Before I start tonight’s Below Deck Med recap, I have a few quick things to mention. I was watching the end of last week’s Below Deck Med with “unseen” footage. One new scene was the primary privately telling Micromanager Sandy that there was a noticeable friction between the crew. She automatically assumed it was Hannah and Bugsy. Then when he guests left they complimented Bugsy individually. The other was, Hannah made a comment about Valium, then a few scenes later they showed her in her cabin taking medication before bed. I don’t always have my eyes on the TV while typing. So I don’t see everything. That could explain why Captain Sandy talked to Hannah about being “checked out” and not herself. So, does she get fired for Valium? That seems to be the set up.
Anyway, it is time for tonight’s episode where Sandy is on the rampage again. She is being awful to Kiko. Kiko says he is not going out tonight. He’s going to work on his night off. And the bitch made him cry. She was so condescending to our little Kiko! Then the poor thing has to go to the preference sheet meeting. I think this must be storyline and he only has like five charters in his contract. This better not be another excuse for Ben to come in! It’s a four day charter. That is murder for the chef.
It’s time for the crew to go party! Alex is still embarrassed about his drunken moves on Bugsy for the last crew night out. So, this time he is vowing not to drink. He seems genuinely interested in her. Dear Lord! I thought Bugsy was joking about the Cyndi Lauper amount of cheap accessories she has piled on. But nope, she actually go in the van dressed like that. While everyone else is out enjoying a fancy dinner and drinks, our sweet Kiko is cleaning the galley like crazy and reading the preference sheets over and over. I want to give him a hug.
Alex compliments Bugsy on her “unique” fashion. So I guess it is going to work for her. Bugsy looks great in her talking head! She is pretty just as she is. The accessories detract from her natural beauty. Then, off they go to the bar. Hannah is missing her only friend, Kiko. Malia and Bugs spend time in the bathroom trash talking Hannah AND KIKO! This has got to be scripted. Also while the crew is out being terrible, we get scenes of Kiko working hard, taking some time to play his guitar, and talking about how fortunate he is to have this opportunity. Alex comes home wasted.
Sandy Starts Another Drama
The next morning, Malia tells the guys to meet her on the aft deck for a quick meeting. Guess who went running to observe the meeting with her arms crossed? Did you guess the Micromanging Sourpuss? I bet you did! And once again, Captain Sandy threatened to fire Jess if she can’t even manage to do laundry. This caused a whole lot of finger pointing between Malia, Jess and Hannah. The solution to this problem is for Jess to do the fucking laundry instead of running to everyone to complain about who tattled on her.
The guests arrived very nicely dressed and looking expensive. Once again, the Kiko drama has to be storyline. The primary’s wife calls him out before they even get onboard. This never happens. The problem with people dressed to the nines is that means four suitcases each. Their preference sheets were cheap American foods like hamburgers and chicken fingers. When Kiko meets with the guests we have a no gluten person, a no veggie person, a no meat person. This is all total bullshit. Where are these people from? They seem to be trying REALLY hard.
Shortly into the trip, the weather gets bad and they finally get to a cove to drop anchor. For some reason we get a brief shot of Jess delivering uniforms to Malia and Hannah’s bunk. She has a weird look on her face. Hannah is really working hard to help Kiko. But he insists on pouring gravy on filet mignon. Who does that? No one. Especially not a Brazilian. This is just fake crap and it’s irritating me.
Then people who don’t even know how to swim are allowed out in open water on jet skis. Is that even legal? Malia lets them know she is a rescue diver. They tell her to “get ready then.” Really? If you want to operate heavy machines in open water, learn to fucking swim. The waves are bad. This is not water for amateurs. It’s a guy with a female on the back going full speed into the waves. Malia starts screaming for them to stop. They don’t. They both go flying. The jet ski flips and Malia yanks off her microphone and dives in to save them. This is day one of four. Sigh.
Kiko Pulls One Out
At dinner it is one of the couple’s 15th anniversary. Bugsy does a really nice tablescape with a couple of dollar store balloons with the numbers I and 5. The micromanger is so pleased I though her stimulation might soil the table. Kiko’s must be the world’s greatest actor. He’s playing the role of chef who suddenly can’t cook pulling off a multiple course dinner for 12 when he had planned for six. And of course the Great Overseer will be at dinner. Did I mention how irritated this makes me? But Kiko is playing along like a champ.
Dinner starts of really well. And it ends well. But for one course, Hannah suggested he do chicken because it is on the preference sheet. And one guy who is pescatarian, got sea bass. Well, I like chicken a lot. But if the other option is sea bass, I’m going to be pissed I didn’t get that option. And one of he chicken diners, maybe the primary, felt the same. But the micromanager seemed pleased and really that is all that counts.
Nacho Best Meal
The next morning, Jess is in charge of setting the breakfast table and she did a great job. Alex and Bugsy take the guest to ride a trolley in Parma to Sóller. It’s very romantic. If I ever get to Spain, I want to do that! I loved getting to see the hat shop! After the spectacular outing, it’s back to the giant, fugly megayacht. Hannah has been helping Kiko refine his “Vegas menu” which includes much of the trashy foods the have on their preference sheet. Captain Sandy gives the greenlight to forcing the male deckheads to be “Chippendale’s.” Because, that’s not sexual harassment. /eyeroll But the guys seem fine with it.
Oh Lord. There is fried chicken. The nachos look gross. The sea bass looks great. But do you really fry sea bass? Literally everything is fried. Except the brownies which basically get nixed by Bugsy. Then, Sandy sees the nachos. Hannah makes another Valium reference in her talking head. This is going to be the end of sweet Kiko. The nacho downfall of Kiko being compared to that idiot chef who could not cook is infuriating. It’s interesting that Bugsy refused to serve the brownies but not the nachos.
A Glimmer Of Hope?
There may be hope yet. Sandy tells Kiko to just get through this charter. She dismisses him with “just do your food.” You know the food she told him to stop making even though everyone loved it. He says, “And then I leave?” And she says yes. Well, there are two more days for this bullshit storyline to have a miraculous happy ending. Maybe Ben missed his flight.
Next week: Malia gangs up on Hannah with Sandy. Perhaps this was all a way to get Hannah and her Valium off the boat? And Kiko will stay? Fingers crossed. Hannah just wants to be home with her man.