It’s time for a 90 Day Fiancé Happily Ever After Recap! Sorry I watched part one of the Tell All without you. Now that Big Brother and Love Island are not on Sundays anymore I should be about to recap the last two episodes in real time. And I might even get to RHOP tonight! Wonders never cease. I am going to be a bit slower in my recaps because I’ve got some eye strain from working online so much lately (the boring technical stuff that makes you have to wait to get checked in and talking to tech help and such) so I have to take breaks or my eyeballs may roll out of my head. 🙂 I wonder if we will see Asuelu tonight? That whole situation last week was crazy.
Asuelu & Kalani
I forgot that Asuelu did come back at the end of part one. So, we are starting with him. We saw most of this at the end of the last episode. Asuelu tells his mother she hurt him by trashing his kids and his wife. And dumbass Tammy has to keep butting in to the conversation telling Asuelu not to tell her mom what to do. Asuelu lets Tammy know that he doesn’t care if she is his mom or not, she needs to respect his wife and his kids. And while he is crying a little, this is the manliest thing I have ever seen Asuelu do.
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Tammy threatens to kick the ass of every female on the show. Angela takes the bait more than anyone and goes in on Tammy. And while she is at it she says that Kalani’s dad needs to beat Asuelu’s ass and give him a reality check and teach him how to be a man. Finally, Tammy’s mom steps in to tell her to STFU. Asuelu’s mom apologizes him and she is suddenly the nicest person in the world saying all the right things. Kalani eating popcorn is hysterical. I just realized that I watched the 15 minute tease of all of this and that’s why it is so familiar. The bottom line is Asuelu is going to lose his wife and kids to play volleyball. This is the part where I was wondering if he would come back. He left the whole damn house. And blocked her on his phone.
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OOOOHHHH! I am living for this 90 Day The Other Way Preview. It’s my favorite! Stop teasing me! Oh good God, they are moving it to Sunday! NOOOOOO! This is my favorite show and I have Bravo crap on Sundays!
Colt & Jess & Vanessa & Larissa
How does Colt pull so much pussy? Debbie keeps saying that Colt never slept with Vanessa. But Colt says he did. lol. Debbie keeps answering Colt’s questions. Colt says he did in fact sleep with Vanessa while he was with Jess. Larissa and Jess are so furious. Why are there three women fighting on national TV about this unattractive mama’s boy with the personality of a dishrag? Apparently, he has golden dool or something! Larissa screams at Vanessa that she ruined her marriage. Let me pause for a moment to put up Larissa’s mugshot above. Perhaps the two or three times Larissa was arrested for assaulting Colt was part of the problem?
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I am so bored with this group. Can we please move on? I do love how Vanessa says Colt is a horrible boyfriend. Vanessa gets mad and storms off. This is so ridiculous. Are all of these people just making crap up for TV time? Also, can some please come take these peanuts away from me before I make myself sick? Should I watch this Family Chantel show? It looks good but I think I have heard y’all make fun of it before. Anyway, back to the catfights over Colt. During the break, Colt and Jess and of course Mommy Dearest are the only ones on camera with no host. Colt says he is trying to be a better person.
Tania & Syngin
Syngin has a fulltime job waiting tables at the moment. These two are still fighting because Syngin doesn’t like to plan for the future and Tania does. They are trying to survive quarantine just like the rest of us. They have a two bedroom apartment and sometimes they take advantage of that space. Syngin says they garden and play board games sometimes. Tania says that being together 24/7 has escalated the meanness in their arguing. How is that even possible. Andrei chimes in to say that Tania shouldn’t pick on Syngin so much.
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These two continue to be unsure if they should even be together. Tania says that the problem is Syngin’s drinking. Something happened recently and Tania won’t even discuss it because whatever Syngin did is too embarrassing. Syngin could not get a work visa because of his drinking in South Africa. Colt asks Syngin if he would give up drinking to save his marriage. Syngin’s friends Skype in from South Africa and basically insult Tania. Clearly, Tania is way more into this relationship than Syngin. Syngin says that if they had not gotten married they would have already broken up. They have been together for 2.5 years.
Angela & Michael
Everyone is asked about sex during quarantine and these too are stuck with just Facetime sex now. But then we hear that they once had sex 38 times in TWO WEEKS. Ouch.
