There is not much on right now on Tuesday nights except for The Bachelorette and The Voice. I’m going to recap Don’t Be Tardy but probably not until tomorrow. I don’t listen to a lot of music (it can make me very emotional), but I do enjoy vocal competition shows! I still get emotional but my emotions are related to the people hoping to achieve their dreams if that makes sense. Anyway, my point, and I do have one is that this season of The Bachelorette is worth the watch. Clare falls in love at first sight with Dale and they leave the show together very early. And there is a lot of resentment from the other bachelors who don’t feel like they were given a fair chance. Hopefully, some of you will read The Bachelorette recaps this season?
I’m just a tiny bit behind because I should have started making dinner earlier. Also, I didn’t really have all the ingredients for my pork chop recipe (I FOUND PORK CHOPS IN THE FREEZER YESTERDAY! YAY! I really needed a mango and a sweet potato but, I just changed it up a bit as I could not force myself to the Publix today.
The First Date: Languages Of Love
The guys have to give words of affirmation to Clare as she is on a fake balcony. All of the guys all pour their hearts out. And then Dale says, “I think it goes without saying that I could not be more excited to be here.” He says that when he saw her spirit he found it easy to open up to her. Clare gets emotional. She says she is not used to all the kind words from men. Meanwhile, the guys not chosen for the first group date are doing cannonballs into the pool and generally having a good time. Suddenly, the group date guys all come sprinting back and run into their rooms. The other guys are all wondering WTF? And so am I.
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It seems the love language theme for the first date has moved on to gifts. So, all the guys are back in their rooms to retrieve a gift for Clare. The gifts for Clare include, a queen chess piece, a baseball, and a book. Dale somehow had perfume for dogs in his room? That’s odd. Then Clare is blindfolded for the physical touch portion of this date. I find this date to be a bit boring and ridiculous. The guys all hate watching her with the other guys. Especially Dale. Apparently, Clare is part basset hound because she claims to know who is who by their scent. All the guys are told to get ready for an after party where they will each get “quality time” with Clare.
Things Start To Go South
A few hours later, the guys are all excited about quality time with Clare. But no one seems to get that she is expecting them to pull her away for private time. She literally has to ask them to and that seemed to piss her off. Bennett, the over the top rich looking one, pulls her first. Clare wastes all of his time by complaining that no one tried to whisk her away. She is so pissed she goes back to the guys leaving Bennett all alone to yell at them. She’s kind of horrible.
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Dale gives a long speech about being on cloud nine. She pulls Dale away and ignores poor Bennett who got no time at all with her the first night. Yosef, this season’s villain gets into it with the other guys. Dale and Clare both declare having “strong feelings” toward each other. Claire is such a bad dater. The first alone time with a guy is not the time to cry over past relationships. Riley Christian gets the rose. Dale thought he would get it. Yosef wants to confront Clare over her bad behavior. This is not a good strategy.
The First Solo Date
Jason Foster is very excited that Clare picked him for the first one on one date. Only she didn’t. Production chooses who dates and when. Jason receives a note from Clare asking him to write a letter to his former self and she will do the same. Clare wants vulnerability and Jason is nervous. These sharing childhood drama dates as a first dates is ridiculous. All Clare talks about is abusive past relationships. It’s tedious. I may have spoken too soon about this being an interesting season. Tayshia can’t get her fast enough. This date is all about declaring bad opinions others have had about you. This is a conversation for your therapist, not for a first date. I’m going to check on the porkchops.
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Jason basically admits that he is a liar, and a player and a manipulator. He opens up about a lot of things. I sort of despise Clare at this point. She really needed a lot of therapy before coming on the show. Instead, she seems to think every date is a therapy session. Clare gives Jason the rose. Why is Jason on a date in basically a white undershirt? Then Clare throws the dress she wore in her final two ceremony with Juan Pablo into the fire. Clare thinks the date was great. I could barely sit through it.
Looking For A Man With Some Balls
On the second group date, the guys are forced to strip down and play naked dodgeball. Seriously? How degrading! Oh it looks like the actual game was clothed but the losers had to walk back to the house naked. Clare suggests that the dodgeball game will be strip volleyball and the game is over when the losing team has nothing on. What a classy girl. Jay Smith, was the last person standing on the red team and took out the final three players on the other team all by himself. He’s kind of cute and has a great body because he is personal trainer from Fort Lauderdale. Then I realize he is the idiot who came in the house in a straitjacket.
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The red team won the tournament leaving the guys on the blue team completely naked except for their shoes. Could you imagine if a Bachelor had all of the girls strip buck naked for him? Wait. It looks like they kept their jock straps on. Then Clare wanted to hug them all before they left for their walk of shame. The blue team is humiliated.
