ARGH! This is episode 13 of the season. It looks like there are still at least five more Below Deck Med recaps at least in this shit season. Also, this season has the highest rating of them all. So, I guess they are tuning in to see Tom, the world’s greatest yacht chef have a temper tantrum. Imagine if he had had Micromanager Sandy riding his dick every second. I’m sure she will come in a clutch him to her bosum soon. While Bugsy and Malia are trying to placate the cursing cook, Jess and Rob are having a pillow fit. I am not making this up. In the end, all the guests go to bed fat and happy.
The deckhands are all over the place and it is time for another picnic on a rocky beach. The scenery is beautiful but the rocky beaches are not. Also, that misogynistic one that got fired for his hideous social media, and Rob are completely ignoring all of Malia’s orders. So, hard to pick a side here. All three of them are awful.
Let’s Have An Orgy!
After a delicious lunch and several ass pics at the guests request, it’s time for the belly dancer to arrive. Really? there are three are four pretty much totally naked (aged out) yacht girls on the boat already. It appears the theme of tonight’s event is orgy. Because, Bravo wants us to know they can always be more disgusting. The old guy comes out in an elephant thong. Um, just use your imagination. Apparently, the theme is Arabian Nights. It looks more like Mardi Gras in the 1980s.
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The people who got salmon for dinner loved it. Those who requested chicken got “raw chicken.” He appears to be claiming the kitchen has a sous vide machine. Well, if they didn’t like the lobster in the sous vide machine why did he do the chicken in it? I don’t even believe there is a sous vide mache on the oat.
Laundress In Chief Sandy
The next morning, Micromanger Sandy pays a visit to the laundry room to berate Jess over being behind on laundry. Why aren’t the machines going? Well, because some fool decided to fire the head stew before finding a replacement so now everyone is trying to do more than one job. Oh and there was a beach set up. Also, a new chef who doesn’t know where anything is. And, it’s all cutting in to Jess’s makeout time with Rob. Then, Laundress in Chief Sandy drags Bugsy down to the laundry room to point out that they are behind on laundry. So now we wave both exhausted stews in the laundry room getting bitched at and no serving the guests. Idiot. Laundress in Chief Sandy claims there were no guests up. But, there were guests up.
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Well it seems Micromanager Sandy needs to fire Bugsy. She doesn’t know what huevos rancheros are. That’s right up there with the Brazilian kid not know what to cook when “Las Vegas food” was requested. What I want to know is why are you doing a preference sheet meeting with in an hour or two of the last guests leaving Rob books his trip to Bali with Jess. They are really really cute together. Too bad he is such a douche. Very early the next morning Aesha shows up to be the new second stew.
Next week: The primary is Johnny Damon. He’s a repeat customer and it is always a shit show.
TT thanks for the recap. I did not watch again, 4th week in a row. I just keep hoping for the day you post an inside source update that this shit show has been cancelled and we never ever EVER have to see Sandy & Malia on our tv screens again.
Last week was the most watched episode in all of the seasons of Below Deck Med. So until we stop watching the assholishness, it will keep going.
I stopped watching after last week. Deleted it off my DVR.
I’m out, too. I broke my own promise to myself to never watch if Bugs and Sandy were on, in the hope they would redeem themselves. They only got worse at backstabbing and micromanaging when not even qualified to manage. Then they added Malea to the mix. This time I’m staying out.
Didn’t watch it, didn’t watch the other thing where the former reality game show host will be tracking his ratings more than his poll numbers. I will be strong with both convictions not to watch.
I will, however, troll Sandy if she’s back on the Twatter. 🙂 OK… maybe not, but I will look her up (I unfollowed her… again, not gonna add to her numbers).
I can’t believe she berated Bugsy. Oh wait, yes I can. Hell, Hannah even said that she wanted people to lay off Bugsy, that she just got caught in the crossfire (I don’t remember exactly how she put it).
Speaking of not watching … the previews for Don’t Be Tardy are up. I only watch for the twins. My favorite is when they speak Spanish and the others don’t know what they are saying and my second fave moments are their ITMs when they talk about the craziness. Once they fail to amuse me, count me OUT!
@Nanette – Speaking of not watching- did you see this weeks episode of Evil Lives Here – I killed Dirty John?
Yes! I chat every now and then with Terra on IG. Not a “rarely chat” a la Denise and Brandi, really a couple of lines.
EVIL … didn’t show what I REALLY was hoping it would. Her mini Aussie, Cash, was instrumental in saving her life. I keep “subtlety” campaigning for Terra to be the LIFETIME Ultimate Walking Dead Fan on Talking Dead. She REALLY used moves she learned from watching TWD to defend herself from John. She’s discussed it before. I think, just as important, it informed her mental state. TOO OFTEN, nice, decent people are disarmed of their own weapons, or killed with them, because they don’t have the mindset to kill someone. Even in self-defense. On TWD, we see “normal” people having to kill to stay alive. Terra still feels bad but she WAS ABLE TO DO IT.