Then it’s on to the ridiculous “toting a baby” conversation. Angela says if they have a surrogate, she will have to live with them. Then Angela says she will have to worry about Michael getting an erection from looking at her. Okay, this is just ridiculous talk. Michael says to let him get there first and worry about it then. Angela wants to use Skyla’s egg and have her tote it too! Problem solved. Except Skyla has told them no umpteen times. Skyla is skeptical about Michael. She thinks Angela is just talking crap and doesn’t want a baby. Sidenote: Not sure if that was a really close gunshot or if something just blew up. #GhettoLife
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Then, out of nowhere, Angela starts to wonder if Michael wants the baby as an anchor baby to keep him in the US if things don’t work out with Angela. Oh, good point. This irritates Michael. He ultimately walks off. Oh! The finale is tomorrow! That could be a problem. Speaking of problems, Michael’s Aunt Lydia comes on to let everyone know that Michael needs to have an heir. She makes it sound like it’s a requirement, not a choice. Tania offers Angela one of her eggs. Aunt Lydia begs Skyla for an egg. I am so over this topic. Wait, did Michael just suggest he save the IVF money and just knock up another woman? Tomorrow night should be interesting…
Think your site has been hacked. I have no idea who this person I’m meant to be commenting on is. Very worried in case my user name has been hacked too.
How anybody tolerates Angela is beyond me. She is a bloated, crass, uncouth, belligerent mess. Michael clearly desperately wants that green card. Funny how nobody questioned how quick Andrei dropped his anchor baby soon after getting married. He’s the biggest hustler on the show.
When Kalani grabbed that popcorn and started eating, I was too thru. Tammy was out of line with everyone, but I’m glad Asuelo’s mom acted like she had some sense and thanked Asuelo and Kalani for everything they’ve done for her. Kalani’s father needs to get Asuelo all the way together. Asuelo blocking Kalani’s calls, Instagram and Facebook shows how childish he is in the relationship. My 15-year old does that to his friends.
Yeah, who knew Colt was such a player. Obviously Jess and LaRissa were out to embarrass Colt. Colt needs to let his balls drop and Debbie needs to take several seats.
I really feel bad for Tania and Syngin. I don’t think they’re going to make it. When your husband says he’s not going to give up his excessive drinking and it’s a problem, it’s pretty much a wrap.
Angela’s ass knew she couldn’t tote no damn baby and they both lied to his family. Michael should just find another wife and have a child because Angela is not the one to give him an heir. She is mean and nasty as a rattlesnake and she’s never going to be subservient to Michael. He deserves better! I guess the heart wants what it wants though.
My theory WAS that Colte was hung like a mule but the episode of him in those disgusting speedos changed that idea real quick!! I think it’s just women who want that reality show $ and want to be on tv. How is Larissa getting to stay in this country btw? I thought she was getting deported. And I don’t even think her and Eric are a “thang”. He just wants to be on tv and stare at her oversized stretched melons she got put in her chest! ?
Angela never planned on giving Michael a child. She just strung him along with the idea figuring once they married he would get over it. Besides: Michael would never be able to look at the baby if they ha one because Angela is too jealous!
I usually see people putting Tania down but I really cannot stand Syngin. He is an immature drunk who just wants to party. They need to part ways. She is young and wasting her time on him.
Tammy has become the most hated woman in the free world and she should just shut up and lay low for a few years! I am not a violent person but they way she wants to beat everyone up causes my blood to boil and I want to knock her down and sit my fat ass on her and pummel her face!
Kalani was a trip grabbing that popcorn! It was the funniest part of the evening for me. Asuelo really has issues and needs one on one counseling. He seems to have no empathy for what he and his family put his wife through. At least his mother changed her tune for the tell all.
I agree with other posters about Colt. They are just interested in the reality show aspect, either money or possibly getting their 15 minutes because I do not know any woman who dreams of being with a mommas boy with a baby dick! Maybe Larissa went off on him because of Vanessa and that is why she got arrested at least one of the times. Eric is just in for the money. Her surgery was an investment and he expects a return on that investment. They don’t even sleep in the same bed. Jess should just be thankful she dodged a bullet with Colt. She could have been stuck with the serial killer.
