Happy New Year! It’s time for an early RHOD recap! Might as well do it tonight so I can skip it next week. It’s a drizzly wet night in Georgia but so far not wet enough to stop the fireworks. Banjo is not amused. They started as soon as it got dark. I guess it is time to give him some benadryl. Or not. I’m worried it will wear off by midnight if I do it now. It’s only going to get worse. Let’s get on with the recap for now. Also, what do you think of this season’s taglines?
I have missed Kameron. She is so funny. She told her kids that the virus is because of people eating bats. Kameron is getting a new designer dog after her last one passed away while she was at New York fashion week. Since the dog died on Court’s watch, she blamed him for not giving him his medicine. The new dog is called Fancy. She has apparently been off to get some home training. The trainer tries to explain to Kameron that the dog needs to walk and not be carried in a doggie Bjorn or pushed in a stroller. The trainer tries to tell Kameron to calm the fuck down around the dog. Fancy has a schedule. A long, strict schedule with treadmill time. Honestly, this is the silly stuff I need right now.
Let’s Get Right Into The Drama
Brandi and Stephanie and their kids get together to play on a giant slip and slide in Brandi’s back yard. The producers ask about hugging and Stephanie says they are in a filming bubble and have been tested a million times. While both things are true, tests don’t prevent COVID. Once you test positive, it’s too late. That said it is fun watching these two wipe out on the slide. Why is this Asian video coming back up three years later? Has it been that long since they filmed? I can’t find my story about it. Apparently, the social media backlash made Brandi suicidal and she had to go to treatment. Everyone is supporting Brandi, but Brandi was the first one to crucify LeeAnne. #NeverForget
D’Andra and Mama Dee are having the new girl, Tiffany over for dinner. Production had them move it outside. Mama Dee let’s us know that she gave D’Andra $100,000 to keep her business going during the pandemic. Mama Dee actually seems proud of D’Andra for a change. Tiffany arrives to hugs and air kisses. NOPE! Not during a pandemic. Tiffany worked in the ER all day and went home to take a decontamination shower before heading over. She must be exhausted working in a hospital and filming at the same time!
Kameron Throws a Garage Sale
Good Lord. Kam’s garage sale is bigger than most boutiques. She’s going to make big bank off this. Except Kameron keep bringing things back inside. Oh Lord, celebratory gunshots going down in the hood. Meanwhile, Kameron is like me when I have a garage sale. As soon as someone wants to buy something I want to keep it. We meet Kam’s “friend” Jen our new FOH. She’s a redhead and I can already tell she’s batshit crazy. Kary shows up to tell Kameron her stuff it over priced. It is. Stephanie invites everyone to a pool party. Tiffany can’t swim at all! Too busy studying to take lessons I guess. Brandi was not at the garage sale, why?
Then we get Tiffany’s first solo package. She lives in a huge, gorgeous house with her husband and two adorable twin girls. Tiffany is a brainiac. She graduated from college at age 19 and got her MD at 23. She’s also a tiger mom. Instead of, oh, I dunno, Good Night Moon, she reads to them about Madame Curie.
Stephanie has the first dinner party that brings everyone together. Brandi is really nervous about seeing everyone. And by everyone, I mean Tiffany. Tiffany arrives and hugs everyone even Brandi. She’s being very sweet. Kam says she made $24K on her garage sale. I believe that. At the dinner table, the conversation immediately turns to talking about their vaginas. You know, the usual polite dinner conversation we all learned about in etiquette class. Brandi is drunk as a skunk already. She says her vagina is a “gobbler” and Jen says hers is too. Those two go to the pantry to compare vaginas. As one does. The male caterers are mortified.
Then they go around the table and talk about the positives and negatives of quarantine. Kary says her business really took a hit. D’Andra says she went off all her meds for mental health and starting seeing a shaman. Again, as one does. Kam cracks me up in her talking head. She has know idea what a shaman is. Is it a magical wizard? Tiffany talks about working the front lines. Jen’s sister has COVID. Brandi brings up her video about having Asian eyes. She was referring to herself because everyone says she has squinty eyes. She spoke in a derogatory Asian accent. Then, she gives yet another tearful apology. Tiffany is unmoved. Why is Brandi crying and seeking attention when she is the person did the wrong thing. She says it is like when the kid who kids another kid cries.
Brandi’s Storyline Needs To Be More Than “I Was Suicidal!”
Brandi has cried about this and pointed out she was suicidal multiple times. It is a bit much. Kary tells her if people don’t want to give her a second chance, that is on them. Production asks Kary why she is so forgiving of Brandi but unwilling to forgive LeeAnne. She says that LeeAnne’s behavior toward her was out of hate. Brandi was just stupid and ignorant. She says that LeeAnne had no remorse.
Tiffany talks to Brandi about what she did. Then she tells her that her parents immigrated to the US without her. She didn’t see them from age 3 to 6. Tiffany cries. When Tiffany was six they put her on a plane from China by herself to fly to meet her parents. And when she went to school the kids made gestures about her slanty eyes. Tiffany cries. Brandi cries. Hopefully this ends this storyline as it ends this episode.