It’s time for what could be the final Pump Rule Recap ever. It is starting to seem more and more likely that Bravo might just scrap this whole show. The public outcry to fire Jax Taylor, and to a lesser degree Britanny Cartwright continues to escalate. Lance Bass publicly distanced himself from both of them today. I think the smart move by Bravo would be to axe this show as it now exists and add a new show focused on the Toms at Tom Tom. We shall see. Interestingly, there was a lengthy GQ article today proclaiming Sandoval at the number one guy on Pump Rules. So his agent is working overtime to get good publicity for him out there. That says, my very best SOURCE continues to say Jax will not be fired and the show will go on.
Sidenote: Lawn Kid and his little girlfriend that I have TOLD HIM was not good for him are having a knowckdown drag out fight outside my house right now. Sheesh I went inside to give them their privacy, but now I am sort of dying to know what is going on. I did hear her say “I’m warning you right now..” And before she came back for round three, he said they were fighting because she keeps telling people (me) they are still together. I’m not really sure how I got involved in all of this. But things are escalating. She is super pissed and he’s a no conflict kind of quiet kid.
LVP Comes For Danica For No Real Reason
Back on topic, Scheana and Raquel went on vacation together at a casino/resort outside of San Diego. That’s sort of an odd combination…Scheana’s boyfriend was there and it is unclear if James was there or not but I imagine he is. James hasn’t been very chatty on social media lately. I’m amazed at all the people going on vacation during a pandemic. Younger people are getting Covid in higher numbers now. Everyone needs to be wearing a mask when out in public and these two were not! I just gave Lawn Kid a mask but he doesn’t wear them. Sigh. I also gave him his red Nikes and he was soooo excited. 🙂
For some reason, Stassi is even more obnoxious now than she was before she was fired. I just can’t tolerate her especially after binge watching an early episode the other day. Conversely, I feel a bit sorry for the other three. LVP seems to love Max and Brett. But she is no fan of Danica. LVP is pissed that Danica claimed on TV that LVP was having an affair with Brett. Well, she herself talks about how hot Brett is. So it’s not really that far fetched. Plus none of us, including me seem to have had any idea about the allegations. Apparently, it happened on one of those Bravo interviews on their website. She basically just said what we all saw. Those two were very flirtatious. We have eyes, LVP so lose your righteous indignation.
Jax Is A Broken Record
Can we fire Scheana too? Because, ugh. Same with Lala. Actually, why do we even still watch this show?I love Sandoval, Schwartz and Ariana. That’s it. And on we go to the Jax is a douchebag portion of the show. Jax says he is trying to be a better person. Every reunion Jax says he is trying to be a better person. Ariana mentions the same thing. Then we get a clip of every single reunion where he says the same down thing. If I had closed captions on, it would read “unintelligible screaming” right now.
I love that Andy reminded us that it is Tuesday. I thought it was Monday all day long. And. I totally forgot to recap Below Deck Med. I promise to get to that ASAP. Meanwhile, Jax complains about being asked to go to Malibu to do a beach clean up. He is so tone deaf. Jax says he is “very good at apologizing.” We talk about Jax’s mental health and Lala says that Randall paid for a therapy session for Jax and he didn’t show up. Brittany and Jax get pissy with everyone because they feel like Jax is getting held accountable. Brittany turns her head and will not even look at Lala when she is speaking to her. She’s crying.
Jax Feels Singled Out By Andy
Lots of random screaming occurs and I suddenly have a brief moment of connection with Katie when she asks Schwartz, “What is happening right now?” Basically everyone is saying that Jax needs help but he won’t take it. Andy pissed off Brittany by asking how she is coping with having to constantly defend her indefensible husband. Ariana and Sandoval have been trying to help Jax for years and he treats them like shit. There is a small break in the questions and everyone gets up and Andy is pissed. This seems to have been going on for hours and they just need to stand up for a minute. Jax says Andy is always against him.
Andy says that he likes Jax. He also says that Jax needs to watch the show, which apparently he doesn’t do. Andy says his question are directly tied to things he says and does on the show. Basically, Jax is an asshole on the show and that is why his questions are what they are. Would you watch the show you were on? I probably would not. I don’t like reading my own recaps. If I were to do that I’d spend all day editing the grammar and spelling and sheer stupidity of most of them. Jax mutter, “This is the worst reunion ever. For the love of God, Jax is a total piece of shit on Twitter all day every day and he can’t tolerate Andy’s questions on the reunion?
Dayna Gets Emotional
Next, Andy brings up Dayna’s strong reaction to Scheana trying to give her a psychic reading for her birthday. It was just too much for Dayna. She’s already crying. I am really not feeling that neon green dress on her. IJS. Dayna mom died seven years ago and her dad isn’t in her life or her sister’s life anymore and she feels all on her own. Everyone is crying. Even Jax. He relates because he lost his relationship with his mother when his father died. Mostly, because he is a piece of shit though, so that is different. Everyone urges Jax to make amends with his mother. But he won’t. Dayna says she doesn’t judge Jax for not speaking to his mother. She tried to keep her dad in her life but it wasn’t working anymore. I can’t imagine.
Andy asks Ariana how she felt when she watched the show and found out it was Lala who was making fun of her house and not Stassi. Stassi says she like Ariana. Ariana was really hurt. I really hate Lala. And I used to like her. Apparently, they all group chat in between scenes. AKA PLOTTING. And we are going back to Dayna again. It’s the Max and Brett and Dayna triangle. I find Max and Brett very likable. Then again. I have TERRIBLE taste in me. So…
LVP Is Just An Awful Person
I don’t understand why people keep coming for Danica. I actually like her just fine. But LVP has her in her sights. Finally, we get a bit of time with James and Raquel. I really hope they get more airtime next season. If there is a next season. James has nothing but kind things to say about Randall these days. He is good with Lala and Randall. It is time for final thoughts. Kristen misses being friends with Katie and Stassi. I wonder if they bonded over being fired. Jax continues to be a dick to Sandoval. Brittany tries to say that she thinks Jax and Sandoval could work it out if they hung out just the two of them. Jax tells Brittany “not to contradict him like that.” Wow, she really has to coddle Jax.
For the final toast, they bring in Ken, Randall and Brock. WTF is Brock? Oh, he’s Scheana’s dude. Everyone seems to love Randall. Everyone is supportive of Brock. LVP gives some last positive words and with that this shit show is mercifully over.