These people are like a train wreck and we cannot turn away but seriously, I hope TLC provides them with counseling once they wash out!
@ MsRottn-it seems that Syngin never lied about who he was. I can see why Tania is frustrated, BUT she needs to forget about the sex & leave the relationship.
What was all over Angela’s arm??? It looked like a wild animal scratched the $#!+ out of it! Between that and her mask…I can’t quite figure out wth has been going on with her! ?♀️
I think she said abscess on her face, maybe a herpes sore on lip?
Saw her arm too it looked all scratched up.
She said she had an abscessed tooth, and the air hitting it hurt her mouth
I think she fell down in rector arm and face. That’s road rash on her arm and whoever heard of not being able to have air hit your abscess?
Exactly coz there was plenty of air hitting it from the other side! She nearly blew her mask off several times! ?♀️
It was almost impossible to watch Angela with that mask — she kept moving it around the entire time she shrieked. She was totally dishonest with Michael and never intended to have a baby under any circumstances as Skyla (the only one she seems to trust to be around Michael) is a non-starter. And she is too jealous to even allow another woman’s egg to be used with a surrogate. They really should go.
Colt is just a narc gaslighter. Hate his face and his hair and his whole demeanor.
Tanya (Asuelo”s sister) is a waste of space. A one trick pony — I will beat you up. So stupid. Are you going to hit me through the television? And “don’t tell me what to do” was an inane response. ugh I think half the audience wants to beat her up.
Tammy
Colt most definitely does NOT have a golden dool! There were pictures and videos that he sent circulating everywhere. I saw them. To be honest, I’m not actually sure if it qualifies as a dool at all. It looks more like some sort of very small physical deformity. I’m not even being mean. Sorry if that’s tmi!
I always have high hopes for the reunions, but get bored partway through. I don’t find Shaun to be a very good interviewer… or I’m just not in sync with her. She doesn’t ask what I want to know, or she pauses the conversation in places I don’t want it paused. I don’t know, I can’t describe it accurately. It’s something about how it flows. Maybe it’s just that I don’t really want to hear from any of them.
When my husband and I just agreed it was boring, he said, that’s because it’s all a train wreck and there’s no point watching again – it’s already wrecked.
Not a fan of The Family Chantal because it is the SAME argument over and over and over and over.
Sorry to be a downer tonight! Can’t wait for The Other Way to come back. So many great stories there.
Hey Kara I feel like you haven’t been here in a while. I dunno I am up talking to the Dutch guys about the PROVE YOU ARE HUMAN stuff. lol. I agree about Shaun though. I think they need to talk about each couple. Like three on this one three on that one etc. It seems like we never get anywhere.
Hi TT – I’ve been around and checking your site a lot, but maybe not commenting as much as usual. Partly due to the ennui of being home all the time and being tied to a screen all day for work, and partly because I’m usually on my kindle which is horrible for commenting. Anything I mistype, if I try to correct it, it makes it worse. I’ve noticed I haven’t replied to emails much these past 6 months either. I tell everyone I’m fine and I think I am, but it crops up in these little things like not commenting and emailing like I used to.
Shawn is a dreadful interview er, agreed. When they argue she’s trying to sneak out the back door! And she does not ask the questions we all wish to have answers to! Like has Angela been scratching up her arms? What’s with all the blood on them? Yum!
I’m with you Kara for next Sunday. Does anyone watch the Stacey and Darcey new shitshow? I just can’t bring myself to do it.
Nope, me neither. In fact, if I leave the room and come back and find Darcy & Stacy on, I’m mad at myself in case my cable box is collecting ratings. LOL.
Exactly ! I even fall sleep with TLC on and wake up at 2am and that shit show is on and find the clicker in the hot mess of blankets and turn that shit off
Agree with you both. Even when there is nothing else to watch on the dvr, and I’m having reality withdrawal, I refuse to watch that show. I like Darcy better than Stacey, she looks pretty darn cute in Strikes Back, but she needs to change out of the camo uniform. I cannot stomach the two of them together. Everything I can’t take is in stereo. They remind me of the hippie chick muppet. I do not understand why Stacey married that guy. He’s a zombie Lurch. They try to convince us that women are fighting over him. Nope. They need to give up the ghost on that show.