Once again, I am going to do my 90 Day Fiance The Other Way Recap before RHOP. Sorry, not sorry this so is so much better than anything on Bravo. I love shows set in other countries. Sadly, most Bravo watchers do not. I miss Mexican Dynasties, I miss Ladies of London, why can’t we get the Australian housewives shows here anymore. Are Americans xenophobic? We have this and we have Amazing Race as our virtual travel during this pandemic. The fact that people don’t take advantage of it saddens me. But off we go. And you guys are my favorite. Don’t tell the others.
Jenny and Sumit
You would think that if there is anything we can all agree on it’s that love is love. Women married much older men all the time without being in love. These two are in love. And it is beautiful to see. Why can’t everyone just let them be happy. There are so few of us who are happen right now. LET THEM BE HAPPY! LOL, did Sumit just say that Jenny dominates him in the bedroom and he loves it? Why, yes, yes he did. Then Jenny gave him a promise ring. He wants to wait for the wedding ceremony so she takes it back until then. Sadly, the prognosis is not good. Jenny’s feelings were hurt. Sumit just wants to wait until he is divorced and wants to wait for the ring ceremony.
It is just one road block after another for these two. Sumit’s wife filed false criminal charges against Sumit for abuse when she found out about Jenny. She agreed to drop the charges once they came to an agreement about the divorce. But she hasn’t and he has a hearing. Also, she wants $500 a month in spousal support. They do not have the money. They live off Jenny’s social security. Now they need a lawyer. Wow she filed charges against his entire family! His parents are heartbroken. Poor Sumit is super anxious. Five hours later, the charges have been dropped. And no spousal support. I hope these two can be married.
Ari & Bini
These two are ready to go home with their two year old baby. I have to say this hospital was surprisingly modern and efficient. Ari is terrified to raise the baby without her mommy. Um, I’m pretty sure all first time moms feel shocked that they just get to take the baby home. When Banjo rescued me, he was my first dog. And I remember thinking, they are just going to let me be responsible for this dog? I have no idea how to care for a dog! I apologize if I am offending mothers everywhere. But, I would be way worse with a human baby! I realize it is not the same. But Banjo has managed to survive me for many years now. Even though it was touch and go with a lot of scary health issues the first few years.
Since they don’t have a carseat. Ari makes Bini walk the baby home. It’s a very short trip and I find this to be ridiculous. Ari takes the car. I agree with Bini, walking the streets of Ethiopia with the baby in the heat is way more dangerous, but he does it to avoid a fight. He gets home before she does. There is some sort of welcoming committee at the door with incense. This cultural difference of course infuriates, Ari. Oh and they are going to slaughter a sheep. I went to a wedding with my mother once in Libya and they did that. It was traumatizing. I reacted better than Ari and I was like 8. My mama would have jerked me baldheaded if I had acted this way.
I Just CAN’T With Ari
The next day the women in Bini’s family have more rituals and celebration. They have all cooked for her. The have flowers. They are ululating with joy. Ari plugs her ears. The aunties all want to hold the baby who is sleeping in a bassinet. They say the baby must be held or it will get a stomach ache (colic). The baby is passed around in the bassinet. Then, they ask about baptism. Ari says they are not sure if that can happen since she is Jewish. The aunties say all they need is her permission. This is a big deal. The aunties say they are going to set up the baptism. They haven’t even named the baby yet. They finally agree on Aviel Biniyam. He will go by Avi. Bini says anything to get to a baptism. Ari says she thinks baptisms are silly. WOW. But she gives her okay.
Jewish people do not believe in hell because they are the chosen ones, or Jewish people do not believe in hell because they just don’t believe in certain parts of the Bible? I’m confused. Either way they need to sprinkle or dunk that baby ASAP because he probably already has a plane ticket to America. Wait! Now she loves him so much? Bini is so happy to be a father. Apparently, even in Ethiopia, when a kid’s mom calls them by their full name that is a sign she is really pissed. Some things are universal it seems.
Next they go to the hospital for his one week check up. On the way Bini tells Ari tells her the baby will be getting a vaccine and a circumcision. She seems okay with it. Then they argue because Bini feels like Ari isn’t eating healthy foods for the baby. She gets pissed. At the last minute, Ari grabs the baby and refuses the circumcision.
Deavan & Jihoon
This is literally my favorite show on TV at this point. I get so excited about every couple we see. Jihoon has gone back to his job selling used cellphones. This is exactly what he got arrested for and was fined $15K. Deavan wants to see where Jihoon works. I was thinking it was like those guys that used to be in NYC with trench coats that opened up to show the stolen watches they were selling. But it looks like a legit store. The other employees are shocked to see his wife come to work with him. Then she asks his boss if the phones are stolen. Wow. His boss didn’t know that he used sell stolen phones. Deavan is about to get him fired.
I am exhausted. I have no idea why. I slept off and on until 3 p.m. and usually stay up all night but I am ready to go to bed. And I swear these two already got married. Maybe that was an engagement party? Now she wants some sort of fancy dream wedding with no guests on her side? Jihoon’s parents have reserved a site. But it is not good enough for Deavan. Deavan, on what planet is an American wedding three hours long? Even the Catholic weddings I have been to with all the sermons and ceremonies never took an hour. Who do you think will be there celebrating? Shut up! Oh she seems to be thinking about the reception. Her parents are coming?
Armando & Kenny
I want that roasted corn on the cob on a stick! I love street food. Since I grew up eating yummy street food in Libya, I have an iron stomach for it. This little family is driving back to their new forever home. I hope. Hannah is so excited to have her own room. This bedtime ritual is so sweet. Later, the family goes into town to eat. Armando does a fantastic job with Hannah’s hair and she is dressed to the nines. So pretty. When they are in the market, Hannah works Armando like a little girl who has daddy wrapped around her sweet little finger. I would probably buy her all the things too. But she is buying things like a dollar hair bow. Kenny whines. At lunch, Armando tells Kenny since he is not working he could take a Spanish class. You think?
Then Hannah asks her dad if would rather buy her a purse or a shaved ice? She’s good. He says he will buy her the shaved ice but she has to sit down. She does. Then she says, “What about the purse?” Kenny wants to know what they are saying. When Armando tells him, he calls him a pushover. And he is but that is none of Kenny’s business. Armando basically says she deserves a shaved ice. This does not bode well for this relationship. Kenny needs to STFU up and go learn some Spanish. Why are all the Americans on this show so rude? Armando says that Kenny needs to watch his tone. Basically, Armando says he spoils her because her mother died. Then, Kenny gets it.
Brittany & Yazan
I am so over Brittany. She is back in Florida and not getting along with Yazan. Yazan deserves so much better. Brittany has told Yazan that he needs to get a job and a place to live and money for her plane ticket before she will come back. I feel like TLC probably pays for the plane tickets. And he has a job. He is getting paid by TLC. I feel like they won’t let him be homeless for long. Still still Yazan now as two jobs. He is a taxi driver and also works at a barber show. Yazan is way too good for Brittany. He works 14 hours a day. WTF is she sacrificing? Oh shut the fuck up Brittany. Run Yazan! RUN!
We are back in Thotlandia and I am ready for this episode to be over. It is taking so long to write. I feel like I am slogging through mud! Then, I notice I am totally caught up, so I’m getting it done. It’s just a mental sluggishness. Brittany got her divorce. She trashes Yazan to her friend. Brittany seems to not be interested in Yazan anymore. Did this bitch just say she thought Yazan, the Muslim was a feminist?