MAFS Australia Recap: The First Four Weddings

I am ill-prepared for this MAFS Australia recap because it is hard to pull photos or figure out the names of the couples without getting spoiled since the season has already aired in Australia. I’m going to just sort of try it out as I go along and hope for the best.

Jules and Cameron

Jules is a 36 year old successful business owner in Sydney. She’s a hair and makeup stylist. She was devastated when her last relationship ended because he did not want children. She really wants to have kids and her clock is ticking. And I am already spoiled on this couple dammit. Cam is a professional cricket player. Because of all of his travel with work he hasn’t gotten married and really wants to be a father. His love for the game caused the end of a six year relationship he calls the love of his life.

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Jules family is worried about her getting hurt by agreeing to be married at first sight. At the wedding, Cam stops to assure Jules mother than he has the best of intentions. It was sweet. Did they tell us how old Cam is? He looks a bit younger than Jules. They are both extremely happy with what they see. That is always a good start. Is it love at first sight? It seems like it! Jules mom is happy.

The Reception

Just as they were to start their first dance, the sound system malfunctioned. This left them standing alone on the dance floor in front of everyone. The two of them just started dancing without music while Cam told Jules to pretend that no one else is there. Then everyone came up to dance with no music. It was sweet. Then they were off to their honeymoon suite. I think the magic is going to happen.

Cyrell and Nic

Nic has overcome a battle with cancer. He is healthy now and super in shape. He’s an electrician, a homeowner, and loves to travel. Nic needs someone with a positive attitude. Cyrell is a 29 year old Healthcare consultant from New South Wales. She is beautiful, bubbly and confident. She’s Pilipino. She still lives with her parents. She is the youngest of seven kids.  Nic mother is totally fine with him getting married at first sight. But Cyrell is terrified to tell her mother and the rest of the family. The family is not happy at all. Her favorite brother, Ivan, is pissed that he didn’t know anything about it. There is a lot of yelling and screaming. Cyrell sobs. Ivan shows up to see her try on her wedding gown so all is forgiven. Sort of.

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Unlike the first wedding, this one seems more fraught with emotion. Nic is utterly terrified. Cyrell seems to be questioning the whole thing. Neither of them seem excited about what is about to happen. Ivan stalked in late and sat on the front row staring Nic down. Cyrell is worried about Ivan ruining her wedding. Then things start to get a big more light-hearted. Cyrell talks a lot. She’s funny. Oh Lord they asked if anyone objects. All eyes are on Ivan. He sort of almost does. Then doesn’t. Cyrell wrote a silly poem. His vows are silly too. This could work.

The Reception

Ivan is still being a dick at the reception. He finally pulls Nic away to talk privately. Ivan basically threatens Nic. Nic says he has never been in love. His longest relationship was probably a year. Then he got sick. Ivan mocks that response thinking he was talking about the flu or something. What is everyone’s obsession with the flu these days? Ivan is an asshole with bloodshot eyes. Later the couple heads to their honeymoon suite. Finally she gets to be alone with her husband. She is very aggressive about getting him into bed.

Jessika & Mick

Jessika is a 27 year old executive administrator from Perth. She has a business degree and models part time. She’s also into rock climbing. She is looking for a guy who takes her seriously and doesn’t just see her as an accessory. She says she tends to attract superficial people. The experts match her up with Mick who is 31 and… um…sheep farmer? This is sort of a weird pairing. But who knows? Jessika is hoping for a guy with a big family. Do sheep count?

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As Mick nervously walks down the aisle, one of her bridesmaids whispers, “Oh God, she won’t like him.” And he overhears and replies with, “Sorry to disappoint already.” How awful! Mick is really funny. Although Mick is not Jessika’s type physically, she is very happy with his sense of humor. Overall they are both pleased for now. Their reception is rather rustic and casual. Jessika’s father is a bit testy. In fact most of the guys think Mick is not attractive enough for Jessika. Jessika is quite content if anyone cares. Mick’s best man tells a terrible story about getting drunk and taking Viagra and jacking off. Then men in her family are furious. Jessika is not pleased either.

Meanwhile, Mick knows things aren’t well, but he has no idea how pissed off the bride’s family is. This marriage might be over before it starts. Jessika’s brother pulls Mick outside. Soon to be followed by the father. He’s not good with confrontations and is totally freaking out. Jessika talks to Mick alone. Mick tells Jessika that the groomsman’s speech was completely a lie. They talk a bit and things are better. It’s hard for me to understand Mick. Jessika says he’s a really good kisser.

Melissa and Dino

Melissa is a 38 year old talent agent from Sydney. She has a lot of energy and is a bit over the top. And loud. She has not had sex for eight years. Did I mention she is really loud and overbearing? Dino is 39 and from Western Australia. Dino is a meditation facilitator. Are they kidding me? I get the whole opposites attract thing, but not like this. They do look great together though. Was I the only one who saw Dino jog past a decapitated head on the jogging path? I’m totally going to have nightmares. Ugh.

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Mel has slept in and is two hours behind schedule. That is the worst feeling in the world. She isn’t even sure if her wedding dress is with her. This just keeps getting worse. She has to pull over on the side of the road to double check. It’s in a tiny little suitcase. Who does that? This whole scene is giving me anxiety. Mel arrives 30 minutes before the ceremony is supposed to start. So she has even more anxiety than usual. I love her two piece wedding dress. As it turns out, she walks down the aisle to find no groom waiting for her. Then he arrives on a white horse decked out with some sort of traditional garb. And a guy holding an umbrella over his head. He sure has no problem with upstaging the bride!

These two are happy with what they see. He gets down on one knee and proposes before the ceremony. It was cute. Dino’s vows are sort of hippy dippy. But Melissa doesn’t seem to mind much. She does mention that he seems way more spiritual than he is. At the reception, Melissa expresses concerns about Dino’s spirituality. Melissa is making everything more awkward.