I starting this RHOBH recap about an hour and a half early because my brain is NOT working today. In fact, it hasn’t been for a while. The other night I was making dinner for me and feeding Banjo. When it came time to add the wet food to his bowl, I dumped it all on my dinner! Banjo ate well that night. Covid Brain ain’t not joke. But this is the show with the most comments by a mile. Last week I wimped out and just did a discussion forum and it was fantastic! You guys had almost 200 comments! But I am dying to go to Rome tonight, so I shall plod through and share my thoughts.
Let The Roman Holiday Begin!
I find it hysterical that production put Denise and Garcelle on a second flight. Maybe first class was full on the main flight? Or most likely, they want the other women to trash Denise all the way to Rome. I’d rather fly with Garcelle and Denise. I adore Kyle and Rinna but they would be A LOT to fly with. On the other hand, Rinna could sanitize my seat for me. We didn’t get any plane footage, so my conspiracy theory is shot. They do all the trash talking in the cars. You can’t tell me Rinna wasn’t filled in on the 9 hour plane ride. Meanwhile, Erika and Dorit are appreciating the sites and being grateful to be there. This is the hotel they stayed in. If I ever get out of the country again, I am staying someplace GOOD.
I would never leave Rinna’s room. They can see the Vatican from her window. And she has a huge out door
smoking area patio. I’d like the Rinna suite please. Meanwhile, Kyle calls Dorit to see what she is wearing. She says she is wearing a white shirt, black pants and flat boots. “So casual,” Kyle responds. Dorit says yes. Then we go to Dorit’s room where she is in a Chanel white shirt. I know this because in true Dorit style it says CHANEL on it. So tacky. And she has a hair and make up person with her. Why would anyone take a glam squad on VACATION? And, for reasons totally unclear, the woman is gluing fake pearls to her hairline. Le sigh. Oh dear GOD. She has fingerless gloves that say Coco. Honey you are in Italy. This is Versace territory.
Time For Drinks In Italy!
I was wondering where Sutton was. She has to get her passport renewed and is threatening to book a private plane. I recently FINALLY got my new passport and am ready to flee ASAP! I kind of forgot to recap because I was so excited to see the sites. Rinna wants to play the stupid go around the table and discuss what the most trouble they got into as a teenager game. Sigh. Kyle starts. When her mom found out she had lost her virginity, she called a family meeting! Kim caught her in the act and told the whole family. Did I mention that all of Atlanta must read this site because Black Box Merlot is sold out everywhere? My neighbor who kindly went to get me some says the wine aisles are all wiped out. And we have HUGE aisles of nothing but wine. People are losing it at this point. Wine is the new toilet paper around here. Garcelle and Denise finally arrive in Italy after their flight was delayed. The other ladies seem surprised to see them. Really?
OMG, They are going to the Spanish Steps the site of one of my childhood traumas. I was probably around seven years old and went with my parents and my brother who was around 17. Spending time in Tripoli, you learn how to haggle. So my mother would look at all the venders wares on the steps and then just walk away or attempt to haggle. Well, she attempted to haggle with one guy and he got very angry for some reason. He called my mother a name in Italian that my brother understood. The next thing you know my brother and my generally docile father are in a physical altercation and I am terrified and bawling. I don’t think any actual blows were thrown but there was much shouting. I can’t stop bawling and mother basically told me to shut the fuck up. That was almost as scary as the time we were surrounded with machine guys pointing at us in Turkey.
More About Me! Ummmm I mean Roma!
Garcelle seems to think that if she didn’t get her passport she could have flown private and would not need one. That is not how the world works, Garcelle. You can come by donkey like Jesus and if Jesus did that today, he would need a passport. Wow, I guess they don’t allow vendors on the steps anymore. I also don’t think there were all the high end stores there in the 70s. It seemed to my seven year old mind to be a pretty sketchy area. I think Fendi is tacky. Oh I remember the Trevi fountain. It’s odd the things you do and don’t remember when you were seven. That’s like almost fifty years ago. I believe that was when I got my first alcohol. lol. I think that might be where the gin popsicles were. They were delicious. I wanted two. Mama said no. Daddy might have said yes…
The second best thing about this episode after the travel porn, is I HATE DORIT AGAIN! YAY! I knew she couldn’t be likeable forever. And Sutton has a fucking ring light and a glam squad of two. /eyeroll Kyle and Kim are in a good place and have a sisterly phone call. Rinna uses Erika’s glam squad and that doesn’t bother me at all. Tonight everyone is getting super glammed up for a dinner party at a fancy Roman restaurant. Y’all know what that means. It’s ON! LOL I love new girl Garcelle who refuses to play the game. She say, “Dorit and Erika were having a fashion show. Come on! We are having dinner at the hotel!”
It’s Time To Confront Denise
Sutton did not like her white wine and the waiter suggests Pinot Grigio. WHAT THE HELL ELSE DO YOU ORDER IN ROME? And then she tells Garcelle that she was offended when she asked at their dinner together where she got her money. Garcelle apologizes. And thus begins the airing of greivances. Teddi, the only sober person starts it. She repeats all the nasty things that Brandi said Denise said about her living in her father’s shadow. Denise said she never said any of that and I believe Denise. This seals the deal for me. I am TEAM DENISE.
And why is it “really bad”, Teddi if Denise and Brandi did hook up? Denise has been beyond open about getting happy endings to her massages. Why would she deny this? So Teddi is the one tasked with telling Denise what Brandi said. Kyle says that Brandi thought she was in an open marriage and the next morning Denise say never to tell Aaron. This is an awful thing to do to someone who can’t go home. Denise says Bravo Bravo Bravo and tells them not to air this footage. I mean who cares if it isn’t true. And Teddi is sort of a snake in the grass who said Denise does the Bravo Bravo Bravo thing to keep things from being edited.
The Fourth Wall Comes Tumbling Down
They play a flashback of Denise saying Bravo Bravo Bravo in the past to make footage unairable. Or so she thought, but here we are nonetheless. But if it was untrue, she surely wouldn’t want false allegations aired. Sutton, bless her heart, tries to interject some decorum about what is and is not appropriate dinner conversation. She claims to have already heard the rumors about Denise and Brandi but THAT IS THEIR BUSINESS. And who on earth relies on Brandi Glanville for truth? And now I find myself awkwardly on Dorit’s side when she tells people there was no need to bring this shit up at all. Denise says if they ever want her to be on the show, they need to cut that.
Next Week: Brandi’s shit stirring becomes more obvious.