I have been up all night and am starting to fade but I am going to at least start the 90 Day Fiance The Other Way Recap because I’m exhausted from “toting” (SWIDT?) in groceries on no sleep and probably not making sense, But this is what I want to watch. At least the first hour. I totally need a shower. And to take five months of clothes to the fluff and fold. WHAT? If you had to go to the fluff and fold during a pandemic…you would not want to go either. Plus I am not sure they are even open.
Mama And Baby Huey
Colteeee and is mommy are in her hotel room after Jess threw a fit last week over who was minding the cats back home. While me and Deb are just fine with situation, Colteeeee is worried he may never get his dick wet again, so he goes chasing after Jess. Oh wait, no he doesn’t. At least not yet. Debbie is pretending she didn’t deliberately do what she did. She’s a sly one. And I am here for it. I had to pause to refeed the dog because his summer body is starting to look more like the dogs I saw in Romania. We finally got our Chewy order and he is old and persnickety about eating. Now if I could get him to drink more water. Where was I oh yes Baby Huey.
Mama Deb tries to convince Colt to sleep in her room on the pull out. But the dick wants what the dick wants. So Colt goes back to the room. Jess got Vanessa’s info from his cell and she confirmed that they are best friends and still talk. Jess wants to murder Colt. She throws her shoes at him. Can we please be over with Colt and Larissa and this new famewhore? PLEASE. Jess says she is going to fuck another man becaue COLT IS TRASH? LOL. PLEASE. Let this end. I’m surprised Baby Huey didn’t go to his mommy.
Asuelu & Kalani
Sigh. Banjo is not acting right. I think it will be a while before I am comfortable going to bed. Asuelu is not an adult. Now he is seeing ghosts in the bathroom. I cannot with this. Then Kalani says she heard something in the bathroom too. They both think there is a ghost in the rental. They both want to leave. Koloni, the bitchy sister shows up. This just keeps getting better for poor mentally challenged Asuelu. I really like Asuelu but I don’t think he possesses all the faculties to be an adult. He doesn’t seem to have the normal amount of gray matter.
Asuelu’s sister Rosa is deaf. His other sister, Tammy knows a bit of sign language. I guess not one else talks to her? Asuelu and his mother have a very dramatic meeting. Clearly, his family odd. Kalani was freaked out that Asuelu and his mother basically made out when they met. His sisters seem like they don’t like Kalani. Asuelu has a temper tantrum over Kalani pointing out he full on made out with his mother. I get that most American’s don’t kiss their parents on the mouth. But it happens in other cultures. Isn’t Kalani Samoan?
Asuelu’s Family Wants Money
Asuelu is in love with the food truck court. He’s never seen one before. He orders enough food for an army. Then it is time for his Mama to ask for money again. They don’t seem to understand that Asuelu doesn’t have a job. Asuelu finally tells his family that he has to support the family. Kalani asks the sister if she send money home. Somehow, that is none of her business. LOL. His family storms out over not getting money. Do they not realize that Kalani is paying his way and for their 19 kids? He is barely working! And spends all is time playing video games. Asuelu finally realizes he is only important to his family if he gives them money. So sad.
Libby & Andrei
I know I am in the minority here and I don’t care. I hope Andrei kicks Libby’s brother’s ass. You don’t fly to another country and act like that. The brother is clearly voting for Trump and he thinks Americans are superior to every other country. His passport should be revoked and he should be stuck here in Trumplandia. Oh wait… We are all stuck in Trumplandia. Fortunately, he’s killing his own voters first with a ton of collateral damage. The Trumplandia states, where I live, are all FUCK MASKS and let me put my kid in a school where they will likely get “the hoax.” Unfortunately, that could be a death sentence for them all and their children. I went on a grocery store run today. I’m good for another 6 months or so. So party on Trumplandia. Hope you all die before the election. Sorry. I just hate the whole”If I get it I get it crowd.” Charlie is a dick. LOL at Libby’s dad. “We don’t do that in our country.” Bullshit. Charlie would have had a bullet in his ass at the very least IN OUR COUNTRY, Shut up Libby’s Dad and Charlie.
