And he sends me all the fancy shit. And he clearly doesn’t know about being single because he is married. And rich. And that is really not the point. But I am kinda fucking poor. So it is like A WHOLE NEW WORLD when he sends me rich people food. So now I buy really fucking expensive pork chops online. Because once you go rich you never go back. You can’t have those little gray things they call pork chops and ever go back to eating them after having a real one.
So months and months ago he sent me thinly slice ham from La Tienda. Which is apparently a place where rich people shop. And he sent me basically a whole have of a pig or something very thinly sliced. I think raw. To this southern chick it seems raw. Like bacon. And pork is something you probably should not eat raw. So I portioned it off and put it in the freeze and cook it in the oven and it is basically rich people bacon. It is 5:55 a.m. and I woke up NEEDING THAT HAM. I mean he basically sent me an entire pig and THIS IS MY LAST PACKAGE. So like the usual CRACKHEAD um Bacon Addict. I am losing my mind because I WILL PAY A BILLION DOLLARS for more of this crack, um I mean ham. He has the NERVE TO BE SLEEPING NOW. I cannot find the fucking ham on the website.
LOOK! IT IS 2020. We are all prolly gonna die. I just need my ham. Honestly, it might be in there somewhere. But I stupidly replaced my kitchen appliances with Frigidaire crap and it is chaos in there. Never EVER buy a Frigidaire appliance. If you are dying in the street and you life depends on it DO NOT BUY Frigidaire anything. Just die with no appliances. I did find the last pack of ham but Banjo is working me for most of it. I mean running out of ham is bad. So I know a guy. And if he ever wakes up…. I’ll send you the link. And you can thank all the people I sort of wanted to drunk dial… Even though I am only a tiny bit drunk at the moment. For this post. But now you can imagine for yourself my “serious problems” at six am. š But I mean there were a billion slices of ham and now there is no ham. I think we can all agree THIS IS A CRISIS! There is no more ham! I hate 2020.
Great. Now I feel bad because I Googled a lot of cute pig pictures. I suck.
Also I prolly can’t eat ham anymore. DID YOU SEE THE CUTE PIG PHOTOS?
La tiienda is,online. I live in Spain. He sent you Jason. Itās the best
Haha Jamon. Not Jason
I mean the ham was good. But if someone can send me Jason… That would be even better.
PLEASE GOD SEND ME JASON.
Iām dying reading this.
ššš
You are SO funny!
Well, Jason/Jax IS a pig…
My husbandās name is Jason and i wouldnāt mind sending him away…..just kidding.
i want Jason Mamoa…and bacon
And also the entire country of Spain is banned here. How are you here?
Iāve lived in Spain for over 2 years. It was complete lockdown here. My husband and I were separated for 7 months. Me in Spain he in Saudi Arabia. Europe is hitting second wave and some lockdowns have started again. Even if we had to do it like before (no going out for exercise, nada) Iām glad Iām here and not back in the states. Good luck to,you there
Those are bacon seeds. Iām good with it
I literally had to avert my eyes from the cute pig pictures whilst reading about your yummy ham.
Its not one of these https://www.tienda.com/jamon/boneless-hams.html
Holy hell that is expensive!!
Iām crying š š TT!
Obviously heritage hogs.
I love ham. Spiral ham imported from Italy is my only solace in life. Unfortunately no imports due to Covid. If any of my fellow readers happens to see bone in Carando spiral ham with brown sugar glaze please do yourself a favor & try it. Even the photos of adorable little baby piglets won’t stop me from purchasing. It’s that yummy ! Have a great weekend my friends. I intend to read nap & bake ( goods not ganga ) my face off ! Be happy Be well.
My Favorite twin… if I figure out how to send you this…. I will. and also I need your address again…
And that was your 500th comment!
And send me whatever you are baking. Just one of each. I AM JUST ONE PERSON. I just want a taste.
