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You are here: Home / Blind Items / Blind Item: Apples & Oranges

Blind Item: Apples & Oranges

August 5, 2020 by tamaratattles 60 Comments

There are all kinds of apples. But this one in this story is a green, sour apple. It’s in a bowl of fruit with a bunch of peaches and a tasty orange. The apple thinks it is the best fruit in the bowl. “There is no one like me,” it thinks. The peaches are just happy being peaches. The orange just does its thing. It likes the fruit bowl just fine, but sometimes she likes to roll out of the bowl and do other things.

When the orange wants to be in a different bowl for a bit, it pays for the bowl, she designs the new bowl with her own money, she selects the other fruit in the bowl, she arranges the bowl, and shoots video of the bowl all with her own money. Then, she goes to the people who own the bowl and asks nicely, “I have this great idea for another bowl you might like. Here is a sizzle reel I produced about the bowl. Please watch it. If you like it, I will help pay for the bowl. We can work on producing it together. And if we sell a lot of bowls we can get more bowls for me to hang out in. Let me know what you think!” And the people liked the orange and the oranges ideas and they made many bowls together and allowed the orange to hang out in other people’s bowls.

The peaches were happy for the orange and content in the first bowl for the most part. The orange was sweet and treated people and fruit nicely. But the sour apple was becoming more and more sour in the bowl. The sour apple went to the people and said, “I am the best fruit in the bowl! I want my own bowl. Figure something out for me. It needs to be a better bowl than the orange! I want you to pay me to move to a better bowl! Do it now!” And the people didn’t like that. So the people threw the sour apple in the trash.

Then the people and the other fruit hear the sour apple screaming! “You are mistreating me because I am green!” The other fruit thought that was odd. They were all green once, and then they matured and got sweeter. The apple just stayed green and sour. The orange rolled around between a lot of bowls. But was always happy to return to the bowl with the peaches. One day there was a new peach. And the peaches, and the orange and most especially the people who own all the bowls lived happily ever after. And the green apple began to rot and while still sour, also started to stink until the trash was finally taken out  to the street. And the apple still wondering why no one realizes that the was the best fruit in the bowl.

The end.

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Filed Under: Blind Items Tagged With: Blind Item

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. 3Gatos says

    August 5, 2020 at 1:28 am

    Aha! So Kandi is the orange and the sour Apple is Nene. Kandi is so clever! One smart cookie!

    Reply
    • Calipatti says

      October 11, 2020 at 5:08 am

      Kandi is also kind, works well with others and knows the business side of production. Kandi has been on Bravo long enough to know everyone can be replaced.
      Really enjoyed her singing o Masked Singer.

      Reply
  2. Nanette says

    August 5, 2020 at 1:36 am

    If oranges didn’t represent RHOC and peaches RHOA and apples RHONY, I would think that the orange would be Kandi, who brings ideas with merit and puts in the work,and THEN is rewarded. I would guess the sour bitter rotten apple would be Nene, who is claiming she is treated poorly because she is black and not because she is a sour, bitter, ungrateful rotten apple. Maybe the fruit varieties is a red herring. Or maybe that fishy stench is Nene rotting away in a Dumpster.

    Reply
    • dixiepatton says

      August 5, 2020 at 2:07 am

      My prayers are that Nene is gone and we don’t have to hear about her ever again…

      Reply
      • Kim says

        August 7, 2020 at 6:54 am

        That’s your prayer to god and bout someone else???

        Reply
  3. Hihokermit says

    August 5, 2020 at 1:54 am

    I love this blind! That sour puss of a green apple is a perfect representation of Nene.

    Reply
  4. MelG says

    August 5, 2020 at 2:22 am

    This is AMAZING!!!

    Reply
  5. MelG says

    August 5, 2020 at 2:23 am

    This is AMAZING!!!!

    Reply
  6. Deb Lubin says

    August 5, 2020 at 2:26 am

    This is one of the first blinds l feel confident that l got! LOL. So sour apple is NeNe; orange is Candi (although for a minute l thought it was Cynthia, since she moved to LA). Fun to read!

    Reply
  7. CC says

    August 5, 2020 at 3:29 am

    The orange is paying for some of the production or is involved with production. Andy and Nene.

    Reply
  8. Itsmombitch says

    August 5, 2020 at 6:17 am

    Great fun analogy to read. Cannot wait for Nene trash to be gone for good.

