This is the time when I wish we could just fast forward the the MAFS recap about the honeymoons. I have a feeling this is going to be a slow episode where Chris just says a whole lot more stupid shit that annoys us all. It seems as though his ex is going to pop up pregnant sooner or later. I saw Dr. Pepper on the chat show with Paige. I was thoroughly disgusted by her attempts to justify why this loser is on the show. Let’s just get started. I’ll probably have to stop and do Southern Charm at some point in this recap and get back to this later. In other news. MAFS Australia is back! I am excited but not prepared at all. I don’t even have names and photos yet so that might take me a while. So, I have coffee brewing for a long night. 🙂
Virginia & Erik
Erik is already besotted with Virginia. She seems happy as well. They cuddle and kiss in bed. There is just that pesky little drinking problem that Virginia seems to have. Maybe it was just all nerves from being on TV and getting married at first sight. At breakfast, Erik tells Virginia that she was previously married. He basically married her so that she could visit him on base when he was in the military. There was no wedding, not even a justice of the peace. They just signed a document. He never wore a ring. Everything they did was all new to him. He was married six years and has been divorced for three.
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Virginia’s father says that his first reaction was not a good one. He’s an over-protective dad. Erik shares that he has been married before. Surprisingly, is fine with it. Her dad seems like a good guy. He seems to know that Virginia parties too much. Erik’s mother, his niece and a family friend show up to meet Virginia. His mom wants children. Virginia says she is 50/50 on kids. Erik wants kids.
Later these two talk. Basically Erik says that he understands she is younger and still in the mood to go out a lot but all of that is behind him. Oh no! The couples are all going to Vegas this year for their honeymoons. This will not bode well for Virginia and her drinking. Has COVID happened yet? Why aren’t they going out of the country? Yep, COVID has begun and they all wore masks on the plane. Vegas seems like the last place people should go during a pandemic. In Vegas, Virginia is excited about the mini-bar.
Haley & Jacob
I’m really rooting for Jacob. I hope Haley gives him a chance. He’s super awkward and I hope that will be a little bit less of an issue after the nerves wear off. Jacob needs Virginia to stop hogging all the booze so he can have some. Jacob needs to talk less about his diet and exercise routine. Actually, he just needs to talk less.
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Jacob’s parents tell Haley that he has always been a loner. His teachers always said he was five going on 85. This is not helpful! His parents seem just like Jacob. Meanwhile, Jacob talks about how his house is a resort. He already told them all of this at the reception. Oh, Jacob. Please stop talking. They tell him not to let Haley get tired or hungry. Her dad says Haley makes a great steak. This is a point of agreement at least. Clearly, Jacob loves steak. Jacob’s conversation with Haley afterward was once again about red meat and his diet. Oh Jacob, I am starting to give up on you. Haley went to Vegas seven times last year? Who does that? Oh it was for work. I’m starting to feel almost as bad for Haley as I do for Paige.
Clara & Ryan
I love this couple. I really like that Ryan knows he is supposed to sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door. Also, the bed should be positioned so that it is the right side that is closest to the door. This is non-negotiable. Does Clara really want to take off her ring to sleep? Nope. The ring must stay on. Ryan also has the sense to blow out all the candles before going to sleep. He’s checking all my boxes. Clara walks and talks in her sleep. They argue (playfully) about movies the next morning. Both of Ryan’s parents are ministers and she hasn’t been to church since college. I think that will all work out though.
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At lunch with Ryan’s family, his mama is not onboard with Clara. Clara’s mother says that Clara has trouble dealing with conflict. She also says divorce is not an option. Ryan talks to Clara afterward about her ability to resolve conflict. Clara says she needs to work on patience.
Paige & Chris
Right away I am sad and angry that Paige got stuck with Chris. It’s just wrong of the “experts” to do this for drama. Production makes it a point to show Paige finding a giant box of condoms that had been left for them. Please don’t let it be Paige that gets pregnant by this man! She should have already run. At this point, Paige is still optimistic. Paige slept in her headpiece? On the very first morning, Chris has gone missing. I don’t know why I am taking this so personally, but I am furious about this moron being on the show. He’s not answering the phone.
