ARGH! This is episode 13 of the season. It looks like there are still at least five more Below Deck Med recaps at least in this shit season. Also, this season has the highest rating of them all. So, I guess they are tuning in to see Tom, the world’s greatest yacht chef have a temper tantrum. Imagine if he had had Micromanager Sandy riding his dick every second. I’m sure she will come in a clutch him to her bosum soon. While Bugsy and Malia are trying to placate the cursing cook, Jess and Rob are having a pillow fit. I am not making this up. In the end, all the guests go to bed fat and happy.
The deckhands are all over the place and it is time for another picnic on a rocky beach. The scenery is beautiful but the rocky beaches are not. Also, that misogynistic one that got fired for his hideous social media, and Rob are completely ignoring all of Malia’s orders. So, hard to pick a side here. All three of them are awful.
Let’s Have An Orgy!
After a delicious lunch and several ass pics at the guests request, it’s time for the belly dancer to arrive. Really? there are three are four pretty much totally naked (aged out) yacht girls on the boat already. It appears the theme of tonight’s event is orgy. Because, Bravo wants us to know they can always be more disgusting. The old guy comes out in an elephant thong. Um, just use your imagination. Apparently, the theme is Arabian Nights. It looks more like Mardi Gras in the 1980s.
The people who got salmon for dinner loved it. Those who requested chicken got “raw chicken.” He appears to be claiming the kitchen has a sous vide machine. Well, if they didn’t like the lobster in the sous vide machine why did he do the chicken in it? I don’t even believe there is a sous vide mache on the oat.
Laundress In Chief Sandy
The next morning, Micromanger Sandy pays a visit to the laundry room to berate Jess over being behind on laundry. Why aren’t the machines going? Well, because some fool decided to fire the head stew before finding a replacement so now everyone is trying to do more than one job. Oh and there was a beach set up. Also, a new chef who doesn’t know where anything is. And, it’s all cutting in to Jess’s makeout time with Rob. Then, Laundress in Chief Sandy drags Bugsy down to the laundry room to point out that they are behind on laundry. So now we wave both exhausted stews in the laundry room getting bitched at and no serving the guests. Idiot. Laundress in Chief Sandy claims there were no guests up. But, there were guests up.
Well it seems Micromanager Sandy needs to fire Bugsy. She doesn’t know what huevos rancheros are. That’s right up there with the Brazilian kid not know what to cook when “Las Vegas food” was requested. What I want to know is why are you doing a preference sheet meeting with in an hour or two of the last guests leaving Rob books his trip to Bali with Jess. They are really really cute together. Too bad he is such a douche. Very early the next morning Aesha shows up to be the new second stew.
Next week: The primary is Johnny Damon. He’s a repeat customer and it is always a shit show.