It’s time for another 90 Day Fiance Recap, tonight it’s time for the Happily Ever After Version. That is the silliest thing ever for call this franchise because no one seems to be living happily ever after. This is my least favorite of all the 90 Days flavors, but it is still very addictive and I love Kalani and Asuelu. But I can’t wait until tomorrow night when we get 90 Days The Other Way! That’s my favorite!
Michael & Angela
We begin tonight’s two hour episode with Michael getting all dressed up and wearing his gold chain that says, Angela. Surely this is true love, right? 🙂 In confessional Michael says he likes Angela’s smile and her boobs. I bet he has seem her boobs more than her smile. Does Angela ever smile? The current plan, which I had forgotten, is for Angela to fly back to Nigeria and get married. Then, they can apply for a spousal visa for Michael. This has to be her third or fourth trip to Nigeria. How is she paying for all of this and feeding that entire litter of children and grandkids, and her elderly mama? Perhaps the show is paying for the trips now. Michael tells his aunt that he and Angela have a lot of “misunderstandings.”
Auntie is concerned about Micheal being able to have kids with Angela. Gee, you think? She wants Michael to find another wife to have babies with. When Michael says that Angela won’t agree to that, Auntie says that he needs to just marry a Nigerian woman then. Speaking of relatives, back in Hazelhurst, we meet Angela’s sister. She agrees to go to Nigeria to be her witness. Clearly, production is paying for these trips. Angela is taking some sort of Burger King crown for Micheal. Really? She tries on her dress to show her mom and grandkids. Later, Angela goes to get her hoohah checked for cancer.
Colt & Larissa & Jess
Why are these people still on muh teevee? Sigh. No one cares about Colt telling his mommy he has a new girlfriend. And that he is going to go to Brazil with Jess. Mommy is not happy about Jess being from Brazil. This is just stupid. And not fun stupid like the rest of them. Mommy is worried that Colt will get married on the trip to Brazil. It would not surprise me. OMG! Colt’s mom wants to go to Brazil with him.
Since Larissa doesn’t have a man, her storyline is going to be meddling in Colt’s relationship. So she starts with calling Jess. She wants to warn Jess that Colt starts out nice and gets mean. She tells Jess that Colt will put her US residency in jeopardy. Larissa asks Jess if Colt sometimes texts and won’t let her see the phone. She says Colt does do that. She says Colt’s mom is a demon. Eventually, Jess just hangs up o Larissa. It seems Larissa is was right. Colt has Vanessa over to dinner with mommy. He has slept with her in the past. He’s attracted to her but he doesn’t think she is interested. Vanessa says they are best friends. When Vanessa says not to give Jess any money. Colt admits that he “helped pay for her ticket to Brazil.” He has also given her another $1,000. SIGH.
Kalani & Asuelu
Asuelu is still pouting about not being able to go to Samoa. Instead, they are taking the boys on a road trip to California. Apparently, at least one of the boys is sick and Asuelu don’t understand why they are traveling with sick babies. He does have a point. Asuelu says that American women have it easy. Again, he has a point. There are no washing machines or diswashers or TVs to babysit the kids in Samoa. They argue all the way to California. Kalani’s mom is in the car and she’s pissed a Asuelu. Poor, Asuelu.
When they get to the AirBnB, Asuelu goes outside to get away from all the henpecking. He is so sad. All Kalani keeps saying is that it is the start of Oliver’s Birthday weekend. Oliver doesn’t have any idea about any of that. Oliver can’t even talk. She needs to talk to the manchild she married. Oh, she stupidly though America would make a man out of Asuelu. She should understand Samoan culture. Her father is from Samoa. Kalani goes in the house and complains to her mother. Asuelu takes his stuff and leaves. On foot. Asuelu gives production his microphone and gets on a commuter bus. Does he think that will get him back to Utah?
Karine & Paul
Karine is afraid to drink tap water. Paul wants to show Karine his car. I imagine it has been sitting at his parents house for years. Paul’s mom is not home and she had taken his housekeys away from him. Good for her. The trunk is full of crap and old food. It’s disgusting. There is also a giant rusty dent in the back left quarter panel that looks like the back tail light will also be effected. Karine says she and her baby are not getting in that car. I agree. But she doesn’t have a choice. She is already wanting to go home to Brazil and it is day one.
Elizabeth & Andrei
These two are off to Moldova with the baby for wedding number two. After 15 hours on a plane they finally land in Moldova. I may have to check this place out as a retirement spot. Hopefully whenever that time comes I’ll be allowed to travel through Europe, but at this rate who knows? I don’t think anything is going to be done to help us get the coronavirus under control until November, when hopefully the world can start getting back to normal. If we get four more years of Trump, I’m not sure what countries will allow Americans inside their borders.
After arriving at Andrei’s parents house they all have dinner with his family. It is there that Elizabeth learns that since she isn’t Orthodox, she must be baptized before the baby can be baptized. She’s pissed that Andrei didn’t tell her this before. While Elizabeth goes to put the baby to bed. Andrei tells his family that he basically doesn’t get along with her family. Or more to the point, they don’t like him. So there are surprises for everyone!
Next week: Angela arrives in Nigeria, Larissa learns her fate after an immigration meeting, Asuelu is still missing, Elizabeth learns how Moldavian wives cook and clean and care for their families, and we catch back up with Tania and Syngin, Paul shows Karine a home that is actually worse than where she lived in Brazil, Colt and his mother arrive in Brazil Jess hates Debbie and Debbie falls ill.