It’s time to head back to the DC area for another RHOP Recap! Sometimes a week feels like a whole year over here. I can barely remember last Sunday. And yet, I persist. So let’s do this.
We have seven full on housewives, somehow this season is going to be about Charrisse? Maybe she should be holding the glass of whatever it is and Candiace could just be ignored? Especially since she has told everyone to shut the fuck up. Can we just get to the scene where Monique throws her around by her weave? Because I am living for that moment. My head already hurts. Can’t we just get through this scene? Candiace and Charrisse are suddenly besties. Add in Wendy and we have the triumvirate of evil. Karen is so obnoxious too. But at least she is eating dinner. Speaking of, I may or may not have forgotten to feed Banjo. So I just either feed him twice or fed him late.
Ashley Is Nervous About The Sip & See
Anyway, we get some jawboning off camera with Monique and Candiace. It seemed petty. But, Production sure seems to be giving Candiace a lot of camera time with confessionals. They seriously can’t be take her ratchet side, can they?
Ashley is worried about germs at her Sip and See for the baby. It’s kind of the point of a sip and see to be socially distanced from the baby. This was before social distancing was even a thing. The baby should be in a bassinet perhaps with a netting covering. No one should be allowed to pick up the baby. It’s a sip and see not a sip and pass the baby around! Also, Ashley continues to overshare.
We Meet Wendy’s Family
Wendy has a nice house, an attractive husband and the requisite 2.5 children. She just seems fake. I do love that she and her husband are Nigerian. And I love that she just threw shade at Phaedra with a “Mr. Chocolate” reference. Mr. Chocolate according to Mama Joyce’s streets was Jamal Bryant. So she is also shading Gizelle. I can’t find it in my hear to hate on Gizelle or Robyn, they both seem so damn likable. I try to hate on them, but it’s just not possible most of the time. I love that Wendy’s mother is teaching Ebo to the boys. Wendy is doing a total sales pitch on herself. It may actually be working on me. If she wasn’t allied with Candiace, she’d be a nobrainer.
I have to fast forward through the bird scenes. My best frienmie, Nanette is a bird person. So I feel bad but, birds freak me out. Especially OWLS. Terrifying. When she wants my drunk ass off her telephone, she stands by a bird cage. lol.
Mr. Chocolate FINALLY Makes It On A Real Housewives Show
I’m so bored and then I see Wendy with that baby girl. OMG. She is GORGEOUS. I may have to follow her on IG for my happy place along with Frederiks babies. Sometime we all just need to see a cute baby. Okay. I think I might love Wendy. I too talk to children like they are adults. Especially when teaching.
Jamal Bryant gives me the creeps. Can we skip his part? Mr. Chocolate always looks constipated. He is not cute at all. Why is Gizelle so into this dude? What is going on with the collar thing? Also he gives his daughters a restaurant in Atlanta? Well technically even further out of Atlanta as most housewives. Spoiler alert. It completed shut down and will not be reopening according to the AJC. And Also this dude doesn’t even have a job. The very lucrative mega church scam? Also quashed. When your kids tell you that their own father is not a good person….LISTEN. He must have a golden dool because women with enough sense to know better keep giving it up.
The Sip And See…
As we all know this will not go well. Ashley is so nervous about finally having a filming with all the girls in her penthouse. She is going to let people touch the baby. NOPE. That should never happen at a Sip and SEE. But she even lets Candiace hold he baby. I have to say Candiace really seems like she wants one. Oh I like Karen’s hair. But Karen doesn’t like Wendy. When Charrisse arrives, Ashley wonders why someone is knocking “like the Po lice.” lol. Because it is Charrisse and she is here to start some shit at a party for a three month old. Just wait.
Ashley always has that baby on her tit. NTTAWWT, it’s just a lot during a bitchfest. And here we go. Give that baby to your mama and wipe the floor with some of these women. Starting with Candiace and Monique. This is not the time or the place. I DEPISE CANDIACE. She’s awful. But she totally did the right thing on bailing on this scene. WTF wants to fight a bitch at a Sip and See? So for that, I give Candiace kudos. Also lets say that tomorrow I win eleventy billion dollars in the lottery. I WOULD NEVER as long as I live be a walking billboard for some tacky designer like Karen (and Dorit) do. It’s literally the tackiest thing ever. Really the only thing designer I would buy is a brown plain leather Birkin bag. And that is only if I were a billionaire. Am I the only one who thinks that designer clothes with the name all over them at SOFA KING tacky?
Good Lord, Why Is Candiace Suddenly Respectful
Has she grown up? Developed a Brain? Worried about losing her contract? Candiace came after one of my favorite people on Twitter and said HORRIFICALLY bad things about the child he was holding. THE CHILD! So it is kind of difficult for me to get behind this sudden growth. I want us all to grow and change as all living things do. But this sudden emotional growth from Candiace seems production driven. Which brings us to Candiace and Ashley talking like adults?
Gizelle. You need to shut your face about Monique. I do not care if it is true or not, IT AIN”T NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.