I am a bit shook after tonight’s Big Brother episode and am hoping that the HOH will be shown on the feeds. In the meantime, I shall forge ahead with tonight’s RHONY Recap. I noticed that photos of Ramona vaping at lunch with friends in the Hamptons have surfaced tonight. This is fueling the rumors that Ramona may be about to follow Dorinda out the door for next season and that Leah may be the new center of attention as Bravo tries to reach out to the much coveted younger viewer. I guess I am in the minority but I am not really that interested in Leah.
These Bitches Are Too Old For Streetwear
I just realized that Sonja’s new apartment is on Columbus Circle right where the Bravo offices and the WWHL set is. She can just stumble home from WWHL without needing a cab. I am so over Sonja’s fake fashion line. Sonja is still trying to sell her townhouse. I suggest she just take any offer she can get. It’s just a lot of trouble. Sonja doesn’t want to be a landlord.
Meanwhile, Luann and Ramona trash Dorinda. Leah invited Elyse to her upcoming 15th anniversary of Married To The Mob party. When Luann alerts Ramona to this news, Ramona completely trashes Elyse. I guess Ramona is down to 49 girlfriends. I’m bored already. My adrenaline is high from Big Brother. That was exciting. This is just same shit different episode. The RHONY cast don’t seem to get this is a party to celebrate MTTM which is streetwear. This means they are all inappropriately dressed. I am awaiting Ramona’s entrance. She at least went to Leah’s store to get some appropriate attire. Oh wait, she is there now and she is wearing shiny gold pants. Why did she buy streetwear then?
What Does Elyse Have On Ramona?
Someone is going to have to remind me how Ramona managed to ostracize Elyse. When Ramona snubs her, Elyse tries to grab her arm (not in an aggressive way) to get her to talk to her and Ramona goes all Mariah Carey on her saying, “I don’t know who you are!” Did I miss what happened with these two? I am fairly lucid tonight (although my pregame coffee with a protein shake is wearing off.) I know I can’t remember shit, but seriously, it seems like Elyse just disappeared for a few episodes. I don’t mind Elyse but I did expect her to be more interesting. When Elyse calls Ramona out for whatever happened between them, Ramona bolts from the entire event. It seems she gets production has set her up.
This is one of the better episodes of RHONY this season. I am still bored. I do want to know what Elyse has on Ramona though… The next day, Luann calls Ramona to find out just that. All Ramona says is that Elyse has negative energy. Then Luann says she is “writing a book.” I love how all these housewives see themselves as authors when they all hire ghostwriters. I remember when the NY Times Best Seller list was about real authors. I hate this whole scene. Luann is the worst fake crier of all of them. I used to love Lu but this is just annoying. She said at Leah’s party she drank Captain Morgan the night before.
Dorinda’s Birthday Party
Am I weird? I mean I know I am weird. What I mean is I don’t understand adults throwing themselves these elaborate birthday parties. I just try to ignore my birthdays. Dorinda is throwing a party for herself at Russian Samovar. I checked out the menu and it just isn’t my thing. This is NYC and there are so many choices. This would not be mine. What do you guys think? I very rarely drink hard alcohol. I like to drink a lot. So it is best I stick to beer and wine. And I rarely if ever drink at all in public these days. Well I mean I haven’t left the house to go to a bar or restaurant in nearly six months but even before that.
Luann on the other hand is drinking vodka at a bar. Not wise. Dorinda’s good friend Colin Cowie and his boyfriend arrive. Ramona seems to think Dorinda should not have invited John. Shut up Ramona. No one cares what you think. It’s Dorinda’s birthday and if she wants John there, John should be there. I do think Dorinda used John though. But hey, a girl has to keep her free dry cleaning. One thing I agree with Leah on is that Ramona is totally awful even when she thinks she is trying to be nice. Ramona told Leah, “Your mom was much smarter than I thought she was. I thought she was going to be a ‘simple person.’ ” Jesus.
It’s Like Luann Thinks She Is Marilyn Monroe Singing To JFK
Dorinda is so well behaved tonight that I am going to miss her. She tries to help Sonja close out all the apps she has on her phone and Luann tells her to get off the phone. If someone did that to me I would shove my phone right up her ass. It’s Dorinda’s party! You are not the boss of Dorinda, Luann. Then Ramona chimes in. Can’t we have one nice party? Le sigh. I know the answer to that.
John gives a sweet toast to Dorinda. So then of course Luann must do the same. Which is fine. Let everyone toast the birthday girl. But of course Leah thinks it is inappropriate. Who gives a fuck what Leah thinks. Everyone should give a toast to Dorinda. Isn’t that the whole reason she threw herself a birthday party? John’s toast was short and sweet and about Dorinda. Luann’s toast was way too long as if she and Dorinda are best friends. Luann is drunk as a skunk. This is not a toast this is a verbal dissertation. Then Luann forgets that there will be no autotune on the show and sings Happy Birthday. No one joins in. Dorinda mocks her in her talking head and seems to be laughing at her at her party.
Thank the baby Jesus next week is the finale. I need for some of these shows to end! I am so underwater right now. I can’t stay caught up on recaps and my email box is KILLING ME. I look forward to having time to pee and maybe was a dish or 97.