Alright here we go with what I pray is the last episode of this shit show. I pray that there is no part three of this. This is hopefully my last Below Deck Med recap of the season. We all know that Sandy and Malia are both back for the next season in Croatia. Is it wrong to hope that they all fall overboard and have to be replaced mid season?
We begin with Andy informing Hannah that her vape pen is a THC pen not a CBD pen. Hannah points out that either cartridge can be used in the pen. They are interchangeable. Leave Hannah alone. I think we would all need to be medicated to be stuck on a boat with Sandy and Malia. Bugsy says that it was obviously THC. Then Jess says that she had a THC pen too after Rob outs her for it. Wow. Rob is an asshole. Sandy says that it is “so illegal.” Jess says she didn’t know. Malia says it is in their contract. Shut up Malia. Then Jess says what she had was actually CBD.
Hannah Has Receipts.
She has a letter from her doctor who prescribed the medication. Bravo puts up a statement that says that production received proof of the prescription 12 hours after she left the boat. Hannah says that the prescription was on the back of the box. Malia says you can buy valium over the counter in Spain. So it wasn’t illegal then you idiot! Also, the prescription was on the box which was in English, not Spanish. I am so sick of this discussion. You got her fired, Malia. You win. Captain Sandy if full of shit. You can cross international borders with your prescribed medications you fucktard! Can we PLEASE MOVE ON?!!!
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Alex clearly feels like I do. He seems all the way over this conversation. Malia now says they can’t take Advil PM at night either. Rob is ready to just shut down his laptop. I feel you Rob. My brain hurts. Andy is over it too. He literally bangs his head on a table. I am slamming beers. This is just dreadful. A viewer asks if any of the crew think that the plan to replace Hannah and Kiko was made before the ship ever sailed. OF COURSE IT WAS. We all know this. But the bitch squad and the clueless deckhands don’t believe it. Rob says that Jess had a weed pen. Then, Andy let’s Hannah go back to her perfect life. Thank God. Can we move on?
Aesha & Tom Join The Scene
Of course now that I am trying to eat my dinner (turkey pot pie) we finally change the damn subject. Now that Hannah is gone, perhaps Sandy will just SHUT THE FUCK UP! I love that Malia finds out that Tom had been cheating on her with his ex shortly after this happened. Malia and Tom are both awful people. Sandy of course laps at Tom’s asshole. There were a lot of questions about Malia having to coddle Tom when she should have been doing her job. Malia sort of regrets inviting Tom on the boat due to all the social media backlash. Then, a viewer question points out that Tom doesn’t follow Malia on Instagram. That’s probably because the ex he was two timing Malia with wouldn’t like it.
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If I end up going to hell in the afterlife, I feel like I will have to do nothing but recap Below Deck for all of eternity. I really need to work on redeeming my soul before that happens. Tom’s answer is clearly a lie and Malia’s face says it all. He basically says he takes breaks from social media because everyone calls him out on his assholery. Tom says he is getting death threats on social media. Please. They don’t even know if they are still together.
Rob & Jess
Finally, a new topic! What exactly went down in Bali and why did they ultimately break up? It seems the Bali trip went fairly well. Jess says that she would love to dish all the dirty laundry because it might deescalate the backlash she is getting online. Everyone thinks she is a nutcase and the breakup is all her fault. She implies that there is a lot we don’t know but doesn’t really tell us what went on. Jess admits that they moved to fast in the relationship. Jess says that Rob was in fact not in an open relationship and she found that out after they left Bali. She apparently talked to the ex girlfriend.
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Rob says that he doesn’t regret not going on the crossing. He said the trip to Bali was a trip he will never forget. And he loved Jess. Rob says that the reason the whole boat knew he was thinking of doing the crossing before Jess knew was because he was seeking opinions to help him decide what to do. Rob has no regrets. Jess still thinks that Aesha was very inappropriate. Aesha says she is shocked that her hand on Rob’s butt was such a huge deal. Rob sticks up for Jess and says she is not really a jealous person. Poor Alex. He looks so over all of this. Jess said that Rob sent Aesha a DM asking if she had taken any big cock lately and how did she like it? Aesha pretends like she she didn’t get the DM. Jess said it was on Facebook and she responded to it. BOOM! Busted! Rob admits sending it.
Let’s Wrap Up This Below Deck Med Recap!
Aesha has a boyfriend now. He is someone she went to high school with. Bugsy is really into Alex now. This causes Alex to wake up from his nap. She waxed is back? Is that a euphemism? They close out with highs and lows of the season. Malia at least says that her low was “everything that happened with Hannah.” Alex says his low was the drama on the boat. Alex says the whole experience was a blast. THANK YOU GOD THIS SEASON IS OVER!
Oh Yay! Below Deck is back in the Caribbean! It looks so good!
Can you believe Sunday said Tom was a professional with experience, unlike Kiko!!! Professional’s that act like a baby make a bad name for that profession.
My jaw dropped. Captain Lee (who is the real captain, as Sandy ain’t) said temper tantrums have no place in the workforce. Captain Lee 100%.
Sandy not Sunday.
TT thankyou for taking one for team!!! I can’t anymore with Sandy, the sound if her voice is like nails on a chalkboard.The worst part about this is that here we go again, another below deck, what has it been like 25weeks so far, I need a God damn break! At least its captain Lee the only person that should have a show! I like him but I’m so sick of all these God damn boat shows, stop this please bravo. Sandy and her first mate Malia need to go walk the plank, you two have officially killed this franchise for me. If you idiots stand for women power then I’m jumping off this raft. I have an idea take the most hated cast members, Bobby, sandy, Malia, jwow, the Russian line cook, mermade girl, put them all in a boat to see who kills one another first. I bid you adieu to this stinker of a season as I take my prescribed valium and CBD pen🤦♀️#neveragain
Now that show I would watch.