The Winning Team Gets Time With Clare
The five members of the red team are super happy to have more time with Clare. Eazy who is a front runner pulls Clare away first. He gives her a foot rub and lots of positive affirmations. Clare and Chasen, who is hot, talk about their bad high school experiences. Who does this on a first date? Then, Clare talks to Jay, the dodgeball MVP and one of the guys on the losing team, Blake, crashes their date! On the first episode, Clare told Blake that she appreciated him breaking the rules to check on her during quarantine. This apparently gave Blake reason to think he doesn’t have to follow the same rules as everyone else.
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Jay tells the other guys about it and they all go to confront Blake. Then Clare sends the winning team away. The she sends Blake back to the house. Blake feels rejected. Clare grabs Brandon for some one on one. Clare gets upset with Brandon right away because he doesn’t know much about her and can’t give a list of things he likes about her. Brandon is super hot and can do way better than Clare. She rudely sends him home before the rose ceremony. Clare is so needy for compliments. One of the five guys we didn’t see talk to her at all. Chasen gets the rose.
The Rose Ceremony
Yosef plans to tell Clare that he thinks the strip dodgeball game was degrading at the cocktail party. The first thing Clare tells the guys at the cocktail party seems to indicate that she has been forewarned that the dodgeball game was not appreciated by some of the guys. She says she really enjoyed the game and that it was all in good fun. One of the guys tries to pull her away right away, but she decides she wants to talk to Blake first. All the guys are sure he is being sent home for breaking the rules. Instead she gives him a rose to put his mind at ease. This is going to make Blake the enemy of all the other guys who stay. Apparently, rules don’t apply to Blake. Blake is going to get his heart broken.
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The other guys decide there is no need to follow the rules anymore. Next, Clare pulls Dale. They bond over the fact they both have a family member in assisted living that they can’t visit. Her mom and his sister are both in isolation. Then she puts a mask from the physical touch competition Dale to resume where they left off. The episode ends with them making out instead of the rose ceremony.
Next Week there is some sort of a roast and the guys go after Dale. This of course pisses of Clare. Because everything pisses off Clare. But she is not the only one who is pissed off. They guys are sick of her hooking up with Dale and some are threatening to walk. Also, Yosef goes nuts.
Okay…. Is anyone reading these longass recap? Anyone? Tap Tap Tap Is this thing on?
Ive never posted before but I read all your recaps. I just wanted you to know there are folks watch the Bachlorette and loving this recap 🙂
Thanks for commenting! I’m up to three comments LOL.
I also live your recaps but never comment. More importantly the pork chop recipe sounds amazing! Share please !
Claire has low self esteem and Dale is so handsome he knows it. I think they have chemistry but it’s very physical right now.
Thanks for commenting Katie. Someone has spoiled me with fancy porkchops from D’Artagnon so step one is to take out a second mortgage and but their Berkshire porkchops. I didn’t really have everything I needed to make these and they are still delicious. Put some olive oil in a very hot cast iron skillet. Sear chops for two minutes on both sides. Add pineapple chunks with the liquid, fresh mango, sweet potatoes, onions and diced jalepenos (buy the Mt Olive brand in a jar. Ain’t nobody got time to dice jalepenos plus the juice is good to add) Bake at 350 for 20 minutes or so. I’m probably forgetting something but it’s easy peasy and delicious. I didn’t have mangos or sweet potatoes and it is still really good. I added some organic lemon juice just because it was in the fridge and then made some jasmati rice and added a bit of chicken broth to the pork chop skillet. You really can’t fuck up these pork chop.
If you love sauerkraut as much as I do, you can just sear your chops and add a couplathree cans of Bavarian sauerkraut and maybe some onions before putting it in the oven. I am low on food supplies and plan to go to the Publix this week (but not today, Satan, not today) and I had no idea I still had a back of chops in the freezer. It’s been the highlight of this week.
Thank you so much for watching this. I was thinking about whether I should watch it or not since it is about to come on but your recap is so good that I think I can skip it. I just want to watch the week when Clare leaves. lol
I feel like that could be as soon as next week. But probably around week four or five?
I am. Also, first ever season watching the Bachelorette.
You picked a very interesting season to start on. This girl seems CRAY. I am pissed at how she is leading Blake on like some sort of backup to Dale when she knows Dale is the only one she cares about. She’s THE JUAN PABLO (asshole guy on the bachelor her led her on and dumped her at final two making him even more hated than the already was) of this season.
Well now I’m convinced. Usually, I watch the first few episodes and the last in the series. It’s been awhile and I need a change of pace. I have been watching way to many True Crime documentaries and really messed up suspense thrillers lately.
I have officially run out of true crime documentaries, I can’t believe it! I have a zillion channels and three streaming services!
I’ve been reduced to the Bachelorette. I find it hard to believe this woman is 39, she’s very childish imo. Then men playing strip dodge ball really made me want to 🤮 I’m thinking I’ll just wait til she exits to watch again.
I’d like to recommend THE CON on ABC for you. I’ve only seen the first episode and it was AMAZING. I’ve only seen the first episode and I am hooked. I may be repeating myself because I am not sure what thread I made the off topic comment in…. BUT THE FIRST EPISODE WAS FANTASTIC! It’s not like “girl you are so stupid” it’s like WTF FUCK IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE! The first episode at least was a very intelligent woman and a HUGELY elaborate scheme. Even when the show is named THE CON you still don’t see how this could be a con man.
