Million Dollar Listing LA not only comes on on a busy night, it is 75 minutes long which makes it difficult for me to recap timely because of other shows. So this may be my lasst MDLLA recap. I’m not getting many views and I feel like you guys are kind of over it. Plus, my recaps are basically about the houses unless something goes down. They are kind of boring. So we shall see if the show improves or goes back to 60 minutes. I lost power here during a scary but brief storm, but for now we are back online.
Altman & Flagg
One thing I am loving about this season is Altman and Flagg working on a huge co-list. I really do like this show, it just doesn’t inspire much discussion. And yet, someone was kind enough to spoil me on what happens with their listing. Le sigh. Flagg’s office is a disaster. It’s worse than my house! I’m surprised! I’d peg him for a neatnik. Altman has big news! He has a buyer for the Razor house! The hitch is it is one of his clients. Also, Altman can’t say who the buyer is because he signed an NDA. Which is kind of ridiculous because the buyer’s name is out there. Altman will be soley representing the buyer for now and Flagg will represent the seller. This should be fun.
The two Joshes meet at a Jewish deli to negotiate the deal. Allegedly. I always wonder if these negotiations are fake. Flagg finds out immediately that the buyer is Alicia Keys. The house is listed at $25 million but is was previously listed at $30 million. She offers $18 million all cash, quick close. I predict they will close at $22 million. The seller counters at $23 million but is authorized to take $20 million. I can’t believe they are eating gefilte fish. Altman says his best and final is $20 million. But, Flagg says that is not going to happen. They finally agree to $20.8 million. I think that is a steal for that house. Congrats, Alicia! Then we get a bunch of funny flashbacks that you just had to be there for.
James & David
James is showing properties to a very pregnant couple. Let’s hope she doesn’t have a baby in one of the properties. I have no issues with this listing in Brentwood. It has a nice kitchen as opposed to a galley kitchen. I hate galley kitchens. The backyard has the privacy they want. I love it! The female is not in love. She wants something more modern. The reason I liked it was it was more traditional. Next, they head to the Pacific Palisades. I still want them to buy the first house. It’s a beauty. But the Palisades are really lovely. The Palisades house has grass stripes on the driveway. I’ve never understood the whole grass between concrete thing. Sure it looks great but it must be a PITA to maintain.
James is excellent at showing houses and selling the things that the clients want. What he is not pointing out is how much baby proofing this house would need with all the sharp corners and glass stairways. She loves the amazing his and hers closets. Oh the backyard grass is fake! Perhaps the driveway grass is too. I would hate fake grass. But I guess the plus size is that the wife won’t be having an affair with the gardener. They are going to make an offer.
The house is listed at $6,785,000. And they offer $6.4. The house is owned by developer. He should jump on that. I think the guy wanted the TVs so maybe that will come into play. The developer counters at $6.65. And I was right. They are going to come up to $6.6 with all the TVs, some black out shades and a few other things. DONE! They named the baby, Tiger. TIGER! Really?
Tracy is high on life and a bit freaked out after landing a $500 million dollar portfolio with a very wealthy, very picky investor. They need to hold a broker’s open with food and drink outside. And a shoe check because people are not allowed to wear shoes inside the property. Nor can they use the bathroom. So I suppose she will have to get one of those fancy port-a-potty trailers with the sinks and the whole nine. Tracy and Josh are both in the office late. He is preparing to negotiate with Flagg and she has been told thirty two times by the investor that her broker’s open house is not good enough. Flagg says that he has previously listed with the investor and it’s going to break her. He only had the listing for ten days.
So now we are down to Tracy and her broker’s open. The investor is already pissed at Tracy. Things are not going well. He is extremely OCD. I just want to live somewhere that my bathtub is a giant walnut salad bowl. How exactly would my maid clean a wooden bathtub? As if Tracy was not already under enough pressure, the both the chairman and the CEO of her brokerage are there. Tracy double kisses both of them! Is that normal? Maybe one of them will buy the place? It is very much a man’s house.
Just When You Thought You Knew All The Fun Uses For Saran Wrap…
Flagg and his hot husband are also there. The security is so imposing that hot husband is afraid to go in. They are not allowed to touch anything or use the restroom or wear shoes or bring in food or beverage. They are going inside in small groups and the investor is with them most of the time. I just realized that slippers would be nice for my dirty floors. Also, I vaguely remember buying something from Uggs a few years back. I wonder what that was? Maybe slippers? I was never a slipper person until this moment.
The developer has saran wrapped the toilets closed. ROFLMAO. James thinks the house is over priced at $75 million based on comps. But really? There are no comps! David is leaning on a counter! OMG! The investor will shoot him if he sees this! He will not even let Tracy put her handbag on a counter! Amazingly the investor is leaving before it is over. And the Altman brothers stop him to say hello. He fired them after ten days. Altman told him the house was way overpriced. Now he says he is surprised he is not at $50 million. The brother points out there are houses on the water for a third of the price. Tracy sees the talking and runs to intercept.
And that’s a wrap! Next week, more real estate porn.