    Reply
  9. RubyLuby says

    August 5, 2020 at 6:49 am

    Extremely well written Dowager Tamara! “Bravo!”

    Reply
  10. Elizabeth Rose says

    August 5, 2020 at 7:38 am

    This made me happy! ?

    Reply
  11. CC says

    August 5, 2020 at 7:55 am

    I almost think this is about Kenya being the orange.

    Reply
  12. thetatumtalks says

    August 5, 2020 at 8:04 am

    The only problem is the orange is extremely boring to watch, while the rotting apple isn’t…but yes… everything else is accurate.

    Reply
    • Lisa Cantu says

      August 5, 2020 at 10:39 am

      The problem is after you bite a sour apple too many times it leaves a bad taste in your mouth so you don’t want sour apples anymore

      Reply
      • CC says

        August 5, 2020 at 11:51 am

        Some people prefer sour apples. It is an aquired taste. I wonder if the Green apple wondered why it never changed colors.

        Reply
  13. JustJenn says

    August 5, 2020 at 8:21 am

    Bye wig. Close your married legs to other men, wig.

    Reply
    • IJC says

      August 5, 2020 at 9:53 am

      Haha!

      Reply
    • Kiki26 says

      August 5, 2020 at 11:46 am

      JustJenn – this is just the absolute BEST comment!

      Reply
    • Melissa Waters says

      August 5, 2020 at 6:24 pm

      Best post of the day!!!

      Reply
  14. housewifehater says

    August 5, 2020 at 8:23 am

    What = “bowl”? This was fun but have to admit I am lost. But I can say this- “Tomato IS a fruit!” Thanks to inspiration from TT after decades of not vegetable gardening, I finally gave it another try. I know tomato is a fruit now because my very own tomato plant produced fruit that tastes like CANDY! So far we have eaten three.

    The trick was getting a “patio” varietal which saved the plant from rabbits and other pests.

    Reply
  15. lou lou de la falaise says

    August 5, 2020 at 8:51 am

    I had to google and see what other shows Kandi had on bravo as I had forgotten them all except for the misfire Kandi Koated Nites.

    Reply
    • CC says

      August 5, 2020 at 9:25 am

      Kandi has had other shows, but they did not last long. She was also talking to other networks. Todd has a background in production.

      Reply
    • snow626 says

      August 5, 2020 at 1:17 pm

      Kandi is on the Chi, Broadway, releasing new music, and was the winner of the Masked singer . Kandi (the orange) has been rolling all over other projects even several with Bravo.

      Reply
  16. tuatha12 says

    August 5, 2020 at 9:04 am

    Nasty Nene is the sour green rotten to the core apple.

    Kandi is the orange and the peaches are RHOA

    Some of the bowls could link to The Masked Singer, The Chi. Old Lady Gang plus songs written for other artists.

    Thanks TT I needed this just sat through a virtual funeral for my mentor John Hume.,.. 2 John’s in less than 4 weeks, The old guard are getting taken by angels… 2020 is one fecked up year however I am expecting 2021 to be exceptional in many ways.

    John means – God Is Gracious.

    My heart is soothed by that fact – mine and my father’s John’s where men of peace and their beliefs and values will be remembered by the people -especially the younger generations and may help make “2021” an exceptional year in the US and Europe.

    So remember Peeps as Nanette pointed out about your John – Vote, Vote, Vote.

    Reply
    • Nanette says

      August 5, 2020 at 3:26 pm

      Bwahahaha. I love you so much!

      His first name is JOE! Like when I said Mario (dad) Cuomo instead of Andrew (son) Cuomo for 2024 recently. We figured it out, along with the VOTE, JUST FUCKING VOTE message. That is so important. We cannot have another 4 years of Trump.

      Reply
      • tuatha12 says

        August 6, 2020 at 7:43 am

        @Nanette -I meant your post about John R. Lewis when you spoke about the Vote. John R, Lewis’s friend a wee Irishman called John Hume was buried yesterday they both believed in Martin L. King and John Humes belief in MLK enabled him to bring about ” The Good Friday Agreement”

        John Hume received the Nobel Peace Prize, Martin Luther King Award and the Ghandi Peace Award.

        I am worried sick that Trump will be voted in for another 4 years with his friend Bungling Boris- Oh God the thought of dumb and dumber together is seriously driving me to drink – I am off for an Irish coffee- it will be my hair of the dog. VOTE!! VOTE!!

