It’s time for another 90 Day Fiance Happily Ever After Recap. I remember when I used to call you all a bunch of stupidheads for watching The People’s Couch on Bravo. But TLC has Pillow Talk where former 90 Day Fiance couples watch from their beds (or sometimes couches) and I always tune in to get their thoughts! So there are at least six hours a week of this franchise, and frankly, during a pandemic, that is not enough. Darcey and Stacey have their own spin-off this summer. I’m not a Darcey fan but I will watch that too. And I can’t wait for MAFA New Orleans!
Larissa, Colt, Colt’s Mommy, & Jess
Sadly tonight we start with this clusterfuck of morons who are in fact the only really annoying part of the show. Maybe we can get them all out of the way early. Larissa is going to court where she thinks she might be getting deported. If only we were that lucky. She got another photo taken and took her fingerprints again. Weird. Colt and his mommy are headed to the airport to fly to Brazil. Mommy wants to go to Brazilian Walmart. American who don’t travel annoy me. She has no clue about anything.
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Mommy and Baby Huey arrive in Brazil and Jess is at the airport to greet them. She has decided not to tell Colt about her phone call with Larissa so as not to ruin the trip. This of course means she is definitely going to tell Colt about her phone call with Larissa. Jess says in an interview in front of Debbie that she needs time alone with Colt for “the sex” and they make out in the car after talking about baby names. Debbie thinks Jess just wants kids to tie him down. Debbie gets ill and irritated over all the PDA. Later she has some sort of a breakdown at the hotel she is exhausted. Cole reserved one hotel room. Jess is a moron.
Who is this hot guy Eric who Larissa suddenly broke up with? And she said he “drove him crazy like a roulette wheel. She filed a police report on Eric. She’s such a skank. Is he wearing a wedding ring on his middle finger? This all seems fake. I do sort of remember him on IG back when I had time to read there. Run, Eric, RUN! How much are they paying you to give her a storyline? Also, Larissa has a decent grasp on English. So why can’t she stop adding random eeeeee on every other word. I feel like she is doing it more this season since people call her attention to it. Like it’s her trademark of annoyance or something.
Angela & Michael
Angela has her friend Mimi come to stay with her mama and nem while she is gone. Because, Angela is legitimately concerned that her mom might die while she is in Nigeria. Mimi must be a good friend. I can’t even find anyone to watch my dog. And her friend JoJo is going to Nigeria to be her witness. Why is she driving to the airport? I guess because she lives so far away? But it is really cheaper to take a very nice limo than it is to pay for parking on a long trip. Plus schelpping all of your luggage to the parking lot? She’s too old for this shit. I am hyperventilating at how far toward the back of the plane is. If I have to fly coach I call and get put in the bulkhead row. The further away from the door I am the more anxiety I have. And yes, I understand I can’t actually go out the door on one level, but really, it matters tremendously.
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I feel like Angela and Michael really actually love each other. But did anyone tip or even thank the random guy that helped with Angela’s luggage? Michael is happy to show Angela the apartment he has chosen. But it isn’t exactly the Four Seasons. She likes it at first. The living room is very nice. But she hates the hard beds in Nigerian. She demands he find her a soft bed. Michael seems to think such a thing doesn’t exist in Nigeria. She likes the cute little table in the kitchen and so do I! But what she doesn’t like is the giant rat. But at least it is dead in a trap. Michael chases her with the dead rat. Oh hell no.
Elizabeth & Andrei
And off we go to Moldova! Andrei’s mom sets a beautiful table every single day of her life. It’s totally a full time job that takes way more than 40 hours a week. It’s much more like a 70 hour a week job. Andrei insinuates this is what Elizabeth should be doing. So Elizabeth points out that she is supporting the family.
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The next night they go out without the baby for drinks with Andrei’s friends. Elizabeth is worried that the boys will just talk in Romanian all night. His friends do talk to him in Romanian about why he is not working and having his wife support him. Ah, how do traditional gender roles feel now, Andrei? Libby talks to the few females in the mix about her sister Jenn and how she is worried her sister my offend some people at the wedding. Andrei is a dick in the car ride home because he doesn’t much care for Jenn.
Karine & Paul
Back in Kentucky, something seems to be wrong with the baby! Or not. It’s there first full day in the US and Karine is annoyed by Paul and the crappy car and just everything. So they are arguing. And Paul wants them to go out to dinner with his mom. She is fed up with the entire situation and rightly has no faith in Paul to support her and the baby. Karine is not willing to go to dinner because at the very least the baby is fussy. So Paul goes without her. Because, idiot. Paul’s mom says she would not have come if she knew Karine and the baby were not coming. Paul reminds me of Lawn Kid. But Lawn Kid is only 19. She’s done being his fall back plan. I get it.