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Chris finally shows up and Paige has been waiting in the room this whole time. I would have left and gone out for breakfast. Then maybe gone shopping and let him wonder where I was. Chris claims that he had a panic attack. Paige is way too nice to this asshole. Then he tells her that his panic attack is because he is not attracted to her. Yet they had sex on their wedding night, and in the morning! AAt Paige’s meal with the family she tells them they had sex at night and in the morning and then Chris told her she wasn’t his type. She did not even get to the part about his disappearance all morning. His father’s advice was for her just to “ride it out.” I think she has ridden enough already. I think she needs to GET out.
Chris Needs Some Sort Of Mental Health Intervention
Later, Chris’s parents have a conversation with him. He lies to his dad saying he wasn’t planning on having sex with her. Chris is pissed that Paige shared with his parents about them having sex. His dad tells him that he wants to be sure that Chris doesn’t hurt Paige. The next scene we get is Chris CRYING. Oh for fucksake. Run, Paige, RUN! Once again, Paige tries to comfort him. He is upset that she told his parents about the rejection after having sex twice. He says he doesn’t like talking about sex in front of a bunch of people. This coming from the guy that asked her a million sex question on camera minutes after they were married. Chris tells her basically that she is not allowed to talk about her marriage with her male friends.
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How is CHRIS even trying to play the victim here? Paige takes a time out to go get her hair done. Or more likely to wash that man right out of her hair. Chris sort of apologizes when she returns. She told him that she is pretty much over the whole situation. But she doesn’t want to give up this early. Chris peels off a ridiculous list of all of his good qualities that she hasn’t seen yet. Don’t hold your breath for that, Paige. Chris’s thoughts on going to Vegas is, “It can’t get any worse.” Oh, I feel like it actually can.
Brianna & Vincent
These two are another perfect match. They did a great job with these two. They are very affectionate already. I don’t think we saw much about their first morning, so we head straight to Brianna’s interrogation by his family. His friend says he works a lot. So she needs to be prepared for that. Brianna wonders what he is like when he gets mad or sad. His friends says he does get pretty mad at times. Vincent chats with Brianna’s family about his previous relationship. It ended because he works too much. This is a red flag. Vincent is studying for his real estate exams as a fall back occupation.
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When these two talk afterward, Vincent says that her mother was concerned about him protecting her daughter. Brianna took her ring off to put lotion on why? Brianna says that his parents said when he gets upset she needs to help calm him down. He denies that he has any anger problems. Sadly, right after they landed in Vegas, Vincent found out that his grandmother had a heart attack and is in the hospital. Brianna is very understanding about it.
Next week: Virginia just wants to drink. A LOT. It looks like Chris found out his ex is pregnant. Religion becomes an issue for Clara and Ryan. Erik says that guys and girls can never be friends.
I’m just livid! Word has it Chris was with his supposed ex as late as June, as he quarantined with her, and the wedding was in August. This would mean that he was in a relationship when he applied for the show. How did the Producers not know this? They must check social media?
I suspect the disappearance was him going to call his girlfriend who probably told him she was taking a pregnancy test. He needs to be off the show. Um so angry at Chris and his super creepy dad, it’s hard to focus on the rest of the show.
Jacob reminds me of me at times. As a loner I talk to myself a lot, and have a tendency to over share when I’m speaking to others. Hopefully Haley can help him find his edit button and off switch.
That was my first thought as well. That would make more sense than having a panic attack because he had sex with his wife and wasn’t attracted to her.
And I think the speech was intended to placate his girlfriend.
But you know his parents had to know what was going on. Why in the world did they choose to help Chris with this fraud?
When he made that comment about women wanting him for his money, I wanted to know who the hell chose this fool. I read somewhere he owned a Subway restaurant that is now closed. That could be why he wouldn’t say the name. This boy and his creepy dad should be kicked off the show.
This is turning into such a great season!! So Chris potentially knocked up his ex, well at least she’s his type ? haley and Jacob, god hes a stooge, no amount of alcohol can make him sexy, and I’m loving production for pointing this out with the spa story he already told the mom. Then the religious parents guy and the blonde that’s not religious anymore and the fact that she almost cringes discussing organized religion, wow going for broke this year lifetime with so many potential duds.