        Reply
  17. IJC says

    August 5, 2020 at 9:57 am

    Tamara, I think this is the best blind you’ve ever written. So clever!

    And all the people and the fruit and the viewers said Amen.

    Reply
    • tuatha12 says

      August 5, 2020 at 10:56 am

      Amen

      Reply
  18. FarFromPerfekt says

    August 5, 2020 at 11:01 am

    To my fellow TT commenters, I just wanted to say thanks for all of the laughs and yes, even the heated arguments/debates over the years, it’s been a lot of fun! There are so many of you that I almost feel I know personally and I will truly miss your snark and quick wits! Now, on to my PSA… Please take care of yourselves, COVID-19 is nothing to take lightly. Perhaps we will meet someday on the other side but until then, Cheers to each and everyone of you.

    Reply
    • tuatha12 says

      August 5, 2020 at 11:14 am

      My BIL sent me a very similar email yesterday in regard to his PSA.

      The best things in life are the people we love, the places we have been and the memories we have made along the way.

      God Bless You. xxx

      Reply
    • IJC says

      August 5, 2020 at 11:53 am

      FarFromPerfekt, if this is what I think it is, just know you have been a valued member of this community and the love goes both ways. Blessings and Godspeed, friend. xx ?

      Reply
    • tuatha12 says

      August 5, 2020 at 12:30 pm

      So TT Tribe grab a glass of your favourite tipple go to Youtube- type in

      Hozier – The Parting Glass (Live from the Late Late Show)

      Raise your glass [email protected] as she continues on her journey.

      Slàinte Mhath ( Slanj-a-va) FarFromPerfekt – Thank you for your company.

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        August 6, 2020 at 2:04 am

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          August 6, 2020 at 2:06 am

          Reply
    • Deejay says

      August 5, 2020 at 2:39 pm

      I’ve always enjoyed reading your comments. Blessings to you. ??

      Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      August 5, 2020 at 2:44 pm

      Cheers, my friend! I sent you an email. Thanks for your enduring support, even when I’m a giant asshole. xoxoxoxoxox ~tt

      Reply
    • Nanette says

      August 5, 2020 at 3:07 pm

      Best wishes to you. I found Tamara Tattles when I was VERY DOWN. It made me laugh (best medicine) every day. Laughing and sharing helped me hang on until, like magic, one day the light peeked through the darkness. Shortly after, my medical chronic pain condition began improving along with its accompanying mental lows.

      Whatever is happening with you, I hope you know that people here love and value your comments — and by extension, YOU. I hope you feel better soon. Please let us know how we can help.

      Reply
      • The Other Shay says

        August 5, 2020 at 4:57 pm

        Me, tooooooooo…….so long ago!!!! I would just lay in bed and read alllllll her posts….as far back as she went. I knew I had found my FAVORITE place on the internet. <3

        Reply
        • Nanette says

          August 5, 2020 at 11:12 pm

          That describes me. For MONTHS, I spent much of the day in bed watching reality TV, in pain, even while on major painkillers. I thought it never would get better. (I hadn’t watched anything Bravo but Top Chef and Project Runway before my dark years.) The other thing I did was spend HOURS each day trying to plan the perfect PAINLESS suicide. I couldn’t use my painkillers because my doctor would get in trouble and he and all of his patients would suffer.

          When I found TT, it was right after a friend gave me his old iPad. TT not only gave me laughter, I started interacting (electronically) with people after being isolated. I’ve told Tamara before that it wasn’t “just” her marvelous and quirky writing, it was the COMMUNITY that SHE created that was invaluable. It kept me hanging on long enough to get better.

          Reply
          • Hihokermit says

            August 5, 2020 at 11:20 pm

            I’m so glad that you’re past that horrible time in your life. I enjoy your comments!

            Reply
            • Nanette says

              August 6, 2020 at 7:44 am

              Thank you. The people here mean a lot to many of us. TT has created the best online community. I pray we all get through this. We all can GDIAF after the pandemic!

    • Hihokermit says

      August 5, 2020 at 8:56 pm

      You will be missed.

      Reply
    • MelG says

      August 6, 2020 at 12:46 am

      Prayers going up for you Far From Perfekt! Much love!?❤️

      Reply
    • LA_in_KY says

      August 6, 2020 at 1:14 am

      Sending love your way, and appreciation for a fellow TT website lover. I hope we hear from you again soon.