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So without Mommy giving him money, he decides taking Karine to a budget supermarket might make her love America. I love going to grocery stores and convenience stores in other countries. But it can be very overwhelming if you are actually trying to find certain things. I love the grocery store near my favorite Paris Hotel. I just was notified that rooms are slashed by 80 percent there. If only they would let us come into the country. Fuck you Trump. My passport is coming in a few days. But sadly, I have to stay home with Banjo anyway. I probably could convince the neighbors next door to come over and let him out twice a day and feed him on the second time. But I’d miss him too much. Are they in a Walmart? Karine is not impressed.
Why is Paul trying to sell her on America with feminine hygiene products. I agree with her. Brazil is better than Kentucky with Paul and is superiority. Then Paul takes her to look at a trailer that clearly isn’t even up to code to live in. This has to be a joke. Then they look at an RV type thing. I am ready to buy Karine and the baby a ticket back to Brazil.
Tania & Syngin
Tania is miraculously able to go to get a manicure with a friend. She can’t however walk to the bathroom without Syngin carrying her. Tania is worried about Syngin’s drinking. Her drinking is right up there with him sometimes too though. Syngin is feeling really tied down to Connecticut since he accident. And now he doesn’t really want to live in the US. He’s also hung up on the whole soulmate thing. Last season, she and Syngin went to a psychic or something and told her that Syngin was not her soulmate. Then she left to spent six weeks or so in Costa Rica during their 90 days. He deserves better and he seems to be figuring that out.
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Things with these two are not going well. Tania cries and demands an apology. Syngin is having second thoughts about Tania. He should have thought of that before he married her. Syngin is feeling very tied down. He wants to travel and she can’t even travel to the bathroom on her own. Here’s homesick. He is not happy with what he has seen of America. He’s in a tiny town and wants to go somewhere else.
Kalani & Asuelu
I am so anxious to find out where Asuelu is. I feel like they should have filed a missing child report. Because, let’s face it Asuelu can’t survive in the world on his own. Apparently, the night he ran away from home, Kalani texted him and he gave her three wrong locations to go look for he before finally telling her where he was. It sounds like he wanted her to take him to the bus station to go back to Utah. But eventually, he came home and he hasn’t left the bedroom since. Now Kalani’s whole family is there and he’s still hiding under the bed or whatever. But her mom fills her husband in on the whole situation. I’m annoyed that some kids birthday party that he will never remember is being treated like a holiday event. Asuelu refuses to join the family. Instead he is playing video games.
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Asuelu continues to refuse to come to the birthday party for his child. He’s being a straight up dick. Kalani’s dad is not having it. He was kind to Asuelu THIS TIME. But makes it clear to us that he really wants to beat his ass and he won’t get another free pass. Asuelu goes to the party but never apologizes to Kalani.
Next week, Everything gets worse for everyone. Who knew that was even possible?
I love reading your perspective on this crap. You crack me up. Isn’t that the guy Larissa had with her on her season tell all episode?
I think you’re right. I’m guessing lack of sexeee and Colt being with Jess. Had Larissa rethinking her decision to break up with Eric. And he appears dum…I mean kind enough to give Larissa a second chance
He is a horrible actor. So scripted . He is a fucking nut job to get back involved with her. She is broker than the 10 commandments and desperate. He’s a few fries short of a happy meal .
You’re killing me, Charlie!!! Too funny!!!
How about when he tries to act with his eyebrows
I love the scene when he was supposedly ‘working out’ in his garage.
Larissa is desperately searching for any man to marry. She wants to stay in the US
Syngin came to the States on a K-1 visa but he acts like it’s such a surprise they got married. It’s possible, however, if Tania hadn’t skipped town for much of it Syngin would have realized this wasn’t what he wanted after all. I don’t understand with “bills piling up” why they’d spend money on manicures and expensive dinners out. I don’t even get how they afforded to move into what looks to be a nice house. First month, last month, security deposit, that takes a chunk of change. Unless they make enough money from the show.
All of these versions of 90 Day are my guilty pleasure but I can’t do like a binge watch on them I end up wanting to yell a the TV then i scare the dogs. Since Tania left to do some crap in Costa Rica to get a job here why is she not working in that field? It was medical something.
Long ago I used to see your Recaps of this show and never knew what it was. Now I’m like you, and I can’t get enough hours of the week of it.
You’re hilarious calling Coltee Baby Huey LOL I think it’s hilarious that coltee is taking his mom to Brazil with him to meet Jess’s family. He’s in his mid-to-late thirties isn’t he, unbelievable!