Holy sheeeeet. This is so unreal yet real. Finishing The Con now. How in the world??..can’t wait to watch the next episode. Perfect timing. Looks like new epi just aired. Thanks! Great recommendation.
I have to agree TT, I watched the first episode of “The Con” and loved it! Definitely recommend.
We got snow today in the U.P. 🙂 It did melt by noon.
I did watch The Con about the woman, it was great. Saving last night’s for the weekend.
Oh I didn’t know there was another one. I don’t really know when it comes on. I thought I might watch it if I was bored, but my GOD that first episode was AMAZING!
I’m here! This is my first season watching “The Bachelorette.” Thanks for the recap. Please keep them coming!
Thanks for watching with me!
Clare is super annoying. Is it possible for her to find long-lasting love?
I can’t stand her. Why can’t she go on normal first dates?
I haven’t watched a season since pencildick Ari. Tuned into the first two episodes and forgot how funny the beginning of a bachelorette season can be. She may have rudely sent the sexy realtor home but he was obviously there for the “wrong reasons” lol
Also, she brings the F2 dress from Juan Pablo to burn?! Uhhh too many redflags for one episode. The woman is nutso
This is how she got to 39 without being married. I’m being a hypocrite here because I never married either. But….um…”takes one to know one?”
First 30 seconds, or maybe 29 seconds….and I doubt she’s 39. I’d say she’s 43 to 45. Is there an age limit for the B series? I mean, why lie? If it is just a few years. In my opinion, she is not 39. Um wait. Ok I truly jumped in to watch without realizing she’s been down this rodeo before…a couple times. New drinking game. Every time she says she’s 39, drink but that’s not safe. She says it so often.
I was really surprised when she was announced as Bachelorette, because this is her fifth go-round with the franchise. She had become a running joke in two seasons of Paradise for melting down on all the time. The show always made it look like she was ranting to animals, which was kind of funny,
And I didn’t watch Winter Games, but apparently she got engaged and then broke up with a guy on that show.
Thanks for doing the recaps, TT!
She looks so different now.
I’m going to give this show another shot. I watched it in the early seasons a thousand years ago, and the premise always icked me out. My mom watches it religiously and will talk about the current season cast like they are her kids. There’s probably something wrong with me, but the idea they can go in deep and seriously make out on a date, and then the very next night seriously make out with someone else, and then someone else, is just something I could not ever get past. The cameras don’t record everything, I am sure, and I take it too personally I guess. I never dated a serial dater for a good reason. The very idea of the face that I be kissing was up in another cooter less than 24-hrs ago is just too much for me to take. ~~~Shudder~~~
Yes! Reading & loving, thank you, TT!
thanks for watching with me!
I’m watching, and I love your recaps. I read it to my husband. We love your opinions. We feel the same way. You just say it better. 😊
She is terrible. I hope that Dale has already changed his name and moved to Siberia.
Couldn’t agree more on dodgeball. Were a woman told to strip down to a g-string there would be an uproar. This degrading behavior should not be acceptable. I expected more from a woman pushing forty. I had hoped for maturity and a less childish season. Oh well, I might be bowing out early on this one.
Don’t give up, she is leaving soon and Tayshia is coming to replace her and she is lovely.
If you stick with me, Tayshia is AMAZING and way more…. um…. sane….
I am smirking about a sane one as the Bachelor or Bachelorette. I don’t mean to judge…but I guess I did. And MAFS is very entertaining yet seems to crazy to me, different crazy but still. Yet fun to watch. I’ll stick to see this one leave and Tayshia to come in to replace. Should be a seamless transition, right?
Glad you are recapping this and hope it’s just the start of a new tradition!
I am here watching with you, the show I love to hate. I was not much of a watcher until about 2 years ago so I didnt know who Clare was. She’s a bit crazy, with way too much forehead botox. I cant stop looking at her shiny frozen forehead.
That first date with Jason was sooo long. I do like how they didnt even pretend to eat. I do like how it sort of broke the mold of first dates, but wow that was way too much sharing.
Dale is super cute but is no genius, for sure. Every other word was “like, I mean…” If he makes her happy, whatever. Yosef is definitely the crazy one.
I too was horrified about the naked vollyball. Oh if they do that just once on the bachelor it would be so great, people would be apoplectic, I hope some of the bachelors walk out after that, it was so stupid.
I won’t be watching but I will read your recaps. Haven’t watched the past few seasons either. I have no interest in Clare’s romantic pursuits. On Bachelor in Paradise a couple years ago she was so hard to watch, her desperation made me so uncomfortable. It’s exciting to experience lust at first sight but she should know by now that a relationship is more than just physical attraction.
Thank you for recapping the bachelorette! I enjoy your recaps and this will be a great addition during these crazy times.