I don’t think I even watched last week’s RHOD as that was the first day of THE GREAT ILLNESS OF 2021. Today is day seven and I am feeling much better as long as I take Mucinex every few hours. So I’m ready for a RHOD recap! I have to say I miss LeeAnne and really with they would have gotten rid of Kary instead. LeeAnne was a lot of things, but at least she was authentic. The rest of these ladies not so much. Okay, I’m all caught up on last week. I think I started watching it and fell asleep about halfway through.
Brandi who has ten billion ADORABLE children got home at 4am from Kary’s birthday party. Stephanie and Kameron get together to work through their hangovers. Kam’s friend Jen joined them. They were the least drunk at the party. D’Andra won’t let Brandi in her house because Brandi decided that a pandemic was a good time to fly to Florida. I wouldn’t let her my house either. Mask or no mask. So they sit in the back yard. And Kary joins them. Kary seems jealous of Tiffany’s relationship with D’Andra. They are drinking tequila. I pause to make a hoe cake to go with my rutabagas because I am starving.
Did You Know Tiffany Is A Doctor?
For some reason, Tiffany is apparently redoing he life saving skills certification at her house with two five year old helpers. I’m not an expert on this, but I don’t think this is how it works. Tiffany is like Wendy on RHOP. She reminds us of her degrees and skills in every episode. She of course passed her test. Which she tells us several times. Then she tells her five-year-olds that she is at work saving people when she is not with them. The overly coached five-year-olds tell her they want her not to go to work. She seems everso worried about this. So much so that she took yet another job on RHOD.
Argh. Computer crashed. I hate this laptop. I’m skipping over the housewife’s offspring’s mental health issues being splattered all over TV. So let’s move on to Brandi talking about her “rehab” for racism. And how she hates her birthday. D’Andra is going to have a birthday party for Brandi at nearby winery. Stephanie helps her plan. And also helps her figure out how to use her laptop. Because, D’Andra. I really have no room to poke fun at D’Andra at this point regarding technology.
Stephanie Spends Bonding Time With Her Mama
Stephanie is starting a non-profit and is setting up her new office. For the sake of the sake of funny TV, she plans to paint and set up the office and move everything herself. So her mother and brother-in-law are going to help her move and paint. Let’s just say it starts off with a bumpy ride. She and her mom seem very close. They bond while talking about married life. Stephanie seems to think Travis doesn’t believe in her. But she does manage to repaint the new office.
HOT HUSBAND ALERT! Is this the first sighting of D’Andra’s husband this season? D’Andra has written a letter to her estranged family. Jeremy is going with D’Andra to put the letter in one of their mailboxes. Does she know about the post office? Oh she claims to be worried that USPS will lose the letter. Instead, she is making it some sort of ridiculous recon mission with Jeremy who thinks this is just as ridiculous as I do. He mocks the entire scene and is hilarious.
It’s My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To
Normally I wait until the end to put in the headers. But I don’t even have to see this episode to know this will probably work just fine. D’Andra has … er… it kind of looks like Brandi’s head on a pike. She calls it Captain Brandi and talks like Brandi while waving it around. I mean. I really don’t know how to describe what I am seeing here. But apparently, Captain Brandi is going to the winery. Um, YAY?
So off we go to the winery in a party bus with a stripper pole as sophisticated wealthy women of a certain age do. Kary immediately starts complaining. Because, apparently complaining is her storyline. AGAIN. There isn’t enough ice to chill the wine or the tequila. Apparently, D’Andra didn’t bring a corkscrew. And there is not toilet. And the all have to pee after the 15 minute ride over to get Brandi. Thankfully they all just take a potty break at Brandi’s. Oh no they don’t. Brandi just takes one of her spawns baby toilets to take on the trip. As one does. Then they show off their geriatric stripper moves. I’m not making this up.
Are We There Yet?
Can we just get to the damn destination, PUHLEASE. The winery looks lovely. Kameron is super annoyed with D’Andra for being the tour guide carrying Captain Brandi high in the air as she leads the group. As soon as they get inside, the kind employee greets everyone with wine. Which sets off Kary’s whining. She asks the employee if the “hostess” D’Andra told her that was someone in the party who does not drink. Is that Jen?
Why is D’Andra doing full on makeup at the dinner table? Why is everyone so angry. Can’t the just shut up and eat, drink and be merry? ARGH.