Andrei is difficult to watch. He is so condescending to his wife as he sits home and doesn’t go to work. I don’t know any man that would take that much money from their father in law instead of just going to get a job. His controlling and jealousy scares me for his wife down the road. I can’t believe she puts up with it but she looks like she’s allowing it from the beginning & teaching him how to treat her.
Asuelu and his wife are difficult to watch as well. Especially when he’s talking about what an easy job she has taking care of two kids under 2 years old. I don’t know if he is all there. How does a 24 year old man hear that the kids are only covered for the measles 93% w/ vaccine and still ask the doctor if it’s safe for them to go to Samoa? I think you already said it, she has three children, not two.
I don’t understand how Larisa is still in the country if her marriage ended in a short period of time not to mention the three arrests.
Sorry for rambling. I’m stuck at home alone too, for 4 months now. Losing communication skills, really! I wish I could dog-sit banjo for you. I could really use a sweet little fur baby to hug & love on.
Thanks for the recap & the laughs, always!
So my husband and I met working for DOD in the Pacific. A good friend who is Samoan introduced us. We worked with many others who were from Samoa. In a lot of Pacific Island cultures usually the first birthday of a child is a huge deal. According to tradition, everyone who has met the child is invited. This stems from high infant mortality rates. Since they had just moved to Utah from California right around their child’s first birthday, they may have decided to do the big party for his second birthday instead. California has a large Samoan population so their is probably extended family coming. For kicks we sent some clips to friends of ours who are Samoan. They all unanimously agreed that the behavior Asuelo exhibited is childish and backward.
I personally believe Kailani is being wise to delay the trip to Samoa. The scary thing with measles is that their can be complications that do not show up for up to ten years! Encephalitis is no joking matter. If their first child had a reaction to the MMR vaccine, rushing the second child might be problematic. MMR used to be given earlier. It is now done between 12-15 months of age. The reason this changed is because younger babies have antibodies from the mother and this make an MMR vaccine less effective if given prior to one year of age.
Coltee=Baby Huey is DAMN PERFECTION, DAMMIT!!!!
I wonder if Production was responsible for Cheapee Coltee only buying one room. Although he IS that cheap! Also, I think a (big) part of him gets off on his mom being jealous of Larissa, Larissa 2, whomever. And his amours not liking his mom or wanting her around. He’s like POS Geoffrey getting off on two women fighting over him. Dolt (no typo) has that vibe.
I’m so sorry, after I hit send I see how obnoxiously long my post is. I didn’t mean for it to be like that. My apologies!
Your post is interesting, a great read. Not too long at all ?
You are kind, thx
Her trademark of annoyance!!! I love that so much!!!
Paul, Paul, Paul, get a job BEFORE you demand that Mommy support you. What a train wreck that guy is. I’m still laughing about one of your commenters saying she should have lost him in the woods\jungle in Brazil. I keep picturing him running around in his clunky boots. (Why do normal hiking boots look odd on Paul?). The pad \tampon thing was hilarious. “I know you don’t like the wings. ” I hope poor Karine has a friend in production. She needs a friend.
Larissa needs a storyline and Eric loves being on camera. After Larissa filed a police report on him im sure he cant stand the sight of her. Also is scared Jess will get more air time than her. The kids are cute on the show.
I think the it’s time we saw Eric was on a Tell All for a season of Happily Ever After. Larissa was televised in and Eric was her “new” boyfriend joining her to annoy Colt and Debbie. He came across as a total phony, paid for love of her life.
I wish they would deport her ASAP! She should go home to her children. It is BS when she says she is tryin to bring them here.
Paul needs to go get job..even at McDonalds until he can find a better place to work. His Mom would be more inclined to help him if he were at least trying I bet. Also why would be bring Karine to that trailer, which btw, had $500.00 a month lot rent. I bet in KY you can find an apartment that isn’t much more than $500.00 and move in ready. He’s a fool.
I HATE Colt. The scenes with his mom and the new green card seeker are so cringeworthy…I really can’t stand to watch them.
Micheal and Angela do really seem to love each other and have fun together, but I’m wondering what makes her lose her shit again next week and declare she’s “done” for the 100th time. Lol
That was totally staged. No Possible way in hell would pass any inspection by the city or county to be occupied for a residence. No way in hell. This show is getting more and more staged every season. They are playing us for fools now .
It’s so appalling that Paul keeps trying to hit up his mom for money and he still has no job. I mean, he was shopping in a damn Wal-Mart, stop and go to the office and ask for an application. I get the distinct, uneasy feeling Paul’s been sponging off his mom forever and she hit her limit 5 years ago. I think poor Karine had no idea he’d worn out his welcome with his family a long time past now.