Charlie is a douche. And drunk. Andrei tells Libby for them to pack their bags and leave. The way Andrei is treating Libby’s family is A MILLION PERCENT OKAY. They are essentially at his home and interrogating him and treating him like shit. And worse they are giving the WORLD more reason to think that Americans are fucking assholes. Because her father and brother have been fucking assholes from the start. Libby and Andrei leave. Libby berates him. I think Andrei should just go to his home and leave Libby to be with her redneck idiot family. Andrei goes back to fight Libby’s brother. And I am just fine as frog fuzz about that.
I’m Just Fine Being Team Andrei All By Myself
I am all alone being Team Andrei and I am fine with that. I do sort of agree with his friends that he needs to smooth the situation over; however, I feel like Libby’s father and brother need to drop the interrogation tactics. I have a feeling that is what drove Andrei over the edge. I also believe (with no evidence at all) that Andrei left the police department and the country due to corruption. And that corruption probably also resulted in in interrogations. I agree with Andrei that his wife needs to be supporting him. Eventually, she leaves with him. But very reluctantly.
Angela & Michael
Michael can marry me for a damn green card at this point. I feel bad that he is trying so hard…for Angela? She treats him like shit. I should warn him that I am realistic and I too cannot “tote his baby.” I hate that Angela is the person from Georgia. And is he really so stupid to think that Angela can “tote a baby.” My baby toting days are over but you can have one with someone else. Angela is a moron. I’d like to take this time to apologize on behalf of the state of Georgia.
It’s only a week away from the wedding. And these two are going cake tasting with Michael’s family. His family is upset that the wedding is going to be more American than Nigerian. Then Michael’s family offers to pay for a big wedding for them. But then, Michael’s family is very upset that his elderly bride can’t “tote a baby” and she has no eggs. SHOCKER. I’m younger than Angela and I am quite sure I don’t have eggs anymore either and haven’t for years. This is ridiculous. If they were rich they could use a surrogate but I don’t think either of them are employed outside of the show. Ah the family members suggest surrogate also. Perhaps one of them will volunteer. But they still need an egg donor.
Bless his heart, Michael really wants a baby and he seems for some reason to really love Angela. What a bad spot he is in. No offense but why is Angela so wrinkly? I am constantly moisturizing. I am not very pretty anymore, but I am constantly moisturizing and NEVER FORGET THE NECK!
Why is she still on this show? I don’t give two shits about her. Throw her back over the wall or something. Thanks. And Have a nice day. Why does this bitch have a ring light in her bedroom? Are there any grown adults on the planet who can’t afford a Motel Six for a month? I mean really.
Tania & Syngin
These two are staying in an Air BnB. Syngin is really happy to see his brother. This relationship is doomed no matter how may times she flies to South Africa. Syngin plans to go out with his brother and his friends without Tania. So Tania spends time with Syngin’s mom and sister. First they go shopping. I want all the giraffe things at the market. I have way too much giraffe stuff already. I need to be selling now buying. Tania cries about wanting a better relationship with Syngin. But his mother thinks she has no idea what she has gotten herself into.
Paul & Karine
Well, we already know things end in disaster for these two. Last I heard Karine was still hiding out in an undisclosed location with the baby trying to get away from her abusive husband. Karine loved the house until she realized how close it was to the train track. I don’t live super close to the train track. But there is one a mile or two away. I think they increased the speed the trains were allowed to go recently and I have only recently started to hear it. Come to think of it, I haven’t heard it in a while. Perhaps they reduced the speed again. I also live near an Air Force Base, and when things heat up in the world, I know before anyone because the planes all take off in a hurry. Also If I am outside, I can here the BLARING intercom with the morning wake up song and the night time bedtime song. It’s literally miles away! Haven’t heard that lately either. So I get where Karine is coming from.
Next week is more drama. Shocking No? lol.