Thank Goodness for Nanette who doesn’t really know it but she is totally my Ladysitter who keeps me on track these days. Otherwise I would not have known that I am supposed to be doing a Southern Charm recap tonight. I am not really excited about it. Production is not really excited about it. Thankfully, it will be a short season and likely the last season.
I feel like these Bravo shows are just dragged on and on and on much after their expiry date. But, let’s do this I guess. It will be nice to see Charleston. Here we go. This season started filming at the end of 2019 and then because Bravo rejected their first episode and told them to recast their new people. Then, all the normal females quit the show during the second attempt at filming. Probably, because they decided to try to bring Thomas back. It’s just been a shit show. This is going to suck.
Filming In A Pandemic
So we start with them pretending like they took Covid seriously. They did not. They kept right on partying and eventually half of them got the virus. And then we back up six months. This show went straight to the crapper when they got rid of K. Cooper Ray. Why are Craig and Austen living together? Apparently, Craig has an asbestos problem and it’s a temporary thing. But Craig’s pillows are a great success! I knew they would be. Austen and Madison are back together just in time for filming! Shocker!
Things at this point are good with Kathryn and Thomas. Custody is settled. The kids are adorable and happy and she is living in a “temporary” house for filming. AGAIN. But sadly, Thomas is trying to take the kids away again. Because, asshole. And he has another kid. Oh HELL NOE. Kathryn is living with Thomas? He just strolls in wearing his stupid white jeans. Is she homeless or something? I’m already grossed out. Kathryn is renovating her townhouse in Monck’s Corner. I am so far behind because I have no idea what I am watching here.
Madison Has A Son?
Did we know this? I really feel like I don’t pay attention to this show much. Because, it’s exhausting. I also don’t care about her or her relationship with Austen. I forgot how annoying Patricia is. She of course entertains Shep on the first episode. She seems to try to be Lisa Vanderpump. I just can’t with this. Apparently, Shep is having a party. Ugh. I hate this season already. Shep has a girlfriend? How convenient. Shep is trying to rehab his image. I am not buying any of this. Especially about his being so awful to a homeless person. I thought I had a post about that but I can’t find it. Shep’s party has a dumb and dumber theme. That seems about right.
Craig and Kathryn go out for drinks. She points out that she went to rehab for weed not alcohol. So she is drinking again Not that it matters but I am fine with it as long as she is not pregnant. I want all of these things. I want the boiled peanuts, I want the cheese plate (I AM OUT OF CHEESE!! This will not happen again when I finally muster the energy for the grocery store. I want the beer. And I want the bourbon.
And This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things!
Kathryn starts a storyline about Cameran’s husband Jason having an affair. This bullshit is why Cameran quit, Chelsea quit, Danni quit and it’s really a fucked up thing to do. Production lost their shit when Cameran quit because she was the queen bee. I know we like to think it is Kathryn, but she does all the narrations, she does whatever she is told to do. She is easy to work with and a big driving force for the show. This is just some ridiculous bullshit Kathryn and even if it were true. That’s a nasty move. Even Craig knows it is not true.
Shep’s girlfriend is straight out of central casting. I don’t believe this relationship at all. I don’t hate Madison at all for some reason. I wish she would get a better boyfriend, but I find her to be likeable. Your mileage may vary, but we don’t have much to work with this season. Craig tries to deal with the fact that Kathryn is lying about Cameran’s husband. Craig talks to the new girl whose name I don’t recall. She also sticks up for Cameran.
Dumb & Dumber
It’s time for Shep’s party and at least it is in a nice Charleston home. Some guy named Peter shows up with his girlfriend and apparently he had hooked up with Madison. Shep is being a douchebag. As usual. Patricia and Whitney show up. And it is dark outside! It’s probably all of 8 pm and she is out. It’s a rare Danni appearance, because she quits the show right after all this. A guy named John Pringle shows up and I think he is one of the new people, but really I don’t even care. At least he has roots in Charleston.
There is no food at this party. Patricia tries to get Madison together with John Pringle. She’s not an Austen fan either. Really, are there Austen fans? I’m not hating on John Pringle just yet. 🙂 Cam texted Kathryn about her lies about Jason. Kathryn doesn’t care. I get it kind of because Cameran did talk a lot of shit about Kathryn when she was going through her whole ordeal. But still. And there it ends. In the previews it looks like Danni comes for Kathryn. I can say that as a HUGE Kathryn fan, I am probably not going to be one this season.
What did y’all think about the premiere?