Tonight we begin the Below Deck Med recaps with much less Pete! I could not be happier about that. The fucktard recently responding to his firing by basically saying he enjoys sex with all races of women and therefore cannot be racist. He is not even smart enough to at least pretend he sees the problem and plans to better moving forward whether he means it or not. Add to that the fact we don’t have to see Lara ever again means this season is getting better and better!
We begin with a deck crew meeting on the bridge to address Pete and all the male crew about how to address Malia. And guess what Pete, it’s not “sweetheart.” Sandy is pissed. It was short but sweet; however, the guys look sort of irritated. Pete acts like the meeting wasn’t about him. They all may not have giant ears like him but their hearing is just fine. And so is all of ours. Once again Pete just denies his crap behavior. He literally asks Malia who was calling her that. This redneck version of Thomas Ravenel is disgusting. Rob goes to Malia to make it clear he has the utmost respect for her.
I Saw The Sign… And The Sun!
This is Kiko’s first picnic ever. Apparently, private yachts don’t do picnics. And neither do Brazilians according to him. I find that hard to believe. He has made them quiche and Captain Sandy is leaned up against a wall in the kitchen criticizing his lunch menu. Her micromanaging make me furious. I feel like it is all for camera time.
As the guest go on a tour of the amazing cathedral we get to see inside it too! Meanwhile the deckhands have a very limited amount of time to do the setup for the picnic. Also, it’s threatening to rain on their picnic. Pete is completely incompetent and breaks a bunch of the glassware. At least they got their lunch in before the bad weather hit. On the bad news side, Lara was such a disaster as a stew that no one noticed that Jessica sucks too. Pete threw the broken glass straight into the plastic trash bag. When Malia went to pick it up, the glass cut her leg. Is it me or does this episode seem all about Pete and his incompetence.
Hannah Discovers Kids Are Messy and Jessica Sucks As A Stew
Hannah is loving having kids on the boat. She says it is mommy training for her. And just in time since Hannah is pregnant! However, these kids run around making messes and dropping food all over the place. I love that they try to play the guitar and randomly sing Pretty Woman. It’s adorable.
Jessica is a complainer and was very late coming back from her break. She also can’t keep up with her uniforms. There is also a torrential downpour going on. CLEARLY, they did not have time to edit this episode because it is all about Pete.
Sandy Is Annoying AF!
At dinner, the guests are hungry so the moved dinner time up to 8:30. Then they took forever getting ready. So the food is just sitting there getting cold waiting for them. Sandy is pissed because Kiko is serving a dish he made on the first charter. The season that Leon was a chef, they used to rant about the fact that he made beef cheeks on every charter. But all the guests loved his beef cheeks. So what is the problem. These guests love Kiko’s Brazilian style sea bass. Should they have been deprived of it because the previous guests had it as well? And by the way. I was a Leon fan when he was the chef. That was one of my favorite seasons. I also liked the crazy female diving girl. Sorry, Captain Lee.
Captain Sandy tells Jessica that she has got to get the laundry room in order. It’s a hot mess that Lara left for Jessica to clean up. That sucks but she’s got no choice but to clean it up. But first Jessica informs us that she has managed to avoid laundry for her entire yachting career. Guess what, buttercup! You are third stew and will be living in the laundry room this season. Jessica and Hannah are on WWHL together tonight. I wonder how that will go?
Guess Who’s Coming Back!?
Somehow everyone managed to make it through the charter, but it was not a smooth trip. Sandy praised everyone which is unusual for her. And everyone got $1,845 for a two day charter. Bugsy is going to be the new second stew. Hannah is not happy about it. The last time Bugsy worked under Hannah, she told her on the last day that she sucks as a chief stew. I see you 51 Minds casting! Bugsy is a really good stew who will make Hannah look incompetent. Bugsly and Malia are really good friends. Sandy is already telling Hannah how great the table settings will be now.
Off the crew goes for a night on the town. Jessica is crushing hard on Rob who is in a relationship that he says is open. Malia says that Rob is a “deep” guy and Jessica… well she may be “deep in places.” Malia! lol! At the club Pete is rubbing up and all the women. Kiko calls Pete a “tarado” which he says means horny guy and Google translate says means moron. Both are correct. I don’t know why they are not giving us the names of the guys in the talking heads. I think the other deckhand hitting on every thing that moves in the club is Alex. When Kiko goes to get in his bunk, he finds Rob and Jessica in full makeout mode. He goes to sleep in Jessica’s bunk.
Malia is in between a rock and a hard place with Bugsy coming onboard. Those two are super close and Malia has been tight with Hannah all season. And she is Hannah’s cabin mate.
Next week: Pete continues to be a problem. Perhaps he gets fired before the end of the season? Also the guests seem to be all asshole guys who want to pick up girls and bring them back to the boat suddenly requiring Kiko to whip up dinner for twelve. The weather continues to be problematic.
UPDATE: WWHL Mini Recap In Comments HERE