500 comments ! I’ve been here forever & a day I can’t believe I posted that many. Thanks for not ever putting me in WLS as I am sure moderating 500 comments is a lot of work. Made meatloaf meatballs & gravy for freezer so I WON’T HAVE TO COOK ON SUNDAY ! Yay me! Baked ALASKA & Apple cinnamon cookies for dessert. I love you twin . You sound in good spirits xo Marc
You are not wrong! My favorite part is the bone, when I finally get to it. I use it to make my black eyed peas. No one can figure out how a city mouse makes such amazing peas. Itās all about the bone š
Ah a good bone is hard to find
And a hard bone is good to find!
YAASSSS!
The fanciest ham I have ever had is Parma ham š Iām not living obviously I need to up my game!!!
I think you are supposed to eat it kind of raw but I am a firm no on raw pork, but it is the tastiest thing ever, I’ve sent my imaginary gay husband a request for what he sent. It was a shit ton rawish ham. So I parceled it all off an froze it. BECAUSE I AM JUST ONE PERSON! I was all like I will never eat all this ham in my lifetime. But I did and now I don’t have any in my freezer and I might die if I don’t get more. But it doesn’t seem to be a choice on the site, And I really need them to have it. I don’t need any more bad things to happen in 2020. WAS THE OWL NOT ENOUGH? I just want to play the ham game with Caroline Manzo.
Okay fine fuck it I am just going to bed AGAIN AGAIN. Literally all I do is sleep, I love you all. I am going to cry myself to sleep because Love Island is ending. I just need more Caleb and Justine.
It is jambon. It is cured so itās not raw. They offer 2 different kinds and both are good (If presses Iād choose the Parma)Not intended to be cooked. Same thing goes for most of their sausagesā they are cured meats unless described otherwise (chorizo needs to be cooked) Still considered perishable bc needs refrigeration. La Tienda ships their stuff from Williamsburg, VA. Takes forever to ship during covid so unless you pay for expedited shipping and can get it in same week, but wait until Monday MORNING to place order bc no one there on weekends and best to call to confirm expedited shipping these days so it doesnāt sit in the dry ice over a weekend. They have a cutoff time so if not ordered in morning your order doesnāt get processed until next day and this is same for Murrayās. But if youāre just gonna cook it like bacon, get the less expensive packs of prosciutto from Murrayās. (If youāre cooking it , it will taste the same) Murrayās prosciutto is pretty good anyway-again, cured and no need to cook it because it is not raw. Should you choose La Tienda I suggest ordering their bread as well bc itās awesome. Still prefer Murrayās for cheeses though. I literally just ordered a ton of this as part of a gift and got variety so we could try all the things. The brandy infused dark chocolate covered figs will change your life.
Meant from La Tienda
Also, the cinnamon & sugar tortas crumbled on top of vanilla or your dulce de leche ice cream takes ice cream to another level. š
A few years ago, Trader Joeās had dark chocolate brandy figs. Then … someone realized that the alcohol was not like things where the alcohol is cooked off. I bought the only packages left and savored every one. The FiancĆ©e still was into Snickers and Nestle Crunch at that time. Now … we both are keto, but I would cheat a bit on those figs!
I hate brandy & dogs, but I need these in my life, yummy.
FIGS, NOT DOGS.HA š¤£
Oh, thank God, ravynrobin!you were about to have to leave the site. Lol!
Yeah, Iām not usually a fig person but after trying one of them I am a convert. They also have salted caramel and milk chocolate ones without the brandy which sounds divine and much more up my alley. I am dying to place a giant order for myself after trying a few things we got my grandpa but this shit is expensive af. I need a gay husband to spoil me. Le sigh.
LOL!!!!
side note: totally stoked to try this rich people brand of food! š¤¤
I am too poor to be here. It is like a foreign language listening to yāall talk about rich people food.
