It’s Thursday night and that means a Southern Charm recap. If only if I had remembered that. I finally made it to the grocery store tonight. Sadly my grocery list would not print. I think my printer ink dried up from lack of use again. So I just grabbed a bunch of stuff that I could remember. Every trip to the store seems like, as someone here mentioned, I’m creating a bunker in case of civil war. I’d like to get at least through January on this shop. So I came home exhausted thinking I didn’t have any recaps on Thursday nights. But I do. Thankfully, the anxiety abates once I feel like I have everything I need in the house. And now the exhaustion is wearing off. And I feel a few endorphins from actually moving. So I am on it tonight!
How is Austen’s little microbrew in Harris Teeter? I imagine it is only in Charleston. I used to go to Harris Teeter in Charleston to buy tea bags when I visited. I’m not sure that tea plantation is still retailing tea. Anyway, Austen whines to Craig about Madison. Then we get a Zoom call between Shep and Taylor. Taylor looks amazing. Taylor says that she wants to “take a step back” from Shep. He didn’t pay enough attention to her when she was down with the Covid. How is it that the Kellys and Sheps seem to be immune from this mess.
Meanwhile, Madison heads over to Patricia’s house. They site outside super far apart and Michael serves champagne. Then just like magic, Leva calls Patricia on her cell as if they are BFFs. So Patricia invites her over. Really now. Madison gives Patricia the out she wanted in her relationship. She has dumped her boyfriend, Austen, basically because Patricia told her to. Back at Craig’s place, Austen still seems to think there is a chance of reconciliation. Leva arrives and sits right next to Madison. Why aren’t they social distancing?
Everyone Has Kathryn’s Name In Their Mouths
Patricia serves caviar and creme fraiche on potato chips. She explains that bellinis are “déclassé” now. It’s amazing how Patrica and the butler just love explaining class to everyone that enters the doors. They are fossils who have no clue about anything after 1953. And of course Leva starts the Kathryn bashing and Patricia is right on that déclassé bus together. Leva says that Kathryn needs to go read a book. Madison says Kathryn is her friend. Patricia is over Kathryn once again. Leva is so pompous and condescending when it comes to Kathryn. How about getting a storyline that isn’t focused on Kathryn?
Kathryn goes to see Austen and Craig. Basically, because none of the girls are speaking to her over the Cameran (bullshit) rumors she started. And also because the guys have always tolerated her better. (Sidenote: Please to do not post about children’s medical diagnoses on this site. That is déclassé. Especially when a parent puts that information on the record.) Kathryn whines to the guys about Leva’s conversation. But, she was even more irritated with the conversation that she had with Danni. Kathryn fails to mention she was apparently a few drinks in or on something for that conversation.
Anything Goes At The House Of Pringle
Pringle’s boys are going wild because he has no rules. The boys mom, Heidi, is coming for a summer visit for five days. He tries to tell the boys to act like they do have rules when she arrives. He does have a type. I’m just saying. Heidi wants to know if he has been instilling bedtime. Have they been reading? Nope. It’s pure chaos. OMG those sandwiches look amazing. I am always starving while recapping.
Shep meets up with Taylor again. He went to a therapist and talked the whole hour about Taylor. The therapist said you can’t talk to women the way he does. He still thinks he is right. But the therapist told him that Taylor has valid emotions too. Shep thinks he is in love.
Patricia Invites The Guys For A Low Country Boil
Patricia sure does like her all male dinner parties. This year’s French sit down dinner has turned into an outdoor Charleston pool party. Or more of a Frat party. Or not. It seems like it may get rained out. Austen is not looking forward to seeing Pringle. Shep tells Pringle that “he should bang” Madison to “to drive a nail into the coffin.” Pringle and Shep are first to arrive to Patricia’s. Pringle wastes not time introducing himself to the pretty bartender.
Craig and Austen talk about how Patricia trashed Austen to Madison and instigated the breakup of the relationship. I’ve never heard them talk about her like this before. I think it was Craig who said she was nasty. Austen said she is old and bored. They’re not lying. They are also drunk and begin shotgunning beers as soon as they park their golf cart.
Who Wants Crabs?
The food looks great but this is not a low country boil. There is crab, and corn, but it wasn’t all cooked together. And there is fried chicken. Yum! Patricia says every can do whatever they want. They can pee in the bushes because they can’t go in the house. There are no rules for this outdoor party.
Austen explains Guy Code to Pringle. He tells him that even though he and Madison are broken up, she is forever off limits to him and his friends. That’s just the way things go. They hug it out at the luncheon. But, Pringle thinks the whole conversation is ludicrous. Craig once again lectures Austen on going cold turkey on Madison. Why is he so invested? The Patricia tells Austen that she never thought he was a match for Madison. He is not ready to be a step-parent. She is worse than Craig. Austen asks in an interview, “Has Patricia ever been in love or is it all just about the money?” I was thinking the same thing. That and does she remember what it is like to be young and in love?
Craig Continues To Meddle In Austen’s Affairs
Madison meets up with Craig to catch up. Craig says that this current Covid girlfriend might be the one. Madison says that Austen is her best friend. Craig presses her to say she is not in love with Austen and she doesn’t want to marry him. He tells her that she has to cut Austen off completely. She says that will never happen. Craig is super adamant about this point. Why? Just let them live!
Shep and Craig are on WWHL. I will update anything important in comments. But first I need to EAT! A girl is HONGRY after all that food. 🙂