Every Wednesday night of this season I’ve been utterly exhausted when it’s time to recap this show. It’s crazy because I’m fine on Thursday nights for RHONY. So tonight I have been drinking coffee with protein shakes just trying to make it to this bitchfest. All the sneak peaks make this reunion look good! So let’s get this RHOBH recap started. Let the screaming match begin. DING!
Five cups of coffee and two candy bars later, I am jacked and ready to do this! The first few seconds were cut off and I pick up with a screen that says Thursday Reunion Day. What happened before that? Did Garcelle not have a glam squad? That hair is awful and it looks like she doesn’t have on any makeup! She is usually so stunningly beautiful, but this is a fail. Oh I like the dress now that I see the whole thing. And I love that she is wearing jewelry from Asa Soltan’s collection!
Time For Kyle Bashing
We start with Garcelle who I thought was a GREAT addition to the show this season! But, she sure was blunt. I guess that is a required quality for a “housewife.” I don’t understand Garcelle’s issue with Kyle. Andy brings up Garcelle’s comment on WWHL about Kyle being the least welcoming. I remember at the time Kyle saying she was blindsided and that she had no idea Garcelle didn’t like her during filming. Kyle’s feelings were really hurt. Garcelle says she just said Kyle’s name because she was really nervous and it was the only name she could remember. Bullshit. Kyle mentioned that Garcelle trashed her during her confessionals all season.
Dorit sticks up for Garcelle. Denise says that Kyle interrupts people and glazes over other people’s conversations. Maybe so. BUT THEY ALL DO THAT! Kyle is pissed so she points out that Garcelle pledged $5,000 at her charity event and never paid. Garcelle denies it and seems pissed. Kyles’s boobs seem ginormous. Have they always been that big or is it just that they are all out on front street? Erika’s eyes look huge too. Garcelle and Kyle have a very open and respectful conversation about Black Lives Matter. So maybe there is hope for these two yet. Garcelle was the first person to reach out to Erika to see how her son was doing as a cop during these unstable times.
The Southern Belle of Beverly Hills
Andy shifts topics to the other new girl, Sutton. Her house is currently up for sale for 9 million dollars. She found another house that she likes. So she’s testing the waters to see if her house will sell. She isn’t hellbent on moving, she is just sort of feeling out the market. Dorit apologizes to Sutton for how she treated her this season. They go back and forth over Sutton being nervous going into Rinna’s daughter’s DNA party. I barely even remember that as a thing.
Everyone raves about Sutton’s gift bags, and her gift of rain boots in Italy. Next we talk about Sutton making Teddi cry. Teddi felt like Sutton was mocking her pregnancy. Sutton was just trying to joke with her. I am disappointed that Sutton is wearing a stupid barrette.
Let’s (not) Talk About Sex, Baby
It’s time to talk about Denise fucking Richards. Andy mentions that Denise talks about very explicit sexual things on camera all the time. So isn’t it hypocritical for her to freak the fuck out over the three way thing? She leaves Kyle’s party because of the sex talk, and then she says she is going out for steak at a strip club. Now she says she was joking. She was not joking. Lots of strip clubs in Atlanta have good food. Perhaps it is unusal in other cities but people go to strip clubs all the time here. Husbands and wives, a group of friends, people on dates, as well as the usual guys night out. People have business meetings at strip clubs. It’s just not really a big deal at all.
Everyone points out to Denise that she talks about Aaron’s big penis and how they have sex twice a day all the time. Denise suddenly is a prude when it comes to Brandi’s threesome allegations. Erika get heated. Erika is furious with Denise and I am not sure why she feels singled out. But she clearly does. I think everyone is pissed at Denise at this reunion because of all the cease and desist letters she sent out. They are all meaningless. It is in her contract that she can’t sue Bravo, production or her castmates for defamation. I need to ask my source what the consequence is if she tried. Rinna points out that Denise lied about what her daughter said about the threesome. Because she said she thought it was funny.
Denise Just Denies Everything!
Denise takes heat for liking tweets on Twitter that were mean to the other housewives. One in particular said that Rinna is a racist and should be fired. WTF? She denies it and production puts the tweet up on the screen. The same tweet said “Got pat your puss somewhere else and take Erika Jayne with you. Denise lies and says her kids don’t watch the show. They are on the show. Of course they are going to watch. Wow. I had such a high opinion of Denise when she had the reality show with her dad. But, now I understand why she marries weirdos. She ain’t right.
Overall, this reunion has been pretty good so far. I could not stop looking at Erika’s giant eyes. Is there a surgery that can do that? What did you think of this episode?