Newsflash these people are HORRIBLE tippers as we found out the last time they were on the show. Anyway, Elizabeth is still whining about James not acknowledging her 30th birthday.
Speaking of Douchebags…
On of the entitled brats whines to mommy and daddy about being cut off at the bar after drinking “half a bottle of Hennessey.” He actually drank an entire bottle of Hennessey. Apparently, Ashling’s white lie was when she told the drunk child that the hot tub wasn’t open. He’s complaining like his whole charter was ruined. Francesca has Ashling’s back. Francesca and Ashling are going on the picnic on the shore leaving Liz on the boat to pretend to work. I literally want to drown all these charter guests. Apparently, Covid is a hoax to keep Trump from getting re-elected.
James and Elizabeth are the only two on the boat. Elizabeth continues to whine about her birthday. The bratty children complain about a two hour car ride to see the stingrays when Daddy could by Sea World if he wanted to. I hate these people. Did I mention that? Meanwhile, Captain Lee is pissed that the galley if full of dirty dishes and Elizabeth is not doing what she needs to do. He literally has to tell her to do the dishes. Then she asks if she could go down the slide. WOW. The asshole children are begging for booze. I hope they don’t end up like their sister. There is something going on with these too beyond just being entitled douchebags. Even the stingrays don’t like these people. They know.
Even More Douchebaggery
Rob seemed like a good guy at first. But he also a douchebag. Rachel is not handling the on shore food service well. It seems like she forgot the condiments. Somehow, Francesca was supposed to handle that? Rachel tells Francesca that she is really horrible at her job. Maybe, if it is her job to anticipate what condiments you will need for your food. You packed the food. How was she supposed to know you wouldn’t bother to pack the condiments. Oh apparently, Rachel did pass of that duty to Francesca. Food is HER job. There is a commercial with fresh guacamole being made. Can one of you deliver that to my house right now? Please and thank you.
Iggy saves the day by getting them ketchup. Jackie wants a tortoise and so do I. At this point I feel the need to share my childhood trauma with you. When I lived in Libya, my brother was at boarding school in Switzerland (yet he still seems to think I am the most spoiled). At some point he brought home a turtle (tortoise) and painted it red white and blue. Then he left it and went back to school. SO IT WAS MY FUCKING TURTLE! (can you see that there were many arguments about whose turtle it was)? My mama was the go outside and watch the ants or the grass grow or something and don’t come back until dinner type of mama. So I spent a lot of time talking to Myrtle.
Until one day Myrtle was gone. My parents explained that Myrtle ran away. Um, we lived behind walls in a villa. Flash forward a few decades and I learned at the Thanksgiving table that Daddy accidentally killed Myrtle with a fucking lawnmower!!! AND IT WAS AN OLD FASHIONED PUSH MOWER. Excuse me. I need to call my therapist again.
It’s Not About The Ketchup!
Sorry back to the show. The day trip is over and Captain Lee has to check on Elizabeth to see if she got the galley cleaned. Rachel overexplains to Francesca how to do service. Izzy tells Eddie that that Rob and James are being total douchebags. She asks for his advice on how to deal with men that can’t deal with a woman boss. As if he would be of any help. But I get it. She has to have someone to talk to. Eddie is actually very supportive.
Oh Lord, Captain Lee is invited to dinner again. Jackie gives all the female crew crowns. During dinner service, Elizabeth is begging James to love her. It’s just sad and embarrassing. Everyone is killing themselves with service and Elizabeth is just chatting with James. I’d want to drown her if I was Francesca. Deck crew has to come up and help with dishes. Elizabeth has to get fired now. Right? Francesca finally has to just break them up. Yay! The Weakest Link And the The Bachelor are both recording which is good because I got very behind her telling my traumatic childhood stories. lol. Sorry.
French Toast With Bacon
I am starving to death and have PF Chang Drunken noodles all ready to eat when I get finished. But I’d really like to be on a mega yacht eating French toast and bacon with whipped cream if someone could arrange that for me. 🙂 The charter guests leave please. Did Captain Lee say that they left everyone $18,500 each? I think he means total. They are notoriously bad tippers. OH YES! They are ready to fire Elizabeth. YAY! She’s fired. And BOO! Next week is the season finale. I will miss this show.
I’m going to recap WWHL with Ashling and Elizabeth in comments.