      Reply
    • LaLaFly says

      August 6, 2020 at 1:49 am

      May you be blessed and feel the love that pours out toward you from people you have never met. May that feeling of loving care stay close to you. May I you be comforted by that love. ❤️

      Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      August 6, 2020 at 2:00 am

      I spent all day hoping to hear from FFP again. I emailed her. No response. I went back and read all of her comments and cried. She survived stage three cancer. AND IT IS THE GODDAMN FUCKING COVID THAT IS GOING TO TAKE HER OUT?

      Life is so unfair. I don’t want to believe this. I LOVE that she loved when I told people to GDIAF. I love that she would defend this site from intruders. She’d tell people to read the commenting rules and STFU if they didn’t.

      I hope she is able to share some more words of wisdom with us. I haven’t stopped crying all day and I am angry. I hope she comes back to talk to us at least one more time. FFP is our family. I hope I at least get an email with an address…

      Reply
    • Raenie says

      August 6, 2020 at 2:56 am

      I am praying for you and your family

      Reply
  19. Barbara R says

    August 5, 2020 at 12:03 pm

    Very clever. I liked this post.

    Reply
  20. kkarlmcf says

    August 5, 2020 at 12:52 pm

    This is great, TT! I’m gonna be my best Kenya and share this with my friend who LOVES Nene.

    Reply
  21. Mrs. Joyce says

    August 5, 2020 at 1:43 pm

    After the first few sentences Kandi and Nene came to mind. Nene has been jealous of Kandi since Kandi came to the show, calling her ghetto and what not. Kandi is one of the only wives on the show who really hasn’t shown any ghetto behavior now Nene on the other hand. I have not been a fan of Nene since she was on the tour bus with Kim and treated Kim horribly out of jealousy when Kim was only trying to share her experience with a moose she thought was her friend.

    Reply
  22. Lisa Lisa says

    August 5, 2020 at 2:44 pm

    Finally taken out to the street!!!!! Sour and rotten to the core with mold, mildew wormholes and fruit flies.

    Reply
  23. The Other Shay says

    August 5, 2020 at 4:58 pm

    GREAT POST, TAMARA!!!!!!

    Reply
  24. SaraSally says

    August 5, 2020 at 7:02 pm

    Initially, I thought of Porsche & her rallying in the streets & subsequent arrest. And I read on it seemed Kandi fit the part. Of course, this sour ? will always be that sour ?.
    Nothing less, & nothing ever more.
    Joy.

    Reply
  25. The Shadiest Grove says

    August 5, 2020 at 7:37 pm

    She’s not Ms. Unforgettable for nothing. Poor NeNe, you can take the girl out of the hood but you know how the rest goes.

    Reply
  26. Momof3 says

    August 5, 2020 at 8:17 pm

    I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your blinds TT. Made me so happy today to see it . I only read it when I had a chance to sit and really enjoy it . Seeing my guess as the one most people picked, was just the icing on the cake ?

    Reply
  27. liv ?? (@MacLiv) says

    August 6, 2020 at 1:53 am

    Definitely Nene with her bitter old crab apple. She’s had so many chances over the last ten + years and blew them all. Her jealousy is her own worst enemy, it started back when Kim shafted her over ‘Don’t be Tardy’ most of the housewives were gaining ground while Nene was telling her audience to ‘get raped by their uber’
    If you want to get on in life you have to be respectful first, know you’re capabilities and accept when you’re wrong. Kandi works hard, has always worked hard, she’s even prepared to step back and let others shine (like she did with Kim) Kandi at her worst will always be better than Nene at her best. .

    My first comment on this site, I follow TT on Twitter… the strange Scottish lady who pops up now and again.. lol I’m a MASSIVE HW fan and watched them all, even the repeats.. often.

    Stay safe and never trust your government…

    Reply
  28. lorelli says

    August 6, 2020 at 9:57 am

    I don’t watch any of the Housewives franchise but I know enough from this site that the sour apple is Nene. Finally!!!

    Reply
  29. slw84 says

    August 6, 2020 at 11:38 am

    This was the best analogy to discuss Nene (sour green apple), Kandi (orange) and the rest (peaches).
    Hope Nene invested well.

    Reply

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