I’ve seen a lot about fans complaining how the “experts” are putting people together. Last season I made a negative comment on a MAFS tweet and Pastor Cal responded by defending them. I stand by my assertion that the “experts” are involved less and less each season not only in matching but interacting with the couples. The season when the nice black girl was married to the pathological liar, she needed help and they hardly paid attention. Then they started getting baskets at their doors with some stupid cards obviously written by PAs with ridiculous exercises on them to do by themselves. This was pre-covid, too. Dr. Vivianna has been useless from the beginning, imo. She gets all gussied up to read a teleprompter like she’s talking to a bunch of four year olds. I’ve never felt her to be genuine. Last season during quarantine some couples really struggled. Where were the experts? They couldn’t do anything online like everyone else? I saw one online interaction where Cal blamed Olivia for everything going on with her loser husband who was a total jerk starting from the bachelor party.
Btw, why do they get such beautiful venues and flowers for the Australian version and the American one looks like they rent meeting rooms at Motel 6?
With all the applicants they get, why are there any couples who aren’t on the same page on the basics: religion, children, money, lifestyle? Hard enough to marry a stranger without incompatibility in basic areas.
Chris is one of the worst husbands ever on this show. He is a manipulator, liar, and totally unsuited to be here. He fucked her twice and then tells her he’s not into her? If it’s true that he thought he could get a connection with her through sex, he’s an idiot. You get a connection with people by getting to know them. But I don’t believe he thought that. It was just a lie to cover up that he just wanted some.
The way he spoke about the other couples? Judging them only on appearance and “swag”? What an asshole. That’s apparently all he cares about, how somebody looks. Shallow Hal.
His father redeemed himself somewhat this episode. He turned me off big time at the wedding. But he seems to genuinely care about Paige being treated right. Already too late for that, though.
I think you’re 100% correct, TT, that he was talking to the ex while he was MIA. And I also would have gone to breakfast, packed my bags, headed to the airport without him to enjoy a trip to Vegas.
Anyone else think Vegas is an odd choice? I understand they may not have wanted an international trip. But so many more interesting choices, imo.
I thought Vegas was literally the worst place they could go in a pandemic.
I didn’t even realize it was open for business last August.
They could have rented out a resort somewhere, like the Hilton Head or even Simiahmoo in Washington State.
They were filming other stuff in Vegas, like Love Island, and it was full of half-empty hotels. There was infrastructure for testing and filming. From a production perspective, Vegas makes a lot of sense to me.
Those suites were INSANE, and looks like they’ll be filming a lot in them.
They probably could have made a couple mansions on the Florida beach work, I guess. But Vegas seems a lot easier, with a built in sponsor.
There’s always a “Chris” on this show. Whether it’s Zach, Brandon or Brett. Do the producers of this show just like setting up women to be hurt by these assholes?
I think this season’s Chris is THE VERY WORST OF THE WORST. Mr. word-salad talking about sex then saying don’t talk about it, Mr. My chest is huge (HILARIOUS that he thinks that), Mr. I banged you twice to see if I might find you attractive. Who knew that the “culture” of coming from Chicago means you don’t talk about sex with your parents? Chris though talked about it quite a bit with HIS parents and his pastor before the wedding.
I have high hopes for Vincent and Brianna. I think Virginia is going to be a horrible match with Erik.
I love this stupid show and LOVE that you recap it T.
I am so glad that you are recapping MAFS again (Australia, too?). You are the reason I started watching and LOVING it!
Yeah I have MAFS Australia almost ready to go. It got really late on me last night
I don’t even remember seeing Pastor Cal on this episode. That’s a win in my book.
I’m glad Paige’s family just left, or maybe the show cut their awkward brunch or whatever. They don’t deserve this either.
Getting caught up (took a mental health day, it just feels so good to be home)…
I like all the women, all but Virginia seem ready to be married. I feel bad for Eric, he seems smitten.
I cannot with Chris and his family! How he made through the picking process blows my mind!
I get it TT, I feel like I’m taking this way too personally, Paige is being way to kind and understanding, Chris deserves not one bit of her!
*too kind…