Lol, Mel. I had to read up on this shit bc family pitched in for this as a gift for my grandfathers 99th bday. I didnāt know wtf I was ordering so I read everything in the fine print to figure it out. And the Murrayās cheese and meats are sold at Kroger in the deli section. My grandfather was quite a traveler and enjoyed fancy shit in his younger days. We know itās his last bday and wanted to spoil him and were limited in what we could get during covid. We sent him a ātaste of Spain ā themed stuff and Spanish wines. Now we get drunk dials from him at 99 years old! Totally worth it! š
Beautiful gift
That is one of the sweetest gifts … Did you send him Manchengo cheese and Marconi almonds and Spanish olives and dry sherry? I guess I could move to Spain.
ā¤ļø this!
So sweet and thoughtful.
Yāall. He has been locked up in his elder care facility since the beginning. His place is in a hi rise so we havenāt even been able to go wave at him. The facility bent the rules a bit on actual bday (one daughter happened to be in town). Because we all took covid tests and were negative they let him wheel himself downstairs and we brought a cake and balloons and sang HBD to him. He brought little doggie bags of stuff for ea of us of the stuff we bought so we could taste. The smile in his eyes (all were wearing masks) was the biggest gift of all. Iām actually tearing up as I type this. He is a very special person.
If you have a loved one who is elderly and locked in a facility bc of covid, I strongly recommend sending stuff to them. If they are capable and have good eyesight, puzzles and books etc are great.
My grandpa has macular degeneration so cannot see well which is why we went the food route. It really didnāt even need to be so fancy. He said the fact that he had stuff to eat to break up the monotony of the same recycled prepared meals from the facility was the best thing ever (and that we picked good fancy shit he likes was bonus), but for real, I wouldnāt have thought about having the same meals for almost a year. Heās still mentally with us , itās his body thatās failing. So Iām going to continue to send him stuff occasionally-just not so expensive. Itās something that really meant a lot in changing his spirits which was the goal. And now we have a happy memory of four generations being together, however briefly, to carry in all our hearts so we really gave ourselves a gift. ā¤ļø Knowing that so many in his situation have died alone (and he still could) puts it all into a different perspective. We are very fortunate to still have him.
You can usually call the facility and find out what dietary restrictions they have and choose something accordingly. I promise it will make their day! š
IJC That is so great, that is money well spent and now you know food is a fun way to keep his spirits up, I love it. Let me know if heād like some fresh Tastycakes from Philadelphia š
I will apologize for this post because I want to remain polite to my host: TT. She isnāt going to like this and I donāt even know why I feel driven to post it.
@MelG… I am feeling like I am too poor to be here, too. Hubby and I have next-to-nothing yet we are sending our extra pennies to a couple of young people who are struggling because they are bartenders/waitstaff out of work right now. They keep taking in more friends as those people run out of money for rent. Their landlord is the only one with a big enough heart to not kick them to the curb and to turn a blind eye to them taking more roommates in. We are eating baloney and salami when we can afford it and hubby had to have a more important surgery than the procedure I need done. His was cardio. Mine is hip replacement. We canāt afford my deductible so I am going to have to let the hip collapse so it will be an emergency surgery. I honestly canāt imagine how much this is going to hurt.
But that is my problem to deal with and I will. We donāt have rich friends. We are the formerly lower middle class people who have always helped our poorer family and friends.
I just canāt deal with the wealth inequality I see here. It hurts. Iām scared for people who are hard workers and yet are going to end up homeless because trickle down has never worked and never will. And millionaires have become billionaires during a global pandemic while 40 million Americans face homelessness when they lift the moratorium on evictions across the board.
I used to love coming here because it felt like an escape, but this is not the place for a poor person who is struggling to help people who are even poorer.
I will miss how this place used to make me feel. ššš
And I am glad this is still a place for many others to find solace and I know TT doesnāt like or care to see people post that they are leaving so I will apologize again.
You have health insurance? That must be nice. I haven’t had or seen a doctor in quite some time.
And yes, you should move along. We do nothing to financially help each other here. We are all just a bunch of rich assholes eating ham.
I would punch someone for a country ham biscuit right now. The closest thing in my house right now is turkey bacon.
