Y’all. Today was the day I fell down the rabbit hole. I’ve been trying not to do it too early. But, today it happened. I got hooked on Lifetime Christmas movies. I’m currently watching one while drinking Prosecco out of a wine glass that someone sent me that says, “I’m sorry you’re old.” I am officially in old lady Lifetime movie mode. But I shall pause my newfound source of mindless happily ever after movies to recap this nonsense. Captain Lee is going to PULL THIS
CAR Mega Yacht OVER! This episode. Apparently, the churren will not stop squealing like pigs and kicking the backs of the seats. Metaphorically. This should be a good Below Deck recap despite me trying to fall asleep on you.
I’m going to try to fly through this Below Deck recap quickly because I have to delete the recording ASAP because Bravo tacked WWHL and that chat thing onto the end and I have a movie to tape and The Good Doctor and The Weakest Link! Wait that is still too many shows… Oh and Hannah got engaged today! Congrats! Let’s just get going.
Lunch On The Beach Is A Shit Show
I already got behind on the recap helping to make something trend on Twitter. Why is Ashling crying, again? Oh I think it is jet lag. Eddie is just a shitty bosun. This entire crew is falling the fuck apart. The children charter guests are passing out everywhere. This is one shit show of a charter. Ashling’s underwear still has not arrived. Captain Lee got bananas on his Cheerios. Is it a special day? 🙂 Rachel is swaying the children to eat what she feels like cooking. Genius. Izzy is really starting to shine on deck.
It’s time for the first beach picnic lunch of the season. These are usually a disaster. Elizabeth doesn’t feel confident as second stew because of the way Francesca “promoted” her. The deckhands don’t seem to understand how beach lunches work. The guests appear to be starving to death. It’s been three or four hours since their Lobster Benedicts. Francesca seems to think the second stew is in charge of sunscreen for the children. Why didn’t she make sure it was packed if it was so important and obvious?
Eddie Is The New Kate
Captain Lee’s new ear to the boat since Kate is gone is Eddie. And that is unfortunate. Eddie is giving a report on the interior. Why? Somehow the guests wanting to eat outside is bad for Rachel, why? I seem to be struggling to follow this episode. Rachel is doing a great job with the meals. They make it through another night. Everyone is exhausted and so am I. I slept well last night but somehow I’ve been tired and a bit under the weather all day today. Rachel makes duck and waffles. I’m getting ready to make a caribbean inspired Cornish hen for Thanksgiving. Oh we are done with the children. I guess it is someone else whose cruise is cut short.
At the tip meeting, Captain Lee threatens everyone. And the tip was super low. Only a thousand each. He says Francesa and Eddie are carrying the load. Rachel feels like Francesca falls to communicate. But she didn’t dare bring it up at the tip meeting when Captain Lee was singing her praises and mad at everyone else except for Eddie.
Is What’s His Name Leaving?
It’s shore leave and I am shocked that Shane is still there. Is it James that no one can understand? Their shore leaves are so boring. Whoever it is, he is already wanting to bail. Too much work for this one. It seems like this is not the episode where Captain Lee turns the boat around. I’m going to have to miss Captain Lee on WWHL unless they rerun it tonight. Y’all catch me up on that. Rachel teaches what’s her name how to hire a uniform. Shane is a whiner. I am bored. Was this episode a dud or did I just not get it?