There is not much on right now on Tuesday nights except for The Bachelorette and The Voice. I’m going to recap Don’t Be Tardy but probably not until tomorrow. I don’t listen to a lot of music (it can make me very emotional), but I do enjoy vocal competition shows! I still get emotional but my emotions are related to the people hoping to achieve their dreams if that makes sense. Anyway, my point, and I do have one is that this season of The Bachelorette is worth the watch. Clare falls in love at first sight with Dale and they leave the show together very early. And there is a lot of resentment from the other bachelors who don’t feel like they were given a fair chance. Hopefully, some of you will read The Bachelorette recaps this season?
I’m just a tiny bit behind because I should have started making dinner earlier. Also, I didn’t really have all the ingredients for my pork chop recipe (I FOUND PORK CHOPS IN THE FREEZER YESTERDAY! YAY! I really needed a mango and a sweet potato but, I just changed it up a bit as I could not force myself to the Publix today.
The First Date: Languages Of Love
The guys have to give words of affirmation to Clare as she is on a fake balcony. All of the guys all pour their hearts out. And then Dale says, “I think it goes without saying that I could not be more excited to be here.” He says that when he saw her spirit he found it easy to open up to her. Clare gets emotional. She says she is not used to all the kind words from men. Meanwhile, the guys not chosen for the first group date are doing cannonballs into the pool and generally having a good time. Suddenly, the group date guys all come sprinting back and run into their rooms. The other guys are all wondering WTF? And so am I.
It seems the love language theme for the first date has moved on to gifts. So, all the guys are back in their rooms to retrieve a gift for Clare. The gifts for Clare include, a queen chess piece, a baseball, and a book. Dale somehow had perfume for dogs in his room? That’s odd. Then Clare is blindfolded for the physical touch portion of this date. I find this date to be a bit boring and ridiculous. The guys all hate watching her with the other guys. Especially Dale. Apparently, Clare is part basset hound because she claims to know who is who by their scent. All the guys are told to get ready for an after party where they will each get “quality time” with Clare.
Things Start To Go South
A few hours later, the guys are all excited about quality time with Clare. But no one seems to get that she is expecting them to pull her away for private time. She literally has to ask them to and that seemed to piss her off. Bennett, the over the top rich looking one, pulls her first. Clare wastes all of his time by complaining that no one tried to whisk her away. She is so pissed she goes back to the guys leaving Bennett all alone to yell at them. She’s kind of horrible.
Dale gives a long speech about being on cloud nine. She pulls Dale away and ignores poor Bennett who got no time at all with her the first night. Yosef, this season’s villain gets into it with the other guys. Dale and Clare both declare having “strong feelings” toward each other. Claire is such a bad dater. The first alone time with a guy is not the time to cry over past relationships. Riley Christian gets the rose. Dale thought he would get it. Yosef wants to confront Clare over her bad behavior. This is not a good strategy.
The First Solo Date
Jason Foster is very excited that Clare picked him for the first one on one date. Only she didn’t. Production chooses who dates and when. Jason receives a note from Clare asking him to write a letter to his former self and she will do the same. Clare wants vulnerability and Jason is nervous. These sharing childhood drama dates as a first dates is ridiculous. All Clare talks about is abusive past relationships. It’s tedious. I may have spoken too soon about this being an interesting season. Tayshia can’t get her fast enough. This date is all about declaring bad opinions others have had about you. This is a conversation for your therapist, not for a first date. I’m going to check on the porkchops.
Jason basically admits that he is a liar, and a player and a manipulator. He opens up about a lot of things. I sort of despise Clare at this point. She really needed a lot of therapy before coming on the show. Instead, she seems to think every date is a therapy session. Clare gives Jason the rose. Why is Jason on a date in basically a white undershirt? Then Clare throws the dress she wore in her final two ceremony with Juan Pablo into the fire. Clare thinks the date was great. I could barely sit through it.
Looking For A Man With Some Balls
On the second group date, the guys are forced to strip down and play naked dodgeball. Seriously? How degrading! Oh it looks like the actual game was clothed but the losers had to walk back to the house naked. Clare suggests that the dodgeball game will be strip volleyball and the game is over when the losing team has nothing on. What a classy girl. Jay Smith, was the last person standing on the red team and took out the final three players on the other team all by himself. He’s kind of cute and has a great body because he is personal trainer from Fort Lauderdale. Then I realize he is the idiot who came in the house in a straitjacket.
The red team won the tournament leaving the guys on the blue team completely naked except for their shoes. Could you imagine if a Bachelor had all of the girls strip buck naked for him? Wait. It looks like they kept their jock straps on. Then Clare wanted to hug them all before they left for their walk of shame. The blue team is humiliated.
The Winning Team Gets Time With Clare
The five members of the red team are super happy to have more time with Clare. Eazy who is a front runner pulls Clare away first. He gives her a foot rub and lots of positive affirmations. Clare and Chasen, who is hot, talk about their bad high school experiences. Who does this on a first date? Then, Clare talks to Jay, the dodgeball MVP and one of the guys on the losing team, Blake, crashes their date! On the first episode, Clare told Blake that she appreciated him breaking the rules to check on her during quarantine. This apparently gave Blake reason to think he doesn’t have to follow the same rules as everyone else.
Jay tells the other guys about it and they all go to confront Blake. Then Clare sends the winning team away. The she sends Blake back to the house. Blake feels rejected. Clare grabs Brandon for some one on one. Clare gets upset with Brandon right away because he doesn’t know much about her and can’t give a list of things he likes about her. Brandon is super hot and can do way better than Clare. She rudely sends him home before the rose ceremony. Clare is so needy for compliments. One of the five guys we didn’t see talk to her at all. Chasen gets the rose.
The Rose Ceremony
Yosef plans to tell Clare that he thinks the strip dodgeball game was degrading at the cocktail party. The first thing Clare tells the guys at the cocktail party seems to indicate that she has been forewarned that the dodgeball game was not appreciated by some of the guys. She says she really enjoyed the game and that it was all in good fun. One of the guys tries to pull her away right away, but she decides she wants to talk to Blake first. All the guys are sure he is being sent home for breaking the rules. Instead she gives him a rose to put his mind at ease. This is going to make Blake the enemy of all the other guys who stay. Apparently, rules don’t apply to Blake. Blake is going to get his heart broken.
The other guys decide there is no need to follow the rules anymore. Next, Clare pulls Dale. They bond over the fact they both have a family member in assisted living that they can’t visit. Her mom and his sister are both in isolation. Then she puts a mask from the physical touch competition Dale to resume where they left off. The episode ends with them making out instead of the rose ceremony.
Next Week there is some sort of a roast and the guys go after Dale. This of course pisses of Clare. Because everything pisses off Clare. But she is not the only one who is pissed off. They guys are sick of her hooking up with Dale and some are threatening to walk. Also, Yosef goes nuts.
Okay…. Is anyone reading these longass recap? Anyone? Tap Tap Tap Is this thing on?