Well, girls and boys, it is finally time to argue in comments of a Southern Charm recap again. It’s been three weeks and in those three weeks we’ve all aged at least three years. I don’t know about you but I am ready for some annoying stupidity that doesn’t portend the end of the world as we know it. I tried to start your day with some hilarious big dick energy. But I guess that only me and Rakely found it funny. Come sit next to me, Rakely. We can figure out how to make dick jokes in Danish. 🙂 I left you one in the comments. Don’t tell anyone.
“TI was all ready to go and watching the news and lost track of time so I am starting a few minutes late. I must say as I am listening to the part that reminds us where we left off that all the guys look great with quarantine hair and beards. We begin with Pringle and his ex wife and the boys going fishing. The boys whine before they even get out of the car, as kids tend to do. The scripts says fish, so fish they will. Pringle’s sister Jenny shows up to show them how to get their lines ready. They could not even get a line in the water.
God I miss Charleston. These street scenes are killing me. Why are we acting like Madison is just now inviting all her friends to the party? I know the answer is production, but it doesn’t make sense. Danni is not happy that Kat is coming. Kathryn and Shep go to Holy City Brewing to sit out in a parking lot and kick back a few at a picnic table. Because, COVID. They wear masks but hug. SIGH. They talk about Danni. Kathryn feels like her world has been crumbling. She got fired from her job and everyone thinks she is a racist. Kathryn finally mentions Caleb Ravenell. They spelled it Chleb but I’m not going through another “Candiace” thing.
How Not To Uninvite The Birthday Boy From The Birthday Party
I feel like Kathryn tried to hook up with him before and they are just dating to get her through the whole emoji-gate thing, but they did look pretty tight on NYE. This may or may not be the same Ravenell guy she tried to get with in a previous season. I tried searching my site and all that came up was that time Thomas got kicked in the head by a polo pony. Anyway, this all sounds very convenient. And why does she keep whispering the word black? Sigh.
Why is Craig always meddling in Austen and Madison’s relationship. Now he has her calling up Austen to uninvite him to his own birthday party because he thinks that it will give Austen hope that they will get back together. And dammit the script says that Madison and Pringle have to end up together! Austen calls Craig to ream him out about his meddling and Madison calls back to tell him to come as her friend not her psycho ex-boyfriend. That didn’t go over so well so he says he is not going. Spoiler alert! It’s an all cast party.
Leva Is A Terrible Person
Leva, Danni and Venita all go to see the Madison that owns Gwynn’s to get clothes for the party. Venita is soooo pretty. Danni and Leva trash Kathryn to the other two. Leva makes me want to punch her in the face. She literally volunteered to mentor Kathryn and all of fucking Charleston on their racist behaviors. And now she is sitting there asking why Kathryn is only talking to her about the emoji thing. I see you Leva. I see you palling up with Danni and stealing Kathryn’s friend and finding a black friend to film with to give you street cred. Shut up girl. I see you trying to take Cameran’s place as the production darling. And it seems to be working… but not in the way you wanted.
I am so far behind! Can we just get to this island party! At least we get everyone to the boat. Shep shows up looking ridiculous while everyone else is dressed up. Austen is still pissed with Craig, but he is showing up anyway. Pringle is pissed that Austen came. I’m not sure why they keep calling Capers Island a private island. Last I knew it was a state park where people camp. Then again I used to camp at Sand Dollar Camp Ground as a small kid. And now it is a huge development known as Wild Dunes. So, maybe it is private now.
The Comfort Of Craig
Kathryn and Craig are coming out on a different boat it seems. The girls are all icing Kathryn out because of Leva. So, I guess she needed the comfort of Craig. I mean, doesn’t everyone need the comfort of Craig? Craig tells Kathryn that since Danni broke up with Todd, she hasn’t been quite right. He doesn’t think she processes things correctly. Doesn’t Craig have a girlfriend to focus on now? Why is he so up in everyone else’s relationship?
Fun fact, if you want your place card to be an engraved drinking glass you have to order them in advance. So when you disinvite the guest of honor at the last minute and they show up anyway, there should still be a placecard for them. Madison is being a huge cunt to Austen. Meanwhile, on the second boat, Kathryn and Craig open a full bottle of rosé each for the 30 minute boat ride. The girls on the beach all listen to Madison bitch about Austen. Then they move on to trashing Kathryn. Why?
Have I Used I Hate Leva As A Header Yet?