Why is Kalani still breast feeding a 2 year old? Time to take him off the tit. Also, who brings their video games on vacation with them? They spent a lot of money on a party for a sick 2 year old who will never remember it.
Also, didn’t production pay for Tania and Syngin’s apartment? Why aren’t they doing this for Paul and Karine? I have a crush on Syngin. I think Tania is way too hard on him. She does nothing but put him down.
I was aghast and nauseated that Colt reserved a double bedroom with one bathroom for the purposes of a romantic trip with his girlfriend and MOM. Who does that? Also, why on earth any mom would want to accompany her 30 something son on a trip with his sex-obsessed younger girlfriend is beyond me. UCK! Did anyone else get the feeling that Tania’s manicure buddy wasn’t buying all the bitching she was doing about Syngin? I thought the friend seemed more on Syngin’s side and not willing to agree to all Tania’s negativity about him. I wanted to slap Aseulu. I can’t believe Kalani’s dad maintained self control not to do it. Also, how completely crappy was it that Asuelu purposely sent his wife driving around to random locations pretending to be there when she was trying to pick him up because she was worried. I can only imagine he must have been using Google maps on his phone to find phony places to send her? That’s practically psychotic.
Colt, Colt’s Mommy,Jess & Vanessa – WHY are you still on the show, please go away, far, far, away – Why would you only book a double room and then say it was an issue in communication – Is Colt still keeping his cash for porn?
Kalani – Your man child is starting to annoy me – BIG TIME
Karine – Paul is a large weight round your neck and will emotionally & mentally drain you dry. Paul get a fecking job.
Karine this man may drive you to murder him….I have a great gingerbread recipe..Call me ASAP
Micheal and Angela – I wonder if Michael is still in love with Trump – These two may actually work.
Thank you for saving me the time of writing a post, you said all I was thinking!
Is that a picture of Karine on the top of teh page? Or perhaps Larissa – the ;atter makes sense, she could have provided that ct on her face herself…
No, it’s Larissa, lol.
Two words for Kalani: BIRTH CONTROL
Amen.
But her husband said that condoms are only for sluts!! When Kalani’s brother jokingly gave him condoms, he was offended .
Colt/Jess/Colts Mom – Colt is just gross to watch – he and Jess are really over acting trying to sell this storyline. Same with the mom. He booked them all in one room- can you say screen time?
Larissa – I personally have no interest in her either. She’s like an empty shell of a person. Her accent has gotten worse the longer she lives in the US? Eye roll…
Kalani/Asuelu – it bothers me to wonder why Kalani thinks this man-child was the best she could do? I don’t see one redeeming feature that he has and watching him he seems to have the maturity and IQ of a 12 year old. Sadly many women seem to still believe that having babies will make a man out of someone or make a relationship better.
Andrei/Elizabeth- I am liking Andrei less and less with each episode. So he’s a male chauvinist that is also fine with not working and letting his wife support them? And his wife’s family is loud and rude yet he is fine with them paying for everything including the Moldovan wedding?
It’s almost like Andrei is trying to drive a wedge between Libby and her family, and Libby and HIS family as well. It doesn’t sit right with me that he’s taken several opportunities to bad mouth her family to his family and friends when it would be better for everyone if he waited to see if things could start positive and on a clean slate between them. Also, what was with him at first refusing to translate between his mom and Libby when they clearly wanted to bond over cooking and then when he did translate at the table, he didn’t tell her what his mom actually said. He told her a complete fabrication that served his purpose of putting Libby down and also made her seem aggro for no reason. You could see his mom’s face look puzzled and worried when Libby got agitated at the mistranslated thought. Libby probably thought her MIL was implying same nasty stuff that Andrei was and Andrei’s mom had no idea he’d lied about what she said. And I STILL don’t understand what all of Andrei’s chest-thumping “me man, you woman” stuff is about. He seems to be a good SAHP and homemaker (that word has no gender, it’s a descriptive) and she has a job outside that supports them…there’s nothing wrong with that but he seems pretty insecure and out to make her suddenly feel like dirt about the way they both set their family up. I’d be about ready to tell my dad to keep his 30K and on the next plane out with my child if I were her. Everyone is bending over backwards for Andrei and all he can do is act like a dick about everything.
A part of me thinks that Kalani wanted a Samoan partner.
The scenes with Michael and Angela were great. “I’m an Amercian woman, our men get rid of the rats” or whatever the exact quote was cracked me up, as did Michael chasing her with the dead rat. It’s good to see them having fun together. Looks like she is back to her old self next week though.
