I’ve been slacking off today and watching movies because as naa keeps posting in comments, it’s my birthday. But I might as well get it together and do a Betty Brodrick recap. I’m taping a lot of stuff so I can’t watch a movie if two things are taping at once, because, Spectrum Sucks. And you guys seem to like this show. I’ll get to MDLLA at a later date. So let’s get right to it.
Dan is such and asshole. That should be the whole recap right there. It seems that Dan and the home wrecking whore are trying to ruin Betty’s Christmas. Dan and Linda were going to give Betty the kids so they could have a romantic getaway at a mountain chalet. But she didn’t want to do that so now the kids are at the chalet watching their married father sleep with the office receptionist right in front of them.
Here Come Hell Go
And Dan sent Betty flowers (the straight guy kind) and a Christmas card just to keep on fucking with her mind. So while they were out of town, she went over to her old house and destroyed all the Christmas presents. Again, good for her I say. Then she gets served with her divorce papers. On the last episode, Dan somehow managed to get a divorce finalized without Betty even being notified of the court date. And of course he got the kids, and she has no visitation. Since the divorce was bifurcated, the assets have yet to be divided. But I doubt she will get anything. She is FURIOUS. So she calls him at home to scream at him, and she gets the answering machine. Linda has recorded the message, “Hi you have reached the Brodericks…” Hell they may not live through this episode.
Dan has his secretary transcribing her numerous profanity-filled messages she leaves on his answering machine. He’s decided he can fine her $100 per offensive word. I’d ask how he can do that, but he seems to be able to do as he damn well pleases. The he rattles off a ton of other actions that will result in fines. Oh he is going to deduct them from her spousal support. Betty’s “friends” are not particularly helpful. Dan also sent her the bill for when he had her committed. Jesus. Just kill his ass already. Betty continues to leave nasty messages on the answering machine. Dan’s secretary reluctantly continues to transcribe them.
Betty Ups The Crazy
Moving on to property damage, Betty rips the antenna off his car and throws a flower pot through his window. She breaks in and hammers holes into the wall and spray paints everything with hearts and random squiggles. I’ve been a bit down today and this is oddly making me feel better. Well that and my fancy linen sheets I got today.
Sidenote: WAIT WHAT? Chrisley Knows Best got a new season? Are they going to be filming from prison? WTF?
Betty goes to Dan’s new house and he has her arrested for trespassing. She is booked and released. Since Dan is no longer paying her any support, and is in fact billing her for “fines” her friend writes her a check for $6,500. Dan was voluntarily paying her $9,000 a month. That’s a lot for the 1980s. That’s $108,000 a year tax free. Dan was made President of the San Diego Bar Association. She finally gets a lawyer and says she wants approximately 25% of his monthly income. She believes that figure to be $28,500.
Betty Gets A Lawyer
Betty and Dan have a day in court with both of them present for a change. Dan’s lawyer says that Betty has once again called his house. The judge says to stop wasting the court’s time with petty bullshit. Wow! They have a judge that doesn’t suck up to Dan? Amazing. How long until Dan’s attorney requests another judge? Betty’s attorney requests that the psych evaluation be done ASAP so that she can resume visitation. But, Betty sneaks to see one of her boys to give him some homework help and a bag of potato chips. Something tells me that is going to be a very costly bag of chips.
Things go well at the psych eval, until they don’t. The shrink was all ready to recommend primary custody until Betty randomly threatened to kill Dan. Oops! Things you should have kept inside your head, Bets. Betty’s descent into madness continues. But she gets to see her kids for Easter weekend. Then, the school calls and one of her kids is sick. The school could not reach Dan. The school nurse informs her the Anthony has “had a lot of colds” this winter. Apparently, he has also had lice. She is all excited about Easter with her kids and so are her kids. So Dan will totally do something to keep this from happening. Yep! She goes to the school to pick them up and sees Dan driving off with them in the car.
Betty Goes To Jail
Dan recorded a conversation between Betty and one of her sons to use in court. Because, asshole. Then Betty is called in for a second psych eval session and storms out of it saying she’s not coming back because the therapist keeps her from getting angry, and anger is all she has left. Then, her attorney demands payment with money that Betty doesn’t have. But she has worked out a deal where she will sell one of Dan’s properties, and take her fees out of Betty’s half. Betty loses a gasket over her attorney making a deal with the devil behind her back.
Betty wants to fire her lawyer. And so they go to court and even though she is no longer her attorney she points out that Dan is deliberately trying to diminish the community property through a ton of ridiculous contempt charges. The judge is irked that there are nine new filing of contempt just this week. As Betty’s attorney is making some headway, the shrink comes into court and sits on Dan’s side of the courtroom. Ut oh. The judge tells Dan to get the girlfriend off the answering machine. But then he says that according to the psych eval, he is not giving Betty visitation. And for the contempt charges he is sentencing Betty to 25 days in jail. Her attorney manages to get the judge down to 19 days suspended and six days in jail. She is cuffed and taken to jail.
Dan proposes to Linda. We only have three more episodes…