Sorry for the delay on this Below Deck Med recap. It’s not just that my sleep schedule is off, it’s that all I want to do is sleep. I’m dealing with a bit of narcolepsy. But I really want to watch this show and see if Lara gets fucking fired, as she should be. 🙂
I’m super irritated with Captain Sandy already. When Hannah says she needs her and she replies with “right now?” as if she has something better to be doing I want to throttle her. I watched WWHL before watching this and Captain Sandy has a WHOLE NEW ATTITUDE after watching what Hannah had to go through. Also, bear in mind that the rumor is that Hannah gets fired on this season. But Sandy gets pissed off with Lara fairly quickly. Eventually Lara and Hannah agree to a fresh start. Even Captain Sandy says Lara has a “fuck you, energy.” But so far not fired.
The Crew Enjoys Their First Night Off….Sorta
I really hate this boat. I’ve always loved the boats, but this one I just find irritating. This week’s guest include Roy Orbison Jr. and his wife as the primaries. And their nanny to the kids. And the kids can’t swim. Wow. And also some dude from Ace of Bass. Sorry, I’m not overly into music. Captain Sandy is already starstruck. Rob is in heat over Jessica who is off duty and laying out in a bikini. Hannah talks to (presumably) her boyfriend and new baby daddy on the phone, so maybe she didn’t hook up with a guest after all. Sadly, we also find out that Pete’s dad has terminal cancer. Pete’s a dick but this is still really sad.
We finally, get the first night out with the crew. This should be interesting. Oddly the male deckhands seem, at least at first, to be inspired by Malia being a female bosun. But something comes out wrong when Pete seems to be giving backhand compliments. On WWHL Captain Sandy and Malia both seemed to think that Pete was a problem the entire season. Pete and Lara are made for each other. They are both clueless assholes. Here’s hoping they are both one and done. Kiko on the other hand is amazing. And he hates Lara too. And Lara thinks Hannah is rude? ROFLAMO. Jessica and Rob are cute together. I love that Malia sticks up for Hannah.
How Much Longer Must We Endure Lara & Pete?
I have no clue what Pete is even blathering on about right now. He needs to ride into the sunset with Lara. They both need to go. Pete needs to just take his attitude, his sweaty pits, and his jug ears somewhere else. Sorry, not sorry. LOL Pete and Lara get into one van and everyone else piles into the other van to avoid them. Kiko starts screaming about Lara being a bitch in sort of a humorous way. I’m sofa king over both of them. Pete makes me nauseous. Then he gets up the next morning and calls his boss “sweetie”! It’s infuriating. Alex is late to work.
Also the next morning, Lara has gone missing. I am feeling a bit like this is more of a love to hate relationship at the moment. But she really can’t be here all season. Neither can Pete. The thing about Bravo’s stance on “love to hate” is it should be a very shortlived thing and not rewarding people like Nene for thirteen seasons. WTF? Lara quits. YAY! Can Pete leave next? Someone just said,” I just want to sleep for a week.” Me too! And is Pete fucking crying? Miraculously, it seems they will get a new stew.
Does Anyone Know How To Build A Crib?
Finally, the guests arrive. With and infant and a little kid. This is going to be a disaster. The kids are adorable though. There is a lot of wind though. They can’t put toys in the water. As soon as they get the slide out, they have to take it back in. And then Captain Sandy wants it back out. The second charter is already a clusterfuck. The dickhands continue to resist Malia. I think she should throw them all overboard. They end up docking due to weather.
I love that Kiko is making tapas. Hannah is keeping all the wine glasses full. Things go much better without Lara. Kiko does a tableside explanation of all of his dishes. The guests are pleased. In the end, things go as well as could be expected. The next day the weather is still very windy. Sandy and Malia talk about Pete calling her sweetie. Captain Sandy calls a meeting and blesses the guys out. She tells them to either stop with the sweetie shit or leave. Yay! Let’s hope Pete goes next.