Tonight’s Below Deck recap will probably end with Shane getting a ticket home from Captain Lee. And I think that is about three episodes too late. In the meantime, Banjo’s favorite show, The Voice is on and I am voting my cold black heart out for Jim Ranger! But John Holiday is also amazing! Dayum, I am listening to John Holiday right now getting ready for this recap. WOW. The Voice is really great this season. I haven’t listened to music in years. And I am in love with this show. Plus, Banjo insists we watch it. Banjo is driving me bat shit. Okay it is time for Below Deck. And I am sobbing from listening to John Holiday. THIS IS WHY I DON”T LISTEN TO MUSIC! And I can’t see the screen. I need a moment.
We start with Rachel realizing that the caviar the guests requested was not delivered. Ut Oh. Shouldn’t she check this when provisions come in? Meanwhile, Shane seems like he is on vacation watching the crw work. The caviar situation is resolving itself. Meanwhile, I am finishing off all the single serve chips and Cheetos for dinner. Captain Lee is stalling for the caviar delivery. I could listen to him all night. Sadly, the caviar is nowhere in sight. This is not good. It finally arrives and Rachel dropped some of it on the floor. Ten second rule, Rachel! Captain Lee is dining with the guests and other being super late, the guests are very happy. And someone has a lot of “that’s what she said!” jokes. Rachel is introducing every course. Captain Lee says she is the best chef he has ever had. So why did the previews show her storming off the boat?
The crew is bitching about these guests gut I kind of love them. I’d totally be down for the white wine challenge in a white dress. Captain Lee was asked to wear a special shirt for his attempt. Shane has a girlfriend? Shane falls asleep talking to her. And yet, the birthday dinner roars on. The deck crew, minus Shane of course is now having to try to save the deck and get up all the wine stains. Elizabeth is on late night service. She is doing a terrible job and Francesca is over her. james tries to lure Elizabeth into drinking with him after everyone goes to bed.
Shane Is Untrainable!
The next day, Shane oversleeps by over an hour and a half. And he was the first one to go to bed. Then he forgets his radio. Apparently, he fell asleep talking to his girlfriend and his phone died. Eddie gives Captain Lee the rundown on all of Shane’s issues. Rachel’s breakfast is another huge success. Izzy is killing it on deck. Elizabeth was the weakest link at breakfast. Captain Lee has a really windy docking. His thruster is not working. Allegedly. But, I think Captain Lee would be cussing a LOT more if this were really happening.
Miraculously the thruster starts working just in the nick of time. Unfortunately, Shane had one job. Stern lines. And he was not even at the stern of the boat. Then he was incapable of throwing the lines. Captain Lee is furious. Eddie rushes to save the day. Captain Lee reams the deck crew out the second the guests left. Shane goes to write down the instructions in his trusty notebook.
At the tip meeting, Captain Lee raves over Rachel’s food. Then he says there are “a couple” of people whose work gives him concern. Shane apologizes to the crew saying Eddie makes him nervous. Captain Lee calls Shane to the bridge with Eddie. And there it ends. Apparently, next week, Elizabeth mixes bleach with soap. Oddly, there is a guy there saying basically that makes mustard gas. Really? I feel like I’ve probably done that before. Is this what happened to my brain? It looks like things get really crazy next week.
WWHL With Rachel & Shane
Rachel worked with Kate in 2013. They are still in contact. She was a bit star struck by Captain Lee. Rachel also applied to be on ANTM for season four. I miss that show. Andy is really hard on Shane. Not that he doesn’t deserve it. Shane is coming off badly. Rachel seems sweet. Rachel is on lockdown in Italy right now. I’m bored. Do they still make Sun-In? I keep having a desire to cut or dye or shave my head. lol. All Shane wants to talk about is paper straws and sustainability. He really doesn’t answer any questions.