Can you guys believe this has been dragged out for THIRTEEN SEASONS? The time has come for the first RHOA recap of season thirteen. I looks like Porsha will still be in Kentucky. Kenya will be meeting with a divorce lawyer. Cynthia and Mike will fight over the wedding and Kandi will send Riley off to New York for college. End of recap. Okay fine…. I’m on it! 🙂 But of course Banjo is driving me nuts because I’ve had a busy day. He knows the exact wrong time to have to go out and get all needy. Also, I just realized I missed the Warnock debate against Loeffler.
We start with all the ladies giving their first interview about the pandemic and the Black Lives Matters movement. It’s deep. Kandi is crying. Porsha is angry. We get footage of Porsha and Dennis peacefully protesting in Atlanta. And they got gassed by the police. I remember watching this in real time on social media. It somehow seems even worse watching it again so many months later when nothing has changed. I’m literally feeling sick to my stomach.
Kandi Is Used To Gagging
Do we have a new show runner this season? I forget. But the production in the first four minutes was amazing. Kudos to Truly Original. Next up, some of the girls are coming to Lake Bailey for a summer get together outdoors. Actually, the set is in Cynthia’s driveways. Cynthia was stuck in LA for months during quarantine but finally made it back to Lake Bailey. It seems that Cynthia and Mike did not bond during quarantine and instead they argued a lot. It happens. The first topic was complaining about Covid tests. Kandi said she had the one in the throat the last time and it was better than the nose one. Cynthia says she heard it was worse. Kandi said Todd thinks it is because she um… uses her throat for a lot of things.
Did Cynthia get new tits? Every photo I pulled tonight had her tits right on out there and I don’t remember them being that big and fake looking. She used to have small ones, like a model. Kandi has to tell her to cover that shit up. Marlo shows up and is acting like a complete fool in her face screen taking everyone’s temperature and measuring the distances between their chairs. The girls are really proud of Porsha. Or as Marlo calls her Porsha Luther King. Also, Cynthia says she has gained twenty pounds. Cynthia and the girls are worried about Kenya. Cynthia calls her. Kenya acts like she has a bad connection.
Kenya Goes To Meet With Her Divorce Lawyer
I’m really sad for Kenya and the drama that her marriage to Marc has brought her. I remember how happy she was to be married. And then to be pregnant and have a family. This is sad. She looks like all the light has been drained out of her. Brandon calls her on the way. She tells him she has gained 30 pounds in quarantine. Then, she cries when she tells him that Marc has been snappish with her. She feels defeated and is struggling just to drive to the lawyer’s office. She says she is tired of being sad and she can’t get herself together.
Kenya had to take a Covid case before she could see her lawyer in person. She tells her lawyer that when Covid happened, it really affected Marc’s businesses. Kenya feels that Marc takes everything out on her. Basically, Kenya says that she was a delicate flower walking around on eggshells and that is not who she is. She says she is a great communicator. Then production places old footage of Kenya calling her castmates hoes and cunts. That not very Miss USA. Kenya says that she feels abused. The lawyer is concerned about custody. They determine to take care of that before filing for divorce. Kenya says that Marc has never had Brooklyn alone. Ever. Production asks Kenya what Marc’s relationship is like with his other kids. She declines to answer.
Porsha Goes To Jail
On June 14th, Porsha goes to Kentucky to protest the lack of justice for the murder of Breonna Taylor. Dennis is still going to protests with her at this time. Porsha posts a video prior to the protests that basically says she is a peaceful protester and she is not suicidal. This could be used as evidence if she goes to jail and ends up dead.
The Bravo crew did not travel to Louisville because of Covid. So we have to rely on footage shot by Porsha, Dennis and others in the group. I’ve already seen all of this footage. We end the episode with the protest that if I recall correctly was outside of the Kentucky Attorney General’s house. Porsha is nervous. She knows she will likely be arrested. A large group of protesters sit in the yard chanting. A HUGE show of force shows up and Porsha gets arrested. The girls all start calling each other about Porsha’s arrest. They are proud of her. After 13 hours, Porsha and 87 other protesters were released from jail. Porsha says that being inside a cage with 30 other women changed her life. Porsha she says she plans to continue protesting.
Riley Goes To College
Riley is all grown up! She looks like a full on woman! She is headed to NYU where she plans to study to be a lawyer. Riley feels like her dad should finally step up and help with her college. Kandi says her dad owes her six figures in back child support. He calls Kandi out of her name still. Kandi tries to encourage Riley try to have a relationship with her dad. She is no longer interested. She already tried that.
Cynthia Goes To Check On Kenya
Cynthia and the Bravo crew go to check on Kenya. Then, Kandi shows up and these three will start off very close this season. But, it won’t stay that way for long. For some reason Kenya makes them both wear blue paper booties into her house. Oh I guess the booties are for the muddy backyard where Kenya is putting in a giant pool and a pool house and a play area for Brooklyn. Apparently, Marc didn’t want a pool. However, Kenya is just doing Kenya at this point. Cynthia says she can’t swim and Mike can’t either. Kandi says she can doggy paddle. Cynthia says, “And doggy style!”
These three talk about being mothers in quarantine. Kenya says she took Brooklyn to see Marc a couple of months ago. Basically, Marc is a dick. Kandi and Cynthia just want her to file for divorce. Cynthia says she has given the marriage all she has. It’s time to end this.
Mike & Cynthia Aren’t Getting Along Much Better
Mike is enjoying the fact that they are alone at Lake Bailey with no kids. So they can let the freak flag fly. Back in LA things were worse because there was Cynthia’s daughter, her girlfriend and Mike’s daughters. But in Atlanta, the wedding planning is the causing them new stress. Georgia’s governor has limited gatherings to 50 people. And that is still about 45 too many in my opinion. Cynthia has 250 guests. Cynthia wants to have her dream wedding this time since her marriage to Peter was kind of a shit show. She just wants her day.
Basicially, Cynthia says that if they are meant to be married on 10/10/20 then the restrictions will be lifted by then. And if not? She wants to postpone. Mike is irritated by this. He thinks he should be enough. The marriage should be more important than the wedding. It’s still late June at this point. And this argument will continue until November.