It’s time for another Southern Charm recap. YAY? There is a tiny bit of breaking news this week regarding Southern Charm. Madison has bought herself a pair of boobs. I never really noticed her boobs before so I’ll have to watch for them tonight. The new ones actually look nice and don’t seem to be huge. In other news, Thomas Ravenel is still filing paperwork trying to get a judge to give him their children so he can take them to Aiken to live with Baby Mama number two. Thomas basically offered her a large increase to her child support in exchange for the kids. That’s just sick. And just how Thomas is. That said, Kathryn does appear to be…a bit off this season.
We begin tonight with the Southern Charm Version of The Odd Couple. Apparently, Austen is Felix and Craig is Oscar. At least that appears to be the script. I think they are both Oscars and Austen just doesn’t like other people making messes in his house. They go straight from bickering to planning a boys night out drinking. Kathryn has a mess of her own at her house. She is trying to get the house she inherited in Monck’s Corner in order. Oh, but she is still staying with Thomas. And she thinks they might be back together. Oh girl… Shep and Danni go to a dog park that sells beer! It is stupidly located right on the marsh. Shep is going on a double date with Austen. Danni tries to keep Shep from being a dick.
Leva is planning to invite the girls over to her house an Iranian dinner. She also pronounces Irani incorrectly. John Pringle goes to visit his sister Jenny and her husband Alan. The point of the scene is to tell Jenny about Madison. And also facetime his boys. We also get a gander at his ex-wife who looks a lot like Madison.
An Awkward Double Date
After Shep went out of his way to humiliate Austen and Madison at his ridiculous dumb and dumber party, and then followed it up by being a dick at Austen’s wine event, I see no reason for this double date to even happen. It seems that Madison and Austen are just gluttons or punishment. Or production is just riddled with assholes. It seems like Austen is out for a bit of revenge. He asks Shep if he and Taylor are an actual couple. They decide to define their relationship right at the table. Shep announces that they are in fact a couple. Shep has a girlfriend. Poor girl.
The moment I update my tags and remove Anna Heyward, Craig’s assistant who does all the work, she calls and “wakes him up”? You know, despite the fact there is a cameraman in his bedroom. Anna tries to motivate Craig to find a rental while he is waiting on his asbestos removal at his house. He does manage to rouse himself in time to go out with the guys. Everyone is hungover from the beer tent event. Especially, Craig. Craig is not going to drink much. John Pringle is throwing them back and trying to pick up young, blonde girls with dad jokes. Shep arrives ready to drink and flirts with the young girls. John Pringle tells Austen he is coming for Madison. The guys go on a full out bar crawl and Craig’s plans to go easy on the booze completely disappears.
The Iranian Dinner Party At Leva’s
I hate when these people talk on their cellphones while driving. Especially in a rain storm. Leva’s mom has been cooking all day. And Leva hired someone to make her house look like an Iranian castle in between. It’s looks like the traditional tahdig (crispy rice) and fessonjun (a chicken dish) is there plus a ton of other delicacies. Suddenly, I am missing Asa. The girls get a mini education about the Iranian Revolution of 1979.
They chat about Republic the most popular Charleston bar Leva owns. That is where Kathryn met Thomas. It’s very popular with the young crowd looking to hook up. Madison shares that she raided Patricia’s closet for the event. Patricia showed her a large diamond ring and then told her, “You ain’t getting that from Austen.” Does anyone else think Patricia is way over invested in the life of her decades younger hairdresser? Madison said the comment really hurt her feelings.
It looks like we are about to get to the bombshell news from the title. Thomas has knocked someone up. Kathryn gets a conveniently timed text during desert. She runs to find Danni to tell her. The woman is having the baby (actually, she already did). Kathryn found it out from her lawyer. Thomas didn’t tell her. Then Kathryn tells everyone. She is six or seven months along at this point. She’s been pregnant the whole time she has been living with him.