NO ONE ELSE can say The Walking Dead LITERALLY saved their life. Hence, Lifetime Ultimate WD fan.
@Nanette – I watched another documentary a while ago, and Terra explained about The Walking Dead and correct me if I am wrong, Cash may have gotten injured?
What a positive mission statement to have “NO ONE ELSE can say The Walking Dead LITERALLY saved their life.
Enjoy your day – I hope there are little surprise pockets of joy.
If they are playing Tardy… are they running out of shows?
Tardy sucks! I watched the first couple of seasons and it was so ridiculous watching Kim pretend to be so wealthy. I can’t stand her and it’s so sad to me seeing the comments and backlash her oldest daughters get. It’s true, that she’s turned them into her mini me’s, but it’s sad that the young girls are talked about like trash by the public.
I’ll watch when I need a laugh. I’m serious. I think it is hilarious. And there aren’t many funny shows anymore.
No the Tards filmed the upcoming season was filmed almost two years ago… They were paid and for some reason it was collecting dust on the shelves until….soon.
I won’t be recapping the Tards but I watch it. Or rather I’ll DVR it. This is the most fake season ever where they pretend to go around the country on an RV. And they sort of do, But they fake sleep in the RV and then go in their fancy hotel. And they would stop for gas and spend hundreds of dollars at the convenience store. And Kim was always begging for her next check ALLEGEDLY according to Tamara Tattles exclusive sources.
The fact that it was collecting dust made me think they were never going to air it… which is why I thought they are starting to get desperate for new shows.
Honestly, I’ve not watched the one they did yet, but I heard it was good. Wasn’t it Kandi and Porsha? I think they should give Kandi and Porsha a show to moderate via Zoom; they could highlight different aspects of the movement around the country, and not just BLM, but people doing the work about the kids trapped at the border, voter suppression, etc. Or if not them, Bevy Smith would be good too.
YES! Kandi, Porsha and Bevi Smith. Also, don’t laugh, Nina from Nightly Pop. That show has become my guilty pleasure. Morgan, Hunter and Nina actually crack me up.
The Tards! Bwahahaha! My belly laugh of the day!
I am watching and just saw the scene where Tom is complaining to Malia that he doesn’t know where anything is. THEY SPENT TWO SCENES addressing that. One with Malia and Bugs dissing the state of the galley — Kiko was messy and disorganized. One with Tom wiping everything down and rearranging. SO HE SHOULD KNOW where EVERYTHING is because HE put it there!
Also, that galley is HUGE for a galley. It is more spacious than my home kitchen with WAY more counter space. The storage area is HUGE too. Other than cooking for more crew on a larger boat, it looks EASIER than cooking for 4-8 people on a small boat. I wish someone would explain WHAT makes cooking on a 50-meter vessel more difficult. (The expectations? Expectations should be high on a yacht of any size!)
Wow I guess the chef isn’t having to much fun , the Arabians Night was great ,love Alex bally dancing was laughing my xxx off… the laundry stack up and the kids want to have fun in the middle of staff crisis, I think the kissing can wait for later but is a second stud is coming, this shartter need to end am exusted watching them work… Captain Sandy getting on my last nerve…ok the end finally here…till next charter…
We going to ibiza will see what happens next…
Laundry should be going 24/7? Does she expect the stews to stay up all night? Maybe in her spare time Sandy can just do the laundry.
Malia is clearly d***whipped.
So sad…will not end well for her!
TONITE WAS A SH_T SHOW AS EXPECTED. TOM HAD A MELTDOWN BC HE HAD TO WHIP UP A CAKE, DUH HELLO SO DOES EVERY OTHER CHEF THAT COMES ON BOARD! MALIA RIGHT UP HIS A_S AS EXPECTED BC SHE HAS TO HOLD HIS ITTY-BITTY HAND! WHAT DID BUGSY DO? JUST RIDE HIM LIKE A BUFFALO! I THINK HE’S not made out for this kind of work. So he curses & is frustrated at just abt everything! Oh well Karma , Malia it’s coming!
I guarantee it! :
Malia is just a plain Bi#@h. She’s a hypocrite.
Why doesn’t Sandy do the laundry? She is a person who likes to complain and yet live her life believing she is saying positive things. She is delusional. She did it to Hannah on the dock when she made it all about her. She has no idea how awful she is because she can’t see herself how we see her..
Malia doesn’t deserve respect after her lack of respect for Hannah. Going into Hannah’s purse and taking out items to photograph is unforgivable.
