Please tell me this is the final Below Deck Med recap before the reunion! It’s been the longest season in the world.. I do have some good news. I ran across some Bravo ratings on Twitter recently and the WWHL episode with Captain Lee and Kiko was a ratings Bonanza! Like four times the normal ratings and perhaps the highest on ever! The bad news is that Sandy and Malia’s episode was very high as well. Maybe three times the average viewership. I love that everyone tuned in for Captain Lee and Kiko. If you missed it you can click here for my recap of the episode.
Rob Makes A Decision
We pick up with Rob deciding he is going to do the crossing and essentially breakup with Jess. He’s had enough of her questioning his feelings for her. But he is not going to tell her until the next day so they can enjoy their final night of shore leave. Malia gets to drive the boat back to the dock. We still have to get through a breakfast service. Bugsy tells us that while there is always an expiration date to yachting, she is not ready to give up the good life just yet. Aesha says she thinks she is done with yachting and wants to see what the next chapter of her life holds. Malia says she and Tom have another cruise together. Not sure that actually happened.
Sandy has a very difficult docking. The big boat next door had ground lines that were kind of in the slot where she wanted to dock. But it all worked out fine. Why does this charter guest have a cast? Did it happen on the trip? It looks brand new. The guests all leave and it is time for the final tip meeting. They got a 20K US for this trip and each person made just over 14K in tips for the season. Sandy thinks that is enough for a down payment on a house. That would not be a down payment even on my ghetto shack. Sandy gives out ridiculous certificates. They literally make no sense.
Shore Leave With Sandy?
Jess goes to Sandy and cries over her compliments. Captain Sandy says she got kicked out of school in the 11th grade. That makes sense. Sandy has invited herself to dinner with the crew. Oh joy. Why is Bugsy so dismissive of Alex? After a final bit of cleaning they are soon ready to get on land and have some fun. Jess is already being bitchy to Rob. What is her deal? She pouts all the way to dinner. She is the one that says they should just be single for the night. So she is the one causing all the turmoil. All Rob said was that he just wanted a fun night!
The restaurant is gorgeous, their patio view overlooking the ocean is amazing. The menu sounds amazing and production is paying! What more could you ask for? But Jess is ruining the whole vibe. She is shooting daggers at Rob the whole time. Again, HE DID NOTHING TO HER! Sandy is suddenly sucking up to Tom for some apparent reason. Suddenly, we get a singer, and some musicians and a flamenco dancer with castanets! This is an amazing evening! Then everyone gets up to dance. Except for Sandy and Jess. Jess is determined to have a horrible night.
On To The Club!
Sandy heads back to the boat and the crew heads out on the town. Jess who has been behaving like a petulant child all night asks Rob if there is something wrong. Yes! You are wrong Jess. The club is even more amazing than the restaurant. There is a pool and I predict someone will end up in it. Jess keeps needling Rob. Rob just finally tells her he is not going to Bali. I mean why be miserable with her in Bali? No one should be miserable in Bali. Wait! Is this episode two hours long? Maybe an hour and a half plus WWHL?
There are fire eaters performing at the club. This place is really cool. Oh no! The charter guests are at the club! And Bugsy is being nice to Alex for a change! Alex is one of the few good guys out there. Some young lady needs to snatch him up! OMG! They kissed! YAY! Rob flirts with that charter guest he gave medical attention to for her elbow or jellyfish bite or something. She was really into him on the boat and Jess has opened the door for him to “be single” so you do you, Rob. Another charter guest (or maybe Malia?) tells Jess that the woman he is flirting with is married and a flirt. Then the charter guests leave.
Girls & Boys! (God, I Miss Prince)
Production puts the girls in one van and the boys in the other so they can gossip. Everyone is wasted especially the girls. Jess drunk cries. Alex tells Rob to do whatever is best for him. Back at the dock, Malia tells Rob that she thinks Jess really loves him and is heartbroken. Rob is a bit emotional himself. It’s drunk thirty. Rob goes to bed. Then Jess comes to the cabin. Nothing is resolved or discussed.
It’s departure day! That morning Jess keeps pushing Rob. He tells her he is going to do the crossing. I think that is best for him. That is at least a three or four week journey across the ocean with probably nothing but male crew. It will give him a reset and time to think. She doesn’t react well. Is it this yacht that is doing a crossing? I thought it was but know I think it may be another. Jess alternates between yelling at him and asking for a hug. I actually sort of understand that. She begs him not to do the crossing. She says the crossing is running away. He says he has a ticket to Bali with two days to decide. I think he will regret it if he doesn’t refund the ticket and do the crossing.
WWHL After Show
Andy just said that WWHL is at ten. Maybe the other half hour is that Bravo Chat crap. It’s time for the hugs and goodbyes. I will truly miss some of these people. Just not Sandy and Malia. OH NOE! Instead of doing the crossing, Rob went to Bali with Jess. Why am I suddenly sad this shit show is over? On to WWHL with Bugsy, Jess and Aesha. Bugsy defends her wearing of a billion barrettes. She likes it. Get over it. Bugsy regrets not giving Alex a better shot.
Jess tells us about the Bali trip. Jess said Rob tried to back out of the Bali trip on the way to the airport. She regrets going to Bali with Rob. It didn’t go well and she wishes she would have just gone solo. I bet Rob regrets it too. Why doesn’t Andy ask for details of the trip? We need to know these things! On the reunion preview for the reunion, Sandy is a cunt to Jess and Hannah. Who is surprised? Bugsy and Alex are still in contact but they are on opposite ends of the world for the most part. So the outlook is bleak.
All three of the stews have stayed in touch with Hannah. Jess thinks there was a lot going on with Aesha that was not show on the show. It is HIGHLY irritating that Bravo bundles all of these stupid shows onto the end of Below Deck Med because it has the ratings. It’s impossible just to record the show and it messes up my DVR for two hours. I don’t mind any of the Bravo Chat girls, but they are so boring on this show. It’s not very interesting and there are too many people for a thirty minute show.