Leva wants to know why Kathryn is being coddled by Craig and didn’t come with everyone else? Because you are a giant cunt, Leva and she doesn’t want to waste 30 minutes of her life listening to you pontificate to everyone about bullshit. Who confronts the hostess to complain about how and when other guests arrive? Also, it is production that is doing the coddling and you know it! Leva is soooooo thirsty for camera time. She’s like a RHOSLC housewife trying all the things at the same time to get attention. She needs to stop using all the tactics in Cameran’s playbook in the same damn scene.
They start eating without Craig, Kathryn, or Shep’s girlfriend, Taylor who apparently came on her own. Why? The girls barely acknowledge Kathryn. The guys are all sweet to her. Madison talks to Kathryn and tells her Danni has her back. Kathryn doesn’t feel that way. Craig trash talks Austen. Come on Craig. That is your boy. Taylor arrives underdressed because Shep didn’t know the dress code. Craig and Austen have the same exact clothes on. They have the same old conversation about how Austen can’t be around Madison because he still loves her. Craig says he doesn’t even want to be around the group anymore.
Danni And Kathryn Have A Heart To Heart
Leva is trying to produce not just herself, but everyone else. She tells Kathryn and Danni to go talk. It doesn’t start well. Then, I guess it is the Madison from Gwynn’s that Leva sent to disrupt? And it worked now Danni is agitated. Kathryn is hurt. And all of the women seem to not be able to enjoy a picnic on barrier island. What is the point of all of this? Venita even butts in to the conversation. Craig and Austen opt to ignore their issues and take a romantic walk on the beach. When they come back, Craig butts into the Danni and Kathryn drama. Danni is pissed. Again.
Danni drags Kathryn away to talk privately. Then Leva tells Craig who to talk to and how. Danni starts calling Craig an asshole. Danni shares her feelings with Kathryn. Danni says that Kathryn reached out to Leva and told her she needed her advice because she didn’t have anyone she could count on. Danni’s feelings were really hurt. Just like Leva wanted. And Danni clung to Leva. Just like Leva wanted. I get how Danni feels. And I also understand that Kathryn probably withdrew from Danni and everyone else for a bit. And I think Kathryn is self medicating her anxiety and depression. I speak from experience there. But, my drug of choice is wine at home on my couch. And I’m not sure what Kathryn is self-medicating with. She seems okay this episode though.
Rough Ride Home
They are interrupted by the tides mandating they have to leave now. On the way back to the boat, Leva tells Kathryn that “they” are not against her. Like she is the leader of the pack. Really? Girl stop. Meanwhile, on the boat, Madison, from Gwynn’s tries to explain to Kathryn that she is disappointed that Gwynn’s had to put out a statement about the monkey emoji incident and Kathryn never reached out to her to give her a heads up and never explained herself. That’s fair. And Kathryn is not capable of even apologizing to Madison. She thinks Gwynn’s posting a statement about the situation was bullying. It was not. They had to make a stand. It’s their business. They can’t ignore a racist accusation.
Leva and the other girls were sitting right behind Kathryn making her feel uncomfortable in the conversation with Madison. They say the moved up because of the wind in the back of the boat. Maybe so, but the whole pontoon kind of boat is windy. And Leva moves up to where Kathryn moved to by Austen. She’s clearly chasing
the camera Kathryn. Leva once again tells Kathryn that she is not against her. So she trash talks her to everyone and then chastises Kathryn for assuming she is against her?! Austen chimes in to point out that Leva must know why she feels that way. Austen says she has been attacked by every single woman on the boat.
SHUT THE FUCK UP, LEVA!
Leva starts yelling at Austen and pointing at him. She tells Austen to shut the fuck up. Then, she says that Kathryn said something that affected her husband and her child. Oh you shut the fuck up Leva. I don’t your grown ass husband or your child pay any attention to Kathryn Dennis. If they do that is weird as fuck. She starts says she was decent enough to have a conversation with Kathryn. Then she tells Austen to shut the fuck up two more times. Venita gets up and tries to calm Leva down. Austen tells her to shut the fuck up. Craig wonders if he is going to have to defend his boyfriend.
Leva says that the minute she met Kathryn she was kind to her. Austen asks if she is crazy (yes, she is) and if she has lost her mind (no he is trying to keep the camera on her). Then Madison (Austen’s ex) starts screaming for him to shut the fuck up? Are all of these women PMSing? What is happening here?
I hate Leva. Did I mention that? Pringle was even sticking up for Austen after she screamed at him to STFU THREE TIMES. Next week is part one of a two part finale. Whatever that means.