Colt and his whole entourage are unwatchable for me. Ick. Same with Darcey. I don’t know why they gave her a spinoff, but I won’t be watching.
Kalani needs to cut her losses with Asuelu and send him on back to Samoa. He’s way too immature.
Andrei is an ass and I would not put up with his shit. If he wants to pull the whole dominant man thing he needs to get a job first. And stop talking to Elizabeth like that.
I wonder if Paul has some sort of development issue as well. He seems slow. Karini will not stay in the US.
Tania and Syngin aren’t a match. It won’t last.
Hi TT. Loved your comment about hating Americans who don’t travel. That is a pet peeve of mine. My family took our first trip overseas in the 60s when I was 10. Might not seem like such a big deal except we are Black Americans and apparently we were quite the spectacle and literally freaked people out in Spain and Northern Africa. They pointed and stared everywhere we went. I always assumed this was because of the propaganda coming out of the US at the time due to Civil rights movement and they just didn’t expect us to look so normal and American.
Fun fact we were in Malaga for a bullfight (which I’ll never ever do again) and Jackie Kennedy O was there. People couldn’t decide who to stare at!
We finished the trip in Paris and no one paid us any mind so it was just like being back home in NYC. My sister and I were also made to study the countries we were going to so we wouldn’t be ignorant of the various customs.
So how come no one does that on this show?! I long ago learned how provincial Americans are when it comes to international travel but come on. There’s Google!
I was probably six or seven when we went to the bullfights in Spain. I had a dramatic meltdown once I realized what was happening and my mother was mortified. The Spainards just thought it was funny.
I’ve always heard Parisians were welcoming to Blacks, I hope to make it there one day. And since my 30’s, I’ve always researched the customs and history of any country I was visiting. It’s amazing how pleased & appreciative locals are when you ask or comment their country.
If you like to read, there is an excellent series of historical fiction — the Benjamin January books — by Barbara Hambly. I learned a lot of stuff they didn’t teach us in school. The books take place in Louisiana shortly after the Purchase. The protagonist, a free man of color, is sent to France to become a doctor because he couldn’t get that education in the U.S. Those books, and Josephine Baker stories, got me researching how different historically the views toward blacks were in Paris.
I know and to make it worse they butchered and sold the meat right there out of the ring. The whole “sport” was so brutal and really unfair to the bull. The toreadors come out first and stab the bull multiple times so when the matador comes out the bull is staggering around. The only fun thing about that was screaming ole!
Americans who don’t travel have no clue how others live. I was on Dominica (not to be confused with the Dominican Republic, Dominica is a different island) which has a pretty good standard of living relatively speaking compared to many of the islands. Behind the airport I saw a guy washing his laundry in a creek. I thought how lucky most Americans are, that they never have to do this. They take it for granted. They complain if their washing machine is broken and they have to go to the laundromat.
When I was in the DR with hubby, we were in the countryside and people were burning their trash. I asked the guide if that was legal, and he said they don’t have weekly trash pickup everywhere like you do in the US. I was super embarrassed at my lack of awareness. Later on during that same tour, we went to a “traditional” island home, and just listening to the people on the tour comment out loud how they couldn’t live that way made me uncomfortable, as if we were disrespecting their culture. The woman’s home who it was (supposedly) stayed to one side and looked out a window as we walked through, and I thought, wow, this is her/somebody’s home and folks are comparing it aloud to their own homes in their country and talkin’ ’bout they couldn’t live there. I wanted to cuss everybody out. I just went over to her & thanked her for allowing us to visit, that her home was lovely, and that many times I wished my living room was outside!!!
When Mom and I were in Hungary, our Polish guide told us to smile with our mouths closed. Because in some countries (Hungary) people don’t get good dental care and when Americans smile showing their teeth, it can be misconstrued as showing off or acting better than.
Asuelu works part time at a nutrition shop. Minimum wage in Utah is $7.25. He may work more than 20 hours. But on the other hand, I’m not accounting for taxes etc taken from his wages, so I’m going to guess he makes $145/week. Lanani said the airfare to Samoa is $3000 so it would take him 20 weeks to pay for.
That’s before the room (he suggested staying in a resort), meals, taxis, and the cash or gifts his family expects.
He doesn’t seem to have any concept of money. It’s her parents house so I don’t know if he is contributing to their mortgage or the utilities, the groceries, or even the car costs (gas at the minimum.). Who pays for the kids’ clothes or for the date nights?
These two need a budget and can put something towards living expenses, something towards their entertainment/nights out, and something into a vacation fund plus money for family gifts. They shouldn’t go on a vacation until the money is there to pay for it.