Despite the fact that most of these women have no idea where Portugal is, nevertheless, off we go. I am kind of looking forward to this RHOP recap as it is one of the better seasons currently airing. That’s not saying much because RHOC really sucks hind teat this season. I am excited for Real Housewives of Salt Lake City this week. But it is coming at the 10 o’clock time slot at least or now. It seems that they were hoping that RHOC would be a good lead in. It is not. No one is really watching RHOC. So RHOSLC may get the 9 pm slot. In other news, I’m sad tonight after the passing of Alex Trebek. So I’ll probably be a little bit slower than usual tonight. He was such a great man.
Still Not In Portugal…
I’m going to miss Monique on this episode. 🙁 I hope she still gets airtime somehow. This show has the best taglines in years. Jesus. We are not even to the airport yet. Let’s move this along. I can’t stand Candiace. I just can’t. And, I wish she would have stayed home and Monique would have gone. Did she just ask her mommy for permission to buy luggage? Oh there Monique is filming with Karen. I never expected to like Karen. But shockingly, I do like her this season. I can’t believe that Ashley is leaving the baby with Michael. Ashley is team Monique because Monique didn’t release footage of Michael grabbing the crew guys ass. That whole legal drama was stupid. It was an ass grab. Not an assault.
Finally, we get to the airport and on the plane in first class. Or maybe business. Yeah that is totally business class or maybe even coach on some airlines. How the hell is this a 19 hour flight? We’re going to Europe, not Australia. Madeira is beautiful though. And they probably had to take a connecting flight from Lisbon, or maybe even another connecting flight from Paris. I can’t imagine touching down in Paris and not staying in Paris for a couple of days.
They Arrive At Night For Dinner At The Hotel
I love how they pretend they decided to have dinner at the hotel. Production had everything set up in advance for filming. Is it morning or evening? I would never leave that hotel. It is amazing. I spend a LOT of time in my hotel room Paris. Sometimes my friends at the K+K call to check on me if I don’t come down and send me room service. LOL. Gizelle and Wendy come for Ashley and Michael’s relationship. Oh shit, Ashley is about to tell Candiace that she wrote a statement supporting Monique in the legal drama. But first, Karen comes after Gizelle’s relationship with Mr. Chocolate. He literally fucks anyone he can. An argument ensues.
Even Robyn takes Karen’s side. Gizelle is very secretive about Jamal and they are all very open with their relationships. Gizelle is pissed that Robyn does not have her back. Especially since she just went ring shopping with Juan. Savoy Palace is LIFE GOALS. I really hope we can all travel again soon. When Banjo kicks the bucket, I am getting the fuck out of here to SOMEWHERE that will take me.
I Just Want To Go Home
I am not a bit surprised that Ashley is freaking out. When I travel, I miss my dog so much that it is barely even worth it. I can’t imagine having a kid. She can’t get in touch with Michael. She has no idea who is putting her child to sleep. Michael just hangs up on her. He’s such a dick. She is probably going to bail on the trip.
Robyn and Gizelle talk about how Gizelle is so secretive about Jamal. The next morning on day 2, Ashley is tying to talk herself out of going home. Candiace is trying to stop worrying about the court cases. Ashley and Karen talk about Jamal. Karen is coming for Gizelle after years of attacks by Gizelle. Ashley says that she probably overreacted to Michael being late getting home.
The Ladies Ride The Cable Cars
This trip looks so amazing. I must get to Portugal. I am not sure if I went there as a child or not. My Mama dragged me and daddy to basically everywhere. And we spent like one night in every city. Maybe two in Paris. All Wendy wants to talk about is her degrees. Why is she so pressed with Karen? Wendy is just awful. These women haven’t even bothered to learn a single word or Portuguese. Not even, hello, goodbye, thank you… etc. When I went to Romania chasing an artist, I at least knew that much.
But Wendy wants to talk about her doctorate. NOBODY CARES, WENDY! Karen says if she felt offended, she is sorry. Can we please move on? Karen and Gizelle get into it when Karen says that Gizelle needs to be cautious with Gizelle. Then Jamal facetimes and says hello to everyone. Karen is not impressed. And next week, things seem to get crazy!