Soooo with you on a country ham biscuit! McDonaldās quit selling them a few years ago but can still get them at Bojanglesās. Feel like we must be the last ones who even know what it is(and arenāt disgusted by them!)
Oh I know what they are and the much beleaguered Imaginary gay husband may be sending me one. I think I was a mean drunk to him last night. He sending me “the ham” I am worried it is a whole ham. He tends to “oversend” and I know you are thinking how can send you too much? I don’t have room in my freezer for all of this. And it is A lot. And I am a fat person but I can’t eat that much! And it is expensive and I need to do something with $800 of expensive pork… but I have no frreezer really.So I am prolly going to be on the street sharing ham with my ghetto0pneighbors.
Hi! I am Tamara, could I share some really expensive ham with you?
Thank YOU for my first gut busting laugh all day!! Ham Drama!!!! Bwaaaaaaa!! Luv ya !
Here in NorCal, La Tienda is a chain of Mexican grocery stores in Quonset huts!
They have bakeries and taquerias in each store. And good meat for cheap. Things like a gummy bears are exactly the same as in āregular white peopleā grocery stores, only cheaper.
We also have 99 Ranch Market stores that are similar but have more than Mexican foodstuffs. Especially during Chines New Year ā there are DOZENS of kinds of almond cookies in really cool tins. Made from metal, not cardboard. Lots of tapioca /boba. Lots of flavors of wafer cookies, including durian. Fresh durian … one day I will try it. Maybe even balut! Probably not balut! Everything there is cheaper too ā and good quality.
I love La Tienda and 99 Ranch Markets too.
Itās kind of fun to go into a large grocery store and be the only one who speaks only English. Itās my cheapo way of experiencing being in an exotic market in some foreign country. It gives me more appreciation for people who leave EVERYTHING BEHIND ā sometimes even their families. I donāt know if I would have the courage.
When Mom and I were on a tour ā Poland, Hungary, Czech Republic ā we went to a huge bazaar in Hungary. It was really fun and we met the best people working there. I brought my little āhow to speakā guides along in every country. Plus, I can draw well enough to get our questions asked/answered. But everywhere we went, people wanted to practice their English (especially in Prague). A few days into the tour, we noticed that others were complaining because āNO ONE SPEAKS ENGLISH!ā First, you are in THEIR country; second, do YOU speak a second language?
I asked our guide in private and he said, āDo you notice a difference in your approach? Have you seen anyone else trying to speak to the hotel staff in their language and asking me how to say āgood dayā and āthank you,ā etc.ā No, I had not. āThere,ā he said āis your answer. YOU are trying to COMMUNICATE and people notice and appreciate that.ā I liked all of our fellow travelers, but I did see his point.
Here in Podunk we have a Walmart and a Food Lion. Lol I have to drive to neighboring towns for Kroger and Publix (much better meat & produce depts.).
Mel, I sometimes come here just to read your comments. You crack me up!
I love it here. TT and the majority of yāall are the highlight of my day! It seems like the ones who donāt play well with others have been leaving (or TT has shown them the exit).
My favorite ham is Honey Bee; however, my dad can smoke ham that tastes just like any awesome smokehouse meat. š
omg the pig pictures!!!! LOL LOL
Was it Serrano ham? My
Mom used to have this whole contraption sheād put this huge Serrano ham on and itād just stay there until it was gone, no fridge needed lol
Oh lord.
I just realized I’ve had waaaaaay too much Tequila. I needed it because we’re watching Yellowstone. NO REDEEMING PEOPLE, EXCEPT FOR MAYBE THE KID. Dammit. Bloody as hell, and Kevin Costner plays an asshole.
I’m also craving ham like a motherfucker now.
