I have been unable to check in to see if Washington DC is still there because of other programs recording, so I am anxious to get through this RHOSLC recap. Bravo only gave two very boring clips to us. One was Brooks acting like a six year old because Meredith and Seth are “back together.” The other was Heather and her weird ex-husband with the kids and presents for… something. So let’s hope there is some excitement. I think Jen is having yet another party at the chalet. If you are going to rent a place it seems like you might as well throw all the parties you can. It occurs to me that perhaps the real reason Sharrieff doesn’t come home is because they don’t really live there. He’d rather be at their real house cough with his sidepiece? cough.
Jen is having a surprise birthday party for Sharrieff. It’s a hip hop/golf theme. Sounds classy. Not. I predict he doesn’t come home. Oh!She just said that Sharrieff is done with the season and if finally “home.” She did not invite Mary to the party. Meanwhile, Mary wants us to know that she owns a lot of houses and doesn’t rent any of them. Then she cries to her husband on Facetime because she is being ostracized from the group. Later, Whitney comes over to check on Mary. Mary shows her rooms and rooms of high end clothes and crap. She wants Whitney to make Jen invite her.
Over at Heather’s house she and the girls are having a Valentine’s party. The ex-husband is there because “it’s a tradition.” The girls seem less than thrilled. Heather tells us that she married him because he was over six feet tall, cool and connected to Howard Hughes. They were never compatible. They had a fight over what time of day to baptize on of the girls. And he moved out over that. The ex didn’t stay long. And he decided to keep the teddy bear he brought one of the girls for himself since she wasn’t feeling it. This is a weird family. Frankly, all the people on this show are weird.
Seth and Meredith are back together and very lovely dovey. Brooks is acting like a child who thinks displays of affection is “gross.” Clearly, Meredith doesn’t live in this house either. It’s totally empty. The kitchen shelves are empty. There is barely anything on their kitchen counters except a bottle of wine. They need to stage their houses to make it more believable. Doesn’t she stage places for a living? And the order in food barely have plates and silverware.
Whitney goes to visit her friend Sarah. Sarah has kind of an orthopedic mat in front of her sink. I need one of those! My back hurts when I wash dishes. So, um… I don’t do dishes. Whitney talks about the situation between Jen and Mary. Whitney is afraid to approach Jen.
Sharrieff’s Surprise Party
The party isn’t even at the “chalet” it at a venue. Sharrieff gets excited thinking he is going to Popeyes. Then he finds out he is going to a golf place with a party room. So much for that Shrimp Po Boy he had a hankering for. Now I want a Shrimp Po Boy. I guess we will both be disappointed. The people there seem to be people he actually knows unlike Jen’s parties that are filled with family members and extras.
The dance off was cute. Whitney showed out with her stripper/hip hop skills. Meredith said Whitney was so excited about the dance off she showed of her dance routine from middle school. The shade, Meredith. The shade! Not to be outdone, Jen fights back by … doing the worm? Okay. Whitney is terrified to tell Jen that everyone is afraid of her. Heather going to back her up. But here is the thing. Mary is the one who started this rumor.
Jen’s Party Is RUINED!
Production sends Lisa and Meredith over to get in the middle of it. Jen confronts both them. She is going off on like the lunatic she is. She is scary. Meredith and Lisa both deny talking to Mary about being afraid of Jen. Apparently I have Meredith and Jen backwards again. Whitney then tells Meredith that Jen has been spreading rumors about Meredith and Seth’s relationship. Or more precisely, Meredith’s sidepiece. Meredith is the one that always says “I’m not engaging.” Meredith decides to bail on the party. This is all Whitney’s fault. Whitney runs off to hide.
Then Jen checks, get angry and throw a glass with at drink during a fight off her Things Housewives Do Checklist. Pace yourself, Jen. You’ve checked off 13 years of cliche moments in your first six episodes. Whitney is drunk as a skunk and can hardly speak. Jen goes to force Sharrieff to leave his own surprise party because she is losing ALL her shit. He was actually having a good time. No wonder he doesn’t want to take her around people. He tells his son that she always does this when she’s drinking. Sounds like a problem.
Next week: MOTS