OK I’m all for bashing Sandy & Malia because they have been terrible people. But I gotta hand it to Bugsy. She handled this charter like a pro. No complaining, just doing. She was aware of everything & nothing got missed. Aside from the rubes they had as guests (so tacky especially the dad – ugh) who thought poached food was undercooked, the meals looked incredible. I’m getting tired of the constant make out sessions with Ron & Jessica but we know that’s gonna end badly. I’m wondering if Jess has ever really worked a solid day in her life. And Sandy? Just put the laundry in the machines yourself! “I know we’re a stew down & everyone is working 24 hrs a day but I just got up from a nice night sleep & I don’t want to see this pile that no one else can see.” Puleeze!
I have no interest in this show however I enjoy TT Recaps – The old dude in the elephant thong… Hell to the NO!!!
I have enjoyed the other elephant pictures but that is one elephant I do not want to see.
I never thought of relating the man’s elephant photo to the elephant photos TT posted. Hilarious and perfect timing.
He didn’t even come close to filling it out either
@Ingrid- I know – I keep imagining him running round asking all the girls Do you want to see my elephant? and the reply being ” Let me just go grab my magnifying glass.” as they run off to hid in Ali Babas cave.
@Joey – Ingrid has been a bad influence on me today due to her ” bar fly” post over the Countess’s singing.
There was a cartoon show years ago based on the Arabian Nights and I just keep seeing the thong dude saying – The size of an elephant – No – The size of a mouse.
Bwahahaha bwahahaha bwahahaha!
I was going to say he as illusions of…..grandeur
@Michelle Prinvale – You are correct – he does have illusions of…grandeur,,,it is the size of a mouse and he wishes it was the size of an elephant.
Haven’t watched a full episode this season! Can’t stand Sandy! Malia too, beyotch!
In fact I’ve pretty much stopped watching Bravo altogether! Yay, I’m Bravo free!
Will continue to come here for recaps, comments and for Tamaras’ wicked sense of humor and cause I adore y’all!?
I find myself scouring recaps of shows I do not watch, simply for TT’s inimitable writing style and the comments!
@ Elizabeth Rose – I thought we all did that?
No longer watching this show. Not giving Bravo the ratings that ratchet network wants. Will read your recaps & will watch the reunion only to see them all get there comeuppance. It’s like watching wrestling. Fake characters manufactured storylines & production drivel. No thanks Bravo. I would rather not.
I like Bugsy. She is definitely the stew you want when you are a guest – or as your co-worker. She works really hard and she is very upbeat. Give me a friendly, hard-worker on my team any day of the week!! You can let someone’s energy or positivity get on your nerves, but at the end of the day – your guests are happy and the job was done well. Sandy’s putting her on a pedestal is not her fault. Hannah and Bugsy may have gotten along fine this year if Sandy hadn’t been up Bugsy’s ass. She & Hannah were working well together. Sandy commended Bugsy for everything while ignoring Hannah.
Also, I’m really enjoying the banter between Bugsy & Alex. They would be a cute couple. Malia & Tom – that will be interesting. Tom is accustomed to having a sous chef – and probably also had a crew chef. He IS probably above all the Below Deck Shenanigans – but he unfortunately should have considered that before signing on to a reality show. You can come out looking golden or you can come out with your reputation tarnished. Hopefully things turn around.
I totally agree!! I like Burst and Alex too!
I am starting to see Tom’s side. Those people were too ignorant to appreciate that sous vide lobster and chicken are poached EVENLY, while retaining moisture, the point of sous vide.They are just rich rubes. You don’t need to be sophisticated to appreciate it, I bet little Roy Orbison III would have liked the TENDER lobster.
I think Tom was pissed because the provisions were not on board — as we have long-suspected, most often the preference sheets and provisions are not done the day before. An oven was broken. The cake he made looked divine. I am SHOCKED the people weren’t bummed because it wasn’t Costco birthday cake!
Also: I like Bugs, and have since the beginning. She hasn’t turned off her IG comments, either, which I admire.
Costco’s chocolate cake is sublime! Stop with the slander. Lol.
Bugs did do a bang up job but let’s give props to Jess too. As other posters have said, she’s probably never worked hard a day in her life but that charter made up for it. Captain Sandy, you are where the buck stops. If the laundry piles up because your only two stews are running around like chickens with their heads cut off, PUT A LOAD OF FUCKING LAUNDRY IN!!!!!! If you have time to lean, you have time to clean. You should never ask your staff to do something you wouldn’t do yourself. That is why you are a shit boss. You should never be above a job on that boat, regardless of what it is, unless you are dangerously unqualified. I am sure you wash your own drawers at home so you know how to run a damn machine. SMDH.
I would love to see how Malia would treat Sandy if Sandy were no longer of use to her. Malia is a user and an opportunist. Sandy serves her a purpose. Does Sandy not see that Malia is just using her to get ahead? If something changed and Sandy could no longer pull strings to help Malia advance in her career, that whole relationship would disappear in an instant.