I am really behind in these MAFS Australia recaps and was looking forward to getting caught up. However, I am doing so now because I cannot watch the news of the death of RPG anymore it is very upsetting especially as I was the reactions of Fox News. I went to see what they were saying and while I normally suggest you check out what all the partisan “news” channels are saying, in this case YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW.
I have several episodes of MAFS Australia recaps to do in the DVR but still feel like I might miss one in the middle. But I do have one that picks up where we left off at the boys and girls night out. I’m going to try not to go into too much detail because I’m griefstricken and I have hours of this to get through. I need subtitles on this show. I think what we are learning is that Aleks was hooking up with another guy and that is why Aleks and Ivan split. Ivan shows up and refuses to tell the truth. He says he wanted to stand by Aleks not matter what. The issue was he asked Micheal and at least Josh to bring up the things he was “too much of a gentleman” to say. The guys feel betrayed by Ivan. Ivan says Michael is about to get what’s coming to him.
Meanwhile, at the girl’s gathering…
Stacey is about to get her comeuppance. And Hayley is more than ready to pay Stacey back for her hypocrisy. At this point, the remaining girl’s were supporting Stacey who is playing the victim. Stacey is more pissed that Hayley says she got her law degree off the back of a cereal box and is not a practicing lawyer than however she “brought her kids into it.” That speaks volumes. I am so braindead, sad and terrified of RBG’s death I’m struggling with remembering who all these people are. Sorry that the disjointedness is greater than usual. I’m trying to get into this for distraction. It’s not working.
The Final Dates
Despite Jon writing leave for the third time at the commitment ceremonies, Connie has planned the final date with Jon. She’s rented a yellow vintage VW van. Jon loves it. Off they go to the beach to surf. I’m not sure where they are but it is stunningly beautiful. Connie gives him tiny surf shorts with her photos. Later, she organized a romantic beach dinner by the van. Connie pours her heart out. I WANT TO MARRY CONNIE and I am (mostly, lol) straight. Jon gives her earrings she had admired. And he adopted a penguin for her and named it Conethen. Aw. Connie gives him a scrapbook of their time together. Jon gets emotional. Jon says, “Thanks for writing STAY.” I’m all in my feels with you, Connie.
Drew plans a date with KC on a fancy boat with champagne and strawberries. They weather turns bad. They are both nervous about their final decision. Is this a sign? KC doesn’t want kids and he does. That’s a deal breaker in my opinion. But they do seem to be in love ISH.
Stacey & Michael
Of Course Stacey wants her final date to be in Dubai or perhaps Sephora for a day of shopping. Is that really what she said? I may have misheard that. I don’t think Dubai is a place they could go for the day so I am pretty sure I misheard that. It’s like a fifteen hour flight from Sydney to Dubai. Michael is starting to realize she is a gold digger. Um, Hello? We all knew this. And yet I think this is a perfect couple of cheating horrible material shitheads that belong together. Stacey wants a date with Michael’s wallet, not with Michael.
Michael plans to test Stacey’s values. This will surely fail. lol. I love his plans though. He leaves her a car key with a Lamborghini tag. But he’s taking her out in an old car with dents and all kinds of crap in the car. Is that my car? How did it get to Australia! The best part is her white dress. Then he takes her for a gas station lunch on the side of the road. I love this! They are literally sitting on a the side of the road eating crap food. Then Michael caves and take her to a fancy hotel with fancypants food service. I love that Michael told her her looks would fade twice.
Mishel And Steve
If I had to get married (not on my agenda at all) I’d marry Steve out of all of these guys. I’ve had plenty of sex in my life. I would like a Steve. We could have sex or not have sex, I don’t really care. I just like him. It looks like Steve may sleep with a sleep apnea machine. That may be a slight annoyance, but I could deal, because Steve. Mishel is going to break his heart.
Unlike Michael, Steve has rented an amazing vintage mustang convertible. Did I mention I have fallen in love with Steve? I did not know that American car manufacturers made cars with the steering wheel on the other side. Especially vintage ones. Am I naive or is that weird? These two go to Luna Park which is an amusement park apparently and Mishel could not be happier. I mean I could be happier but I do love an amusement park. I want Steve to be happy, and if that is with Mishel… fine. FINE! WHATEVER. FINE! lol. But I’d love to date Steve. The good news is that all Mishel asks for is a kiss. Steve hates Ferris Wheels. So do I! My parents used to put me on them as a small child all over Europe! It was terrifying! I hate Mishel and her over active libito.
Zeb and Lizzie
Zeb is planned a date to some sort of glass lodge where animals (like tigers!) sleep outside their room! I am not sure if I would like this or hate it. The tigers are apparently in their own “room” AKA glass cage next door. That seems less safari and more… um odd. But I thing I would like it. But Lizzie is questioning his motives. Oh I have fed a giraffe on a date before. It’s kind of amazing. I am sort of a giraffe freak. I flew to the I think it was the San Diego Zoo to see a bizarre string of giraffes giving birth because a guy who lived there wanted to see me. And another guy who knew that because I post all my shit online took me to his zoo where I could have fed giraffes but I am pretty sure they knew he was not the right guy for me (is anyone?) took me to feed giraffes at his zoo. I want to touch a rhino! I feel like that is my new spirit animal these days.
The Finale Vows?
On to a new episode and I only have 22 minutes of that one and then I guess I have the finale. I feel like I might have missed something. Or not. I really don’t care. Okay I found the final episode. All of the MAFS things get jumbled together on my DVR. Let’s do this I’m getting very tired and just want to know who ends up together if anyone. I still feel like I missed some things but I am just going to cut to the chase. I always feel like I missed something on these shows despite them being eons long. Did Stacey get exposed yet? I feel like I am watching these all out of order.
Yes, I totally missed an episode. Jon dumped Connie. I’m not surprised. I just didn’t see that. But, I mean I did but I thought there was hope? I LOVE CONNIE. I am just going to watch and post about who stays together. Connie’s mom tells Connie that she deserves better. I feel like we are doing so many things but does Michael know that Stacey cheated as well? I dunno. Perhaps that was in the episode I did not see. Wait? She has trust issues? I guess he doesn’t know yet?
The Final Decisions
Stacey of course vows to stay with Michael. Because, money.
KC and Drew agree to stay together. Despite his concerns about where they live. “I’m not ready to say goodbye yet” would bother me.
Jon annoys the fuck out of me. How could ANYONE not pick Connie? But it is clear he will not. She’s a gem who deserves better. YES CONNIE! YOU ARE A STRONG CONFIDENT BRAVE WOMAN WITH A CHOICE! THE CHOICE IS YOURS NOT HIS. Oh sweetie the odds are NOT against you. America ADORES YOU. You is smart, you is kind, you is important! It’s been a day of tears. But THIS IS AMAZING. You will get your fairytale ending.
I hate the fact I either missed the endings or this show is over. Argh.