Are you it just wasnāt Italian prosciutto? Cured ham, looks raw & like thin shaved bacon. You can buy it in most delis
Is this the same La Tienda is Williamsburg? If so. Iām making a road trip, if not can someone post a link to the right one?i get my applewood from Neuskes but I love love LOVE my pork so Iām willing to shell out for some thin sliced ham on your recommendations! Now itās 5am and CB my stomach is growling, I hope your friend wakes up soon, ordering might make my tummy happy š
Yes! Lol! I think sheās wanting the IbĆ©rico jamon from la Tienda in Williamsburg. Idk if sheās wanting the pre-sliced or the big bone-in one. You might email her and ask. The IbĆ©rico Bollata is the super expensive one but if sheās cooking it like bacon the regular IbĆ©rico wouldnāt make much difference. I just ordered some (see above post) Iām super jealous youāre going there! Iām going next time I visit my daughter but that might not be for a very long time unfortunately with travel restrictions from TX.
I looked at their menu… Iām going to have to starve myself for a week first, I want everything! Iām outside of Philly but Iāve never been to Williamsburg. Iām thinking it might be a good place to go for a weekend around Christmas… especially f my Turks trip is cancelled AGAIN! Iāll need retail therapy for sure.
In the meantime Iām trying to track down mild cooking chorizo so I can make their chicken and chorizo paella š Tiendo doesnāt have it. Iāve never made paella or cooked with chorizo. I love chorizo but Iām not sure if the heat in the spicy Spanish (paprika and garlic) is the same as spicy Mexican (chilies and peppers)
Itās meant to be, I just got a new 3-pack of Spanish paprikas, I usually donāt order the hot/spicy one but itās did this time. Also not sure if cooking with the Mild slicing chorizo would be okay if I canāt find cooking variety. Any advice would be great! I plan to follow the La Tienda recipe on their website.
I donāt have any cooking advice on this. I ordered stuff as a gift and got a bit of everything but I made sure to get stuff that really didnāt need cooking. The hardest thing he had to do was wait for bread to get room temp and then bake it for like 10-12 minutes. At 99 I didnāt want him catching the place on fire. But Iām saving my coins to order for myself and the paella kit is definitely on my list.. If I make it before holidays will let ya know. But youāre probably going first so I hope youāll keep me updated. Enjoy Williamsburg & weāll all expect a full report on La Tienda!
It is the iberico ham. The flavor comes from the type of acorns the pigs use as staple of their diet that is found in that part of Spain.
I gave my husband an ultimate charcuterie gift for Christmas 2 years ago. Splurged on a few types of iberico from this site, Italian cheeses, and stuff from D’atagnan, etc.
It does look raw like a prosciutto.
Not going to be buying anymore of that for sometime! Very expensive.
You replaced all your appliances? That’s major!!! Did you do it this year? How did you pull that off. Regardless of the manufacturer (and whether it was a good choice) – the fact that you did it. I replaced a one item a while back and it was crazy how much measuring and then re-measuring had to be done. Props to you for accomplishing it.
I hope āyour guyā hasnāt read this to find out you are cooking this āfancy ham.ā
Or, next time, he may not spend $$$$$$ when he could send you a delicious, and much less expensive, Honey Baked.
My imaginary gay husband has put up with me and all my drunken bullshit for a couple of decades now. I feel like I should buy him a car or something. No one has that kind of stamina. And he knows I am a moron who cooks the ham. I don’t like the rawish looking ones, plain but if you cook them in the oven, it’s like crack. I like to wrap them around shrimp on skewers and bake them. I put them on cheap frozen pizzas. We should probably not discuss this here as he may have a heart attack.
I can only hope that my reaction to all the fancy rich people shit I have gotten to experience over our long friendship makes him laugh more than my drunken emails irritate him. I feel like we will survive as long as I never use his phone number. I’ve had it for years and don’t think I have ever called him. I MAY have once ten or more years ago, when I was at an international teachers job fair trying to make hard decisions. Or that may have been email too. I don’t have many braincells left. I mostly remember wanting to move to Lativa, gettting a weird offer from Austria, and hooking up with a plumber from Upper Michigan who was in the hotel for a different convention who was one of the best one night stands ever.