I am not sure about tonight’s 90 Day Fiance recap. I think it is basically going to be a recap of the past relationships of these people. But, I guess I need this, but I am not sure you guys do. So we shall see where this goes.
Brandon & Julia
Julia needs to turn the fuck around and go home. Brandon’s mommy is never going to let this happen. She is way worse that Colt’s mommy, Debbie. His parents awkwardly stand by at the airport while they kiss. Why could they not let him have this moment? Then production asks Brandon who the most important person in his life is. He doesn’t answer. It’s clearly mama.
Brandon’s mom is of course running the whole evening. Julia just wants to stay in the hotel room with Brandon. But mommy dearest has dinner reservations. Julia seems really into Brandon but her mother is going to fuck it all up. It seems like they had sex before dinner maybe? Mom lays down the law about separate rooms. Julia says they should get married tomorrow. Then, Mom says that basically that she needs to get on birth control. Brandon’s mother is a nutbar. Brandon doesn’t stand up for Julia. Julia gets to the hotel room with Brandon. Things are very tense already. He mother is a cockblocker. Julia already wants to leave. Oh! Mommy paid for her flight. No sex for him tonight…
Mike & Natalie
I can’t believe that Mike kicked out uncle Beau for Natalie. That sucks. He is off to live with his brother for now. The Ukraine looks beautiful. I may have to add it to my list. Natalie’s mom is so sweet and supportive. I really want this couple to work. But we already know it doesn’t. What is in that long black carry on???
Mike seems a little bit excited to pick Natalie up from the airport. So there’s that. Sigh. He brought flowers. I’m not sure why this flower thing is an actual thing. There is luggage, there is exhaustion. Maybe flowers at the house when you get home? It just seems like one more thing to me. OH! the thing in the black carry on that appeared to be checked is a snowboard. Who knew? These two go to a nice hotel for their first night. Natalie doesn’t like her “purple” roses. She keeps complaining. WHO DOES THAT? Other than that she loves the hotel. And is ready to start her new life.
Tarik & Hazel
I love Tarik. But Hazel is not a good choice for him. How does he have such a huge travel budget? Hazel is from a very poor family in the Phillipines. He wants to rescue her. But we already know that Hazel wants a girlfriend. They have been engaged for two years. Tarik has custody of his seven year old daughter who is Autistic. Tarik is …did he say 47 and Hazel is 27? She also has a son who is 8. And she, is leaving her son in the Philippines. His dad also has primary custody. That’s a bad sign for Hazel.
Tarik has so many better options in the US. Why is he not with this hot black woman from America? They are just friends. I love her. He tells the hot friend why he and Hazel broke up before. There was pregnancy scare and he thought Hazel had an abortion. If I were Hazel, I’d have a serious problem with this friendship. Then Tarik hooked up with a Thai girl named Minty. Then he got back with Hazel and she wanted all the deets on Minty. She was interested in her. Sweetie, we do not have preconceived notions. But being bisexual doesn’t mean you can’t be monogamous. It seems like Tarik is still talking to Minty. Pretty girl says “It’s game over when Hazel gets here.
Zied & Rebecca
Rebecca has already been done this whole “marry a Muslim guy” thing and it didn’t work out before. She hasn’t learned her lesson with these young Muslim men. Her girlfriend was her boss from the PI company she worked for. She is skeptical.
Rebecca is super excited about Zied’s arrival. She goes out to buy him a video game console. He asked for it. She has no idea what he wants. This shopping experience is funny. I need this gamers on the show. I need to see more. I don’t live too far from Woodstock. Maybe a day trip is in order? lol. Okay, Rebecca is obsessed with Zied. She has blankets with their photo on them. That’s weird right? She treats him like a child. “Call me when you get to the embassy safely.” Let me know as soon as you know something. Zied says that his passport was taken for a week and he needs to come back later for the result.
Jovi & Yara
Yara’s first reaction to New Orleans was ” I saw fat people!” This was pretty much my favorite New Yorkers response too. LOL. Then he ate and I think sort of got it. It’s hot. We walk slow. We eat well. Or at least a lot. Yara hates the new apartment he is so proud of. Yara was not interested in going out to Bourbon street and Jovi is already pissed. She is tired after her long flight and wants to go to sleep.
Yara is a PITA. She doesn’t seem impressed by NOLA or Bourbon Street. She hates it and she is scared. I spent a few hours in NOLA once and I was riding cross country ALLLLLLLL the way across I-10 with a guy who had to stop and get gas every time his crappy car ‘s dashboard showed less than half a tank. He had all his worldly possessions in the car. We parked on the street and before we even got into our room, his car was broken into. They took most of his shit. Then we drove over night with the right passenger window with a trash bag flapping. It was God awful. So I get it. I have bad memories of NOLA too. Jovi wants Yara to spend one night at his mom’s. They are already fighting.