Why this show went from being in my top 5 to my least fave in two words: Sandy. Malia.
Why I look forward to Below Deck Original in three words: Capt. Lee. Eddie.
AGREE!!!!!!
But no Kate! Bummer!
You yook the words right out if my mouth!
TOOK
Did I see a clip where Sandy actually said she consulted a maritime attorney?
Such bullshit.
LOFL! I didn’t even notice until I saw it on Instagram that YOU added the very apropos title!
#SHUTYOURPIEHOLESANDY
Omg! They sound like the progressive insurance commercial!!
A shout our for Alex who did his job with good humor, no drama, and no complaining. He was my favorite of the season. I am so looking forward to regular Below Deck. The clips look good. Way more interesting than this reunion. I swear, I was more interested in the turkey pot pie in your recap than anything that happened during tonight’s show.
Re: sandy n malia: i had to put on closed captioning cuz if I those two spawns of satan voices make me want to vomit. They are such bitter angry wastes of oxygen.
That’s what I did!
“Two spawns of satan.” The BEST, most accurate descriptions of these two I have seen.
After I watched this episode I deleted the show from the series manager on my DVR. It was always second-rate compared to the original series but Sandy and Malia have made it unwatchable. Cannot wait to see Captain Lee.
I will miss Hannah and Kiko!
But like a moth drawn to a flame, will I watch an episode of next season? I hope not! Sandy and Malia are mean spirited and they can take their sidekick Bugsy with them.
Did anyone notice in the beginning of reunion part one, the print above Sandy ‘s head still had the foam protection on the corners but after a few scenes they were removed? I guess I was trying to divert my attention to anything else besides her fake smile and ugly disposition.
I did notice that also. I’m so glad this shitshow is finally over. Thanks TT for taking one for the team with the recaps.
Mmmmmm. Turkey Pot Pie. I haven’t had one of those in I can’t remember how long.
Going to watch tonight 👁
After the first episode of the reunion – was not expecting anyone to take responsibility for their behavior (aka Sandy and Malia)
Malia you betrayed Hannah’s mental illness and in turn Tom betrayed you
That is what Karma is for though – so watch out Sandy because you are next in line
Sandy and Malia: Sanctimonious and Malicious. They deserve each other. Put them on a boat with a crappy crew and demanding guests and we’ll all scream about the laundry piling up.
Teach BRAVO a lesson!! Do not watch these two idiots!!!!!
I so felt Jess’s annoyance when she was battling to get a word in. Stop interrupting, Sandy and Malia!
I love when Hannah told Malia to just pipe down, maritime law, we get it. 🙂
Did anyone notice Malia trying really hard to show off her jewelry? At one point, she had her hand kind of on her neck so that we could see the ring on her index finger. And the constant hair flipping and tucking to show her gigantic earrings. It seemed so practiced.
I have watched every season but I will not watch Sandy and Malia again. During the reunion, they both kept repeating the phrase maritime law over and over as though that defends their actions. Even if you have to terminate someone’s employment, you do not use secret spy photos of their belongings, burst into them in the bathroom, follow a terminated employee around the dock so they can comfort you cause firing them was hard for YOU, or especially shout the f word from the gang plank at a newly terminated employee who is trying to get away from you. It’s not just what they did, it is the unprofessional way they did it. If this was by the book, Sandy needs an updated HR book.
👏👏👏 “It’s not just what they did, it is the unprofessional way they did it.” Exactly!
Hannah was never my favorite. But she did not deserve Sandy, Malia, and Production going after her this way. I guess they did not count on Hannah handling it in a professional manner and not causing a scene, ruining their little plan.
I get Sandy and Malia doubling down on this. They are narcissistic idiots. But I cannot believe Production sees what is on social media, blogs, and questions submitted and did not dump Malia. I understand it might be difficult to find another “captain” before the new season starts filming. But bosuns are a dime a dozen.
First off thanks TT for all your recaps, you are better then watching the actual show in most cases. But I appreciate all the hard work that you put into the recaps that you do even when you are not feeling up to it, you never let us down. I have to say this is the best place to come to catch up, or just read the comments and see that others feel the same way as you (I) do makes a person feel not so alone. I personally himmed and hawed (is this right or what? lol) about this season, alot of the time I just couldn’t deal with Malia and Sandy, I don’t think I have ever seen Sandy so busy with the chef’s and the kitchen as much as this season, maybe I just never noticed it in other seasons. As for Malia, first did she have to really go and arrange all of Hannah’s meds and such and it looked like she layed it all out next to possibly Hannahs’ purse, that looked like a total set up to me….she took the perfect picture, she could have went to Hannah and spoke to her as a mate, and even told her she should go to Sandy and let her know what she had, and also that she hadn’t taken any of the meds. But she didn’t, and yes it def. seemed like she had it all worked out that Kiko was out right in time for Tom’s visit, as that’s all it was suppose to be but it turned out that hey why not just keep him on as the new chef, watching him freak out the way he did was almost pathetic, if it was one of the girls that had a couple of major meltdowns like that they probably would have been given their marching orders, but hey it was Malia’s Tom so she looked after him, she seemed to be in the kitchen more than she was working on the deck, and when she was on the deck it wasn’t for long as she needed to get back down to the kitchen because poor old Tom was not doing well, too bad she couldn’t have treated Hannah like she did Tom, but she’s not that kind of person, Hannah didn’t want to change rooms so Malia did whatever she had to in order to get back at Hannah, and now Tom and Malia are no more, karma is a bitch, and she didn’t waste any time coming for her. I’m not even going to start in on Rob….I will leave it up to the rest of you guys, I’m sure there will be someone who feels the same way I do about the guy. Stay well everyone. Again thanks TT for a great season, here that is.