It’s time for another RHOA recap. This is only episode five. It seem like there have been more episodes than that. On the other hand there aren’t really many storylines. We have Porsha’s protest, Kenya’s marital problems, Drew’s marital problems, Cynthia’s wedding, and Kandi sending Riley off to college. None of those are particularly exciting. And Latoya is just way too much. In case you missed it, Cynthia was on Wendy Williams this week for a fairly long interview. You can click here to read that recap. I’m a bit under the weather today. I woke up with a sore chest. It feels like someone punched me in my breast bone. Weird. Feeling a bit off today. So let’s get this recap done.
Who Sends Nude Pics At 50?
The previews for tonight left a lot to be desired. I feel like these women have all reached and age where we don’t need to hear about their (production driven) sexual fantasies with each other. Nor do I really need to see them in slutty lingerie. Is it just me? I wish they had more grown women storylines. I do like the storyline of Kandi sending Riley off to college. First, Kandi and Mama Joyce have to teach Riley how to clean a bathroom. Ace is better at it than Riley.
Kenya and Latoya go to meet Cynthia to choose some wedding night lingerie. Cynthia is already annoyed that Kenya invited Latoya. So am I, Cynthia. So am I. Kenya sent Latoya a nekkid selfie. Why? I remember that my source said that this year we have “Season ? Kenya.” I forget the season. But it is apparently the one where she was annoying AF. You never know what you are going to get with Kenya. Anyway, the white lingerie that Cynthia bought did not flatter her.
Apparently, Porsha’s Dad Died When She Was A Kid
It looks like Bravo added an extra hour onto this show. Probably WWHL and Bravo Chat. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I wish I had a chili dog from The Varsity, and some onion rings and a frosted orange. I haven’t been into the city for years. Porsha’s sister Lauren feels bad for not inviting Kenya to the party. Apparently, Porsha is “writing a book.” Sigh. She doesn’t seem to know how old her sister is when she talks about he living with their dad. Porsha lived with her mother and only saw him on weekends. Then, for some reason Porsha simulates sex with Dennis for he mother. WTF? Then she cries over time missed with her father.
Cynthia and Mike’s engagement party has a #CHILL theme. It is a winter wonderland all white dinner party. It’s also white tie. Everyone seems to think that Joe Biden is coming to dinner. Porsha has shaved her head. For real. It’s grown out a couple inches now and is actually really cute. Everyone has purchased white tie outfits for the occasion. LOL. Then half the girls aren’t there when Cynthia arrives for her surprise party. Of course.
Better Late Than Never?
Cynthia asks Kenya to be a bridesmaid. She also asks Kandi to be a bridesmaid too. Marlo is 24 minutes late. Porsha is 52 minutes late. Then she goes around and kisses everyone in a pandemic. And she greets everyone while Kenya is talking. Kenya oddly starts singing on the microphone. Kandi then takes the mike away and shows her how to sing. Then Porsha gets up and sings with Kandi. Latoya arrives during dinner an hour and twenty two minutes late. Then she shows everyone at the table Kenya’s nekkid selfie. Latoya says she has it as her screen saver because, “goals.” She says she wants a butt like Kenya. Marlo jumps in with, “So you are going to get your butt done too?” And then it is on between those two. Kenya says Marlo wants to eat her ass.
Todd is watching the basketball game on his phone. Mike wants to know what the score is. These two guys are miserable. Poor things. Eventually, Kandi jumps and asks ever to please be civil and don’t ruin the dinner. Then, out of nowhere, Kenya says there are three ladies at the table who “could get it.” Kenya apparently wants to have sex with Kandi, Latoya and Cynthia. Kenya has had a couple of drinks. That is very unusual for Kenya so that might explain her behavior. Kenya confronts Porsha about not being invited to her party.
Riley Makes a Break For It!
Kandi if freaking out about driving Riley all the way to NYU with her stuff. Riley will be there for her 18th birthday. I love Kandi’s shirt. It says, “I wish Karen would.” LOL. Meanwhile, Ace is crying because he wants to go with Riley. Oh bless his heart, he wants to go with her to help her clean because she doesn’t like the dirty stuff on his hands. Can he come to my house and clean? He’s adorable. OMG Ace has talking head. I love it!
Aw, then we get a package of Riley growing up on the show. She was so little when the show started. She’s so cute! They rented a bus and a U-haul to get them to New York. There was no Drew tonight. Why? She’s full-time and Latoya is not. Yet Latoya is always in front of the camera. We see her next week working on thins with Ralph. Kandi uses her Kandi Cares charity to distribute food to those in need during the pandemic. Cynthia wants to invite her dad to the wedding. Her mom is not having it.