Sorry for the delay on this Below Deck Med recap. It’s not just that my sleep schedule is off, it’s that all I want to do is sleep. I’m dealing with a bit of narcolepsy. But I really want to watch this show and see if Lara gets fucking fired, as she should be. 🙂
I’m super irritated with Captain Sandy already. When Hannah says she needs her and she replies with “right now?” as if she has something better to be doing I want to throttle her. I watched WWHL before watching this and Captain Sandy has a WHOLE NEW ATTITUDE after watching what Hannah had to go through. Also, bear in mind that the rumor is that Hannah gets fired on this season. But Sandy gets pissed off with Lara fairly quickly. Eventually Lara and Hannah agree to a fresh start. Even Captain Sandy says Lara has a “fuck you, energy.” But so far not fired.
The Crew Enjoys Their First Night Off….Sorta
I really hate this boat. I’ve always loved the boats, but this one I just find irritating. This week’s guest include Roy Orbison Jr. and his wife as the primaries. And their nanny to the kids. And the kids can’t swim. Wow. And also some dude from Ace of Bass. Sorry, I’m not overly into music. Captain Sandy is already starstruck. Rob is in heat over Jessica who is off duty and laying out in a bikini. Hannah talks to (presumably) her boyfriend and new baby daddy on the phone, so maybe she didn’t hook up with a guest after all. Sadly, we also find out that Pete’s dad has terminal cancer. Pete’s a dick but this is still really sad.
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We finally, get the first night out with the crew. This should be interesting. Oddly the male deckhands seem, at least at first, to be inspired by Malia being a female bosun. But something comes out wrong when Pete seems to be giving backhand compliments. On WWHL Captain Sandy and Malia both seemed to think that Pete was a problem the entire season. Pete and Lara are made for each other. They are both clueless assholes. Here’s hoping they are both one and done. Kiko on the other hand is amazing. And he hates Lara too. And Lara thinks Hannah is rude? ROFLAMO. Jessica and Rob are cute together. I love that Malia sticks up for Hannah.
How Much Longer Must We Endure Lara & Pete?
I have no clue what Pete is even blathering on about right now. He needs to ride into the sunset with Lara. They both need to go. Pete needs to just take his attitude, his sweaty pits, and his jug ears somewhere else. Sorry, not sorry. LOL Pete and Lara get into one van and everyone else piles into the other van to avoid them. Kiko starts screaming about Lara being a bitch in sort of a humorous way. I’m sofa king over both of them. Pete makes me nauseous. Then he gets up the next morning and calls his boss “sweetie”! It’s infuriating. Alex is late to work.
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Also the next morning, Lara has gone missing. I am feeling a bit like this is more of a love to hate relationship at the moment. But she really can’t be here all season. Neither can Pete. The thing about Bravo’s stance on “love to hate” is it should be a very shortlived thing and not rewarding people like Nene for thirteen seasons. WTF? Lara quits. YAY! Can Pete leave next? Someone just said,” I just want to sleep for a week.” Me too! And is Pete fucking crying? Miraculously, it seems they will get a new stew.
Does Anyone Know How To Build A Crib?
Finally, the guests arrive. With and infant and a little kid. This is going to be a disaster. The kids are adorable though. There is a lot of wind though. They can’t put toys in the water. As soon as they get the slide out, they have to take it back in. And then Captain Sandy wants it back out. The second charter is already a clusterfuck. The dickhands continue to resist Malia. I think she should throw them all overboard. They end up docking due to weather.
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I love that Kiko is making tapas. Hannah is keeping all the wine glasses full. Things go much better without Lara. Kiko does a tableside explanation of all of his dishes. The guests are pleased. In the end, things go as well as could be expected. The next day the weather is still very windy. Sandy and Malia talk about Pete calling her sweetie. Captain Sandy calls a meeting and blesses the guys out. She tells them to either stop with the sweetie shit or leave. Yay! Let’s hope Pete goes next.
I thought FOR SURE that Lara was a C-list actress hired by production to get people to like Hannah. But on WWHL, a captain friend of Sandy’s told her she was lucky to have his AWESOME former chief stew, Lara. Sandy believes he may think differently after he sees the first two episodes. Probably, she made the other stews do all the work while she smoked all day and night.
DYING TO KNOW WHO THE NEW STEW is who has worked with Hannah before. I would crack if it were Bugsy! All of the stews I liked were on the Captain Lee BD. Maybe they worked together before the show.
I am hoping it’s one of the girl’s from last season but it’s probably someone Hannah doesn’t get along with.
Which is most of the stews that have been under her, sorry not sorry but Hannah has been trash since her first season.
I’m a bit shocked so many people are hating on Lara as hard when Hannah has history of being awful and confrontational.
Sorry this is me, page refreshed before I was ready to submit.
The new stew is June!
I think your in to something with bugsy I noticed an old article in my news feed about sandy saying ahe would be a great chief stew an then Hannah said in the clip she can’t do another season like that. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was her.
Pete is repulsive. I really hope we don’t have to deal with his shit all season.
Sandy needs to do some self reflection. On WWHL she said she wished that Hannah had come to her and really explained what had happened and said that Lara had put her hands on her.
She needs to look at herself and ask “Why didn’t Hannah feel she could tell me those things” and also “Why did I shut her down when she started to explain the magnitude of the situation, instead of asking deeper questions to get a bigger picture.”
I couldn’t really make that out. It looked like Lara was trying to get around her. She kept saying excuse me or something like that. But then Hannah said, don’t touch me. I wasn’t sure what was happening. Sandy is a shitty captain. She is there nit picking on things but doesn’t see the bigger things that are going on. I was kind of surprised that Malia didn’t confront Pete about the sweetheart shit. She did a good job telling him to do it her way. He is really obnoxious. I guess unit is the new bru.
Yes, Hannah *tried* to go to Sandy, but Sandy shut her down.
Jessica has an amazing body (geez). Man, I wish I had my 25 year old body :(.
I was stunned by Lara, just her arrogance in general was enough to make me want to throat punch her. Pete is such a moron, he’s one of those guys who thinks that he is all that but he really isn’t.
I agree. Punch her in the throat. Very funny.
Bye Lara! Pete, follow her lead.
Lara was a really strange lady. We’re we supposed to believe she was Italian? I so enjoyed when she insulted Kiko. His reaction was wonderful. Not the little idiot savant he appears to be. I’m going to enjoy watching him. I always enjoy Hannah’s lovely snotttiness. Captain Sandy is a controlling nightmare..It is incredibly hard to.work for someone who has such an idealized.expectation of those who serve under her. I’m enjoying Melia managing.the bros. She’s a good leader. I’m sorry Lara left I was hoping to see Hannah through her overboard. Oh well. Maybe Aiesha will come back. That would be so.fun. The banter in the kitchen between her and Kiko would be hilarious!! Great recap.Tamara.
Lara was deserving of being fired, glad she quit. I don’t think she would respond well to any chief stew’s approach, she’d always find fault. I do think it was inappropriate of Hannah and Kiko to be talking about her when she was sitting just a few feet away. It was unprofessional. Goodbye Pete and your little Peter. Have fun popping the pimp
Ace of Base! All that she wants. 1992
Pete crying over Lara when he didn’t even know